Love You, Brother

“Love you, brother.”

My goal is to echo these words each day to my boys.

Ideally, these words are said while looking them in the eye or giving them a hug but more often than I would like this becomes habitual.?

I sense my older boys don’t exude the same enthusiasm for these words as the younger ones but it’s still apparent they yearn to hear them.?

In fact, I know they all yearn to hear these words.

To be loved. To be seen. To be valued. That is a deep level of connection we all desire.

John Eldredge, author of Wild at Heart, argues that a son longs to know the answer to the question “Am I enough in my father’s eyes?”

My boys need to know that, yes, they are more than enough in my eyes…that my love for them is not defined by how they behave or whether or not I have the energy to bring my full self to our relationship.??

They need to know that my love for them and their identity supersedes any bad day, parenting mistake, or behavior issue.?

They need to know that my love for them is not defined by any circumstance, success, or failure.?

I’m so grateful for the grace my boys extend to me because I’m far from perfect as a Dad.

Too often I let the emotion of the moment get to me.?

Too often my mind is preoccupied with replaying the day or thinking ahead to the future.?

Too often I come to them with my leftovers of energy remaining from the busy day.

There are moments and days where I feel like a home run as a father and there are other moments and days I feel like a failure.

And while it's important for them to hear these words every day, it’s especially important they hear these words when I have fallen short.?

My effort to let my boys know they are more than enough in my eyes is to tell them that I love them every day.

My hope and prayer are that I always make saying these words a priority. Perhaps this looks different as they become grown men with their own busy schedules but I will strive to let them know each day that their Dad loves them.

Love you, brothers.