Love in the Time of Wi-Fi: The Tragicomedy of University Relationships in Kenya

Ah, love! That timeless, universal force that has inspired poets, artists, and musicians for centuries. But in the hallowed halls of Kenyan universities, love has taken on a form so peculiar, so utterly modern, that even Shakespeare would struggle to comprehend it. Gone are the days of handwritten love letters and stolen glances across lecture halls. Welcome to the era of “slide into my DMs,” “Netflix and chill,” and “relationship goals” that last as long as a TikTok trend. As I observe the current state of relationships among university students in Kenya, I find myself equally amused, horrified, and deeply concerned for the future of this great nation.

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Let us begin with the most obvious casualty of modern university romance: the art of conversation. In a world where emojis have replaced words and “seen at 10:23 PM” is the ultimate betrayal, meaningful communication has gone the way of the dodo. Students no longer court each other with sweet nothings whispered under the stars; instead, they engage in a never ending game of digital cat and mouse. “Why hasn't he replied to my text? Is he ghosting me? Or is he just busy watching football?” These are the existential questions that plague the minds of lovelorn students, often at the expense of their studies. Forget about acing that calculus exam; the real challenge is decoding the hidden meaning behind a heart-eye emoji.

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And then there’s the phenomenon of “situationships.” For the uninitiated, a situationship is a relationship that exists in a state of quantum uncertainty; it is neither here nor there, neither committed nor casual. It is the Schr?dinger's cat of romance, simultaneously alive and dead until you open the box (or, in this case, check their Instagram stories). Situationships are the perfect breeding ground for drama, jealousy, and emotional turmoil, all of which are excellent distractions from the small matter of earning a degree. Why focus on your future career when you can spend hours dissecting the cryptic caption on your crush’s latest post?

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But perhaps the most tragicomic aspect of modern university relationships is the obsession with “relationship goals.” Love has become a performance art in a world where social media reigns supreme. Couples compete to outdo each other with grand gestures, from surprise visits to elaborate gift giving, all meticulously documented for the approval of their online followers. The pressure to maintain the illusion of perfection is immense, and the toll it takes on mental health is no laughing matter. Yet, amidst the chaos, one cannott help but marvel at the creativity on display. Who knew that a proposal involving a drone, a flash mob, and a custom-made cake could be so Instagram-worthy?

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Of course, all this romantic drama has profound implications for students’ academic performance. How can one concentrate on a lecture about macroeconomics when their WhatsApp is blowing up with messages from their “bae”? How can one complete a research paper when they are busy stalking their ex’s new partner on Facebook? The answer, sadly, is that they cannot. The result is a generation of students who are more adept at navigating the complexities of modern romance than they are at mastering their chosen fields of study. And while this may make for entertaining reality TV, it does not bode well for the future of Kenya’s workforce.

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But the consequences of this romantic chaos extend far beyond the university years. These students, who are today’s lovers, will one day be tomorrow’s parents. And if their current approach to relationships is anything to go by, we are in for a wild ride. Imagine a future where family dinners are replaced by group chats, where children learn about love from Instagram influencers, and where the concept of commitment is as outdated as a flip phone. The mind boggles at the thought.

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In this dystopian future, parenting will be a minefield of conflicting advice, from “gentle parenting” to “tiger parenting,” all gleaned from hastily Googled articles and viral TikTok videos. Children will be raised on a diet of fast food and faster internet, their emotional needs met with a combination of screen time and the occasional hug. And when these children grow up and enter their own relationships, the cycle will continue, ad infinitum.

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But let us not despair entirely. For amidst the chaos, there is hope. Hope that these students, with all their flaws and foibles, will one day grow into responsible adults who value love, commitment, and communication. Hope that they will learn from their mistakes and strive to build meaningful, lasting relationships. And hope that, in the end, love will prevail, not the superficial, performative love of social media, but the deep, abiding love that has sustained humanity for millennia.

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In the meantime, let us enjoy the spectacle of university romance in all its absurdity. Let us laugh at the drama, marvel at the creativity, and shake our heads at the sheer audacity of it all. For in the art of life, these are but fleeting moments, soon to be forgotten in the rush of adulthood. And who knows? Perhaps, in the midst of all this chaos, a few true love stories will emerge; stories that will inspire future generations to believe in the power of love, even in the age of Wi-Fi.

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So here’s to the university students of Kenya traversing the treacherous waters of modern romance with all the grace of a drunken sailor. May your relationships be as fleeting as your Wi-Fi connection, and your future be as bright as your Instagram filters. And remember, in the immortal words of Beyoncé, “If you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it.” Or at least a heart emoji!