‘Love thy neighbour as yourself.’

I was a devout Catholic for 50 years and this quote had different meanings for the time.

As a child, I think I probably ignored it.

It was about loving God. And so I did; put him first.

Then as young adult, ‘love your neighbour’ was priority.

Put others first. That is what I understood and that was my career.

While having fun, I would feel guilty about but did it anyway.

Somehow society frowns upon putting yourself first.

There is an expectation you should put others before you.

Love others, ‘I’ did not get a look in.

On an aeroplane they TELL you in the case of an emergency, to put your oxygen mask on first.

WHY? I would put the mask on my children, then think of me.

They are more likely to come to harm.

I came last.

I need to work hard, look after my children, home, my patients.

‘Love thy neighbour’

FINALLY, I UNDERSTAND IT.

Taken 50 years to get there, and learn the hard way.

‘Love thy neighbour as yourself’.

It means self love.

Self- love is important, you cannot love others without looking after yourself.

Others are tyring to show you kindness, but are you receptive?

What are you hearing when they try to speak to you?

Who knows what is going on inside you if you do not tell anyone?

However, it shows up in your behaviour, your words, your tone of voice.

You will get snappy at them and angry for no reason.

At times you find yourself wanting to cry for no reason.

That is what it feels like.

But actually, there is a reason but you do not want to acknowledge it.

I don’t want to face the reasons for the tears, it seems easiest to ignore it & keep going.

But those thoughts and feelings niggle away and will burst out eventually.

Stop and allow those tears out, let the emotions out.

If your daughter came to you with a problem what would you say to her?

She was on the verge of tears, how would you react?

‘Go and do your homework, wash the pots, can you do the ironing?’

I hope not.

So why do it to yourself?

‘Love thy neighbour as thyself’.

Now this quote means self-love to me.

Show myself the same kind of love I do to my family. Or patients.

Do I tell them to clear off and shut the door on them?

So why cannot you show the same amount of love to yourself?

Stop, find those couple of minutes for yourself.

‘Put your oxygen mask on first’; means that you are no good to anyone if you are dead.

People who forget self-love are more likely to turn to the ‘drugs of despair’: alcohol, cigarettes, illicit drugs.

Self-compassion is critical so that you can ‘love your neighbour’.

How want to treat your children? Or your spouse or your parents?

Then treat yourself the same way.

Be kind to yourself.

Say it out loud. Pause, notice what is happening to your body.

Find someone to talk to.

Self-compassion is okay.

Even the holy bible says to love yourself.

Treat yourself how you would behave towards others.

What will you do today to show compassion?

Let's talk, here is the link to my diary: https://zcal.co/elizabeth-rozario/Lets-talk

#dying #ageingparents #bereavement