In Loving Memory of My Father, Shri Balbir Singh Bhagowalia [1933-2016]

I am writing this deeply personal blog to honor the memory of my recently departed father, Shri (Mr.) Balbir Singh Bhagowalia, 82 (August 1933 - July 12, 2016), who passed away after a long and brave battle with cancer. This blog comes deep from my heart and soul and is the hardest one I have ever done and anyone can do.

I would like to honor my father's memory by illuminating some simple perspectives and insights about him, to show what endeared him to so many and why we miss him so dearly.  I hope we all take a little time from our busy lives and this "rat race" to reflect the importance of family in this information age.  Simply put, how important it is to cherish our time with our parents, family and loved ones in this fleeting life's journey.  In the end, that is what matters most.

A LEGACY WEBSITE HONORS MY FATHER'S MEMORY 

The messages from his family, friends and well-wishers from around the world at the website and the ceremony were very heart-warming and touching.  The ceremony was held in North Carolina last month was very simple, moving, emotional and powerful.  It mixed our Asian (Indian) traditions and contemporary/traditional American practices.  In the end, we felt the connection with everyone who showed their human caring, love, honor and respect.  That is all that matters.  

A FIFTY-YEAR CAREER SPANNING THE GLOBE

My father had a long successful career spanning over 50 years, across many continents. His storied career included roles in engineering, technical consultancy and executive positions in the AEC/General Electric Company (UK); Bharat Heavy Electricals/BHEL (India), Mercedes-Benz (India), Tata Engineering and Locomotive Company/TELCO (India); and with the United Nations Industrial Development Organization (UNIDO) in in Brazil, Egypt, Iraq, and Indonesia.

In 1991 he retired from the United Nations (UN) and immigrated to the US to be near his immediate family. He later became a US citizen and continued his career with the Boeing Company, Science Applications International Corporation (SAIC) and briefly co-owned a small business. He was a Fellow of the Institute of Engineers and Institute of Standards Engineers (India) amongst numerous other prestigious awards he received throughout his career. 

Born in India, to the late Lal Singh and Lajyavati Kaur Bhagowalia, my father's career success and accolades were preceded by the same in academics. While my grandparents were stationed in East Africa, at age 16, My father graduated at the top of his national high school class. From there he immediately went to college in the United Kingdom (UK), where he graduated with Honors with a Bachelor of Science and Masters of Science in Mechanical and Electrical Engineering from the University of Wales (UK).  My father was self-made man, earning everything in life through his hard work and perseverance.

A PERSONAL LIFE EPITOMIZED BY FOCUS ON FAMILY, HUMILITY, ACTION,  BRAVERY AND INTEGRITY

Five key characteristics would best describe and epitomize my father:

1. A FAMILY MAN: First and foremost, my Dad was a family man - family was most important to him. He was a devoted husband, loving father, proud grandfather and great relative. He is survived by his wife, Kamla Puri Bhagowalia; son, Sanjeev "Sonny" Bhagowalia; daughter-in-law Daisy M. Bhagowalia; daughter, Vanita B. Sehgal; son-in-law Ishan Sehgal; grandsons, Rajeev K. Bhagowalia, Sanjay K. Bhagowalia, granddaughter Aneesha W. Sehgal, siblings (sisters) Kulwant Kaur Vig and Surinder Kaur Wadhawan. He was married for 59 years and dearly loved my Mom, his kids, his grand kids, his son-in-law, daughter-in-law, his two sisters, Kulwant and Surinder and his entire extended family of relatives. He kept in contact with everyone to the best of his health and abilities - he was connected to everyone and many have told me they felt a special connection with him. He was selfless - always complimentary and celebrating the accomplishments of the extended family and he also considered many friends as part of the family. Like any father or grandfather, he was very proud of his kids accomplishments - extolling it every chance he had but in a nice way. He was especially proud of all the grandkids their character development, academic and sports achievements. He was always looking forward to information about them as they contemplated the aspirational goals in their careers.
2. AN ETERNAL OPTIMIST WITH A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR: Dad was an eternal optimist, an extremely positive person, who looked for the positive in every aspect of life. He especially cared for (and lived for) his family and friends throughout his life with this optimistic philosophy. In keeping with his optimistic philosophy he believed that "laughter is the best medicine." He would always uplift others by making them laugh and he was well known for his sense of humor (his "on-the-spot" joke collection for any occasion that could be invoked on-demand was legendary!). His self-deprecating Punjabi humor is an example of a special trait and strength of our people - who can freely laugh at ourselves.  Of course, his British sense of humor and wit interspersed with Indian colloqialisms were priceless. 
3. A MAN OF ACTION: Although he was a simple man in his demeanor and he always carried himself in life with the motto - "actions not words". He was self-made man with achievements made through strong academics from high school to college and a 50-year storied work career spanning many top companies across continents. He was a great man who accomplished goals though his actions in life by giving a lot of himself for others. He would help everyone wherever possible and loved solving hard puzzling problems. In fact, no carpentry, mechanical or electrical task was too tough for the Indian "MacGyver", as I often referred to him.
4. A BRAVE WARRIOR (ESPECIALLY AGAINST CANCER): He was brave Punjabi Kshatriya warrior who valiantly fought against cancer to be around longer so that he could be with his family. The last five years especially epitomized that brave daily battle. I would shudder every time I heard about the many treatments and surgeries he went through with all their concomitant complications. I often wondered how he did it and bore the suffering of the many complications of multiple ailments. Why does this suffering happen to the best people? How important is sustenance from family and friends and some feeling of hope? The cancer may have eventually got his body but it never conquered his indomitable spirit, his great mind, his pure heart and his kind soul. I will remember him as a proud "Sher-e-Punjab (Lion of Punjab)" in his how he tackled life with his seven chakras of power as outlined in our Hindu beliefs. His energy, spirit and positive outlook on life - his "atman" (soul) embodied those qualities in life and will live on forever in our hearts. I told him I felt guilty I couldn't visit him as often as I wanted to, when I was serving as Hawaii CIO from 2011-2014.  His response:  "Serve the people of Hawaii, I am watching and I am so proud of you."  Unconditional love such as this is a life lesson I will never forget.  I finally left in 2014 because I had to come back to DC....I was able to visit him regularly from DC to Cary, NC starting in 2014 until his untimely demise.
5. A PROUD AMERICAN - MAN OF INTEGRITY WITH A TOUCH OF CLASS: Above all, he was man who was trusted and respected by others because he comported himself with the highest integrity, strongest moral fiber and amazing character. He earned everything in life with dignity.  Respect is earned - not given in life. He simply conducted himself with the utmost decency, honesty, humility and class in every aspect of his life, earning him the respect he deserved but did not seek.  He emigrated to the USA to be with us in 1991 and was so proud to become a US Citizen  along with my Momin 1996.   

