Love & Truth Defined

How much do you love me? That’s the wrong question. How can anyone measure love? Most people misuse the “love.” “I love my house, I love my car, I loved that movie,” and on and on. Should one love inanimate objects? That is dumb. This misuse of love cheapens its meaning. We should use the word “I like” instead of love. “Why do you love me?” “How much do you love me?” These are also silly questions. If you say, “I love you for your beauty and intellect, or humor,” what happens when they fade away, as they always will? One should love a person for themselves, such as for their goodness, and kindness.

Sex is not “making love.” In truth is it is "intimacy" between two persons, which should always be beautiful. Most persons when they do something for another, it must be on their terms and wishes. “I’ll do this to show you I love you. Okay, but do it my way!” Real love is messy and is not just empty words—it requires action. Your behavior has to validate your words and feelings. Otherwise, it is empty words that have no truth or real meaning.

Pleasure seduces and stimulates the mind. It is powerful, but it does not last. Joy is a more lasting passion. It's the delight that saints experience by a vision of God, His mother, or a angel. Willpower, based on conviction, is higher and stronger than all other emotions or feelings. However, if someone says, “I can’t live without you, or I’ll die without you” They need a psychologist, not marriage. If another says, “Will you be mine forever?” They might be possessiveness, which is likely to lead to difficulties. Do not use another person as a “thing, or object." Perhaps the best expression is, “I love you simply because of who you are. You are my kind of exceptional person.”

God does not “need” anyone, since He is perfection Himself, as three Persons: Father, Son and Holy Spirit, within One God (It is a great mystery). Almighty God is perfect goodness, is supreme intellect, is absolute power, is perfect love and is merciful. He created us with a soul and body, for His pleasure. He desires us to worship and give Him glory, because we are His greatest creation made in His image. By “image” we mean, He created us with limited intellect, knowledge, willpower, wisdom, free will. and love. He told us to be perfect, which is a goal.

Marriage should never be for materialistic or selfish purposes, or one who marries for security, for companionship, and clearly not for sex alone. God established Holy Marriage between one male and one female person for intimacy, so that two can become one, which may produce delightful children. God created the individual soul and persona before conception and birth occurs, more than one year later. When we agreed to marry in our mid-20s, we both had similar values and principles, although we had somewhat different personas: She was more sensitive and social, and I was conservative and philosophical. Our differences were "complementary." If a couple does not have similar values and principles and opposite personas, in our view, don't get married--it will not last.

Every mentally healthy child (2-5 years old) is typically an extremist. They say “no, no” and “I want it now!” They have love/hate relationships because they emulate others, including their parents’ behavior, and must learn how to behave with peers before they reach five years and beyond. Otherwise, they will certainly be chaotic for their parents to teach and a major problem for society, as they grow into adolescents and adults. Should parents make life easier for their children? Yes, but the child needs to be equipped to face the real challenges of life. Are you teaching them to be dependent? Too much pampering and controlling is not really love.

Finally, what is “love”? There are “Four Kinds of Love,” as written by C. S. Lewis: published in 1960, which explores love from both a Christian and philosophical perspective, employing captivating thought experiments to unravel its essence. 1. Affection (Storge): (pronounced “store-gae”) represents the natural bond that arises from familiarity. It encompasses fondness shared among family members or individuals who relate in familiar ways. For instance, a parent’s love for their child is a prime example, which is natural without coercion. It arises from familiarity, widely diffused and pays little attention to external factors. It is dependency-based, and risks extinction if its needs cease to be met.

2. Friendship (Philia): Which is the most insightful form of love. It is freely chosen and profound. It is least jealous, and free from possessiveness, and rooted in genuine choice.

3. Passionate Love (Eros): embodies romantic love, often intense and passionate. However, Lewis cautions that it can sometimes runs counter to happiness and poses real dangers.

4. Selfless Love (Charity): It is the greatest, most enduring spiritual form of love. It transcends selfishness and mirrors God’s love for us sinners. He suffered and died on the cross to save us all. His self-sacrificing love is the greatest of all loves.

This author and wife, Miriam, have been "sacramentally married" for 62-years, this June. Was these six decades perfect? Absolutely not. We experienced many challenges and also wonderful blessings. Our solution to life's hardships was trust in God (and each other), many, many prayers, and a positive attitude.