In his spare time, Dad had three favorite pastimes to ease his mind:

(1) MOVIES/TV SERIES: He liked to watch good movies and TV Series (he liked the classics, the latest movies as well and great TV shows (Downton Abbey; Lost). He along with Mom would ask me if I saw the "Lost" locations in Hawaii. We watched Zootopia; Star Wars -The Force Awakens together on iTunes last month. Dad liked both movies (although Mom thought Star Wars was too violent)!  As a young Indian in UK in the 1950's, he told me humorous encounters with celebrities (e.g., Lunch with Sir Richard Burton) - fascinating recollections from simpler times.

(2) SPORTS: He was an avid sports enthusiast. For example, he especially loved golf and the amazing Tiger Woods in his heyday; the world champion Indian Cricket Team; USA Teams; Lebron and the Cavaliers achieving NBA history. He loved to play golf but sadly couldn't go the golf course in the past couple of years due to his failing health. This was especially heart-breaking. He was the ultimate gentleman golfer exuding positivity - reminding us it was just a game and that the mere participation, milieu, fresh air/nature was more important than achieving a score or exhibiting remorse regarding the total futility of golf due to on a bad day on the course. A life lesson indeed! He missed the Rio 2016 olympics (which he was looking forward to) - which is really sad because after I graduated High School in India, I traveled abroad for the first time in 1978 to Rio de Janerio, Brazil to visit him and our family.  He took me to the famed Maracana stadium and some of the venues where the olympics were held.  Such is life.

(3) NEWS OF THE WORLD: He liked to keep up with the contemporary news, events and history of the world including his concerns about the future of our country - the USA. He would often comment about the sad decline of civility in national and international dialogue and the increasing strife in our world.

He and I would converse about general matters in life on a weekly basis and he always gave me pointers from his 50-year work career and life lessons (without being too preachy). We commiserated on many issues of the world and many of his solutions with his customary personable approach would work remarkably in all endeavors of life. Towards the end of his career, he simply was happy with work - without ostentatious titles.  I learnt that in this day and age, work sustains life, at any age, to keep oneself busy and have self-worth. He always followed my career (like any proud father would).  He always provided positive reinforcement throughout my 31+ year career (so far).

THE WISDOM OF THE AGES ENLIGHTENS US WITH SIMPLE WORDS: OM

In closing, our 5000-year civilization and Indian Scriptures (Bhagavad Gita) say: "But know that by whom this entire body is pervaded, is indestructible. No one is able to cause the destruction of the imperishable soul. The embodied soul is eternal in existence, indestructible and infinite, only the material body is factually perishable."  OM SHANTIH:  THE PEACE THAT PASSETH UNDERSTANDING.

Although, at this sad occasion, when our minds and hearts are filled with sadness and grief, my father would've preferred us to celebrate the great life he had lived with Mom; he would urge us all to "carry on" in our lives and be positive about our own futures and never give up.  

I will miss him dearly - but for now I will carry on in the battlefield of life as bravely as I can. But, in the quietest moments of introspection and at the "still point of the turning world", we all breakdown. I will quietly reflect at how lucky I was to be his son and how I hope to continue his selfless legacy by continuing to do good in the world. Shri (Mr.) Balbir Singh Bhagowalia certainly made the world a better place, exemplified through his actions and deeds - and we are all the better for it.  

May God rest his soul and may God keep you all in good health. OM SHANTIH.

Sincerely, 
Sanjeev "Sonny" Bhagowalia