The Love

Love is one of the most sublime emotions which inspires or motivates to do disinterested things to someone or something. There are thousands of definitions about love, it comes from romantic love, the love of friendship, self-love, true love and so on, but all agree that it is a very difficult concept to describe because it has a complex composition. But we found it in different aspects of life: emotional, attitudes or experiences. However, a common definitions is that this emotion is based on relationship with other person, contributes to create bonds of common interest with our environment and is considered an emotion of universal affection which transforms into behaviors and attitudes disinterested and unconditional towards another person, thing or animal. Perhaps it is the emotion found in almost all actions we do and helps us to develop as people, being indispensable in the adaptation to environment as it is the Love or feeling of a mother to her newborn child, doing a favor to a close friend that you consider important, the feeling of passion or attraction that you have to your couple and thus an infinity of expressions of Love.

As alwalys, we have to identify what is the meaning of Attachment or Attraction with Love, both concepts are closely linked, but they are different. The first is associated with the intense and lasting glue that a person has with another, something or a situation, it is an intense bond that provides protection and security. While the second, Love goes beyond a sensation of getting hooked with other person, place or thing, is predisposed to feel subtle emotions for the benefit of others and the environment.

Apparently almost everything around us can be considered attachment, distinguish it is not so complicated, considering that the feeling of attachment is an impulse or instinctive reaction to not let go of something or someone, just ask yourself: can I live the rest of my life without that object or person physically or without seeing it? Can I stop living quietly without the idea of tormenting me in the memory or longing for those "happy" episodes where I spend important moments in life? Love is the most complex emotion that exists, always in expansion with great potential, "it is the affection that we feel for another person, group, animal, thing or idea." Living love implies actively participating in the active construction of the well-being of the loved one In this sense, love combines tenderness with reason for action (emotion, cognition and behavior). " (Punset, 2015)

An example of differentiation between "Love" and attachment is when two friends fight and do not return to interact for a long time, both suffer the distancing because they have been attached to each other, until the time passes, one of them he realises that the feeling of amical love still persists, he knows that he can live without his close friend, he recognises that it is not his property, that he is open to meeting him again, but it no longer causes him greater discomfort to be separated by the rest of his life, he never forget the feeling or good desire towards the other person and has the position to be always there when the other requires some support or concrete help (has the attitude of wishing the best unconditionally) without expecting anything in return, just for the pleasure of the other person feeling good. Another example is when parents see their children grow up, when they are children and adolescents, attachment is important, for obvious reasons they can not get away from living with them, but as they grow up, they have to understand the importance of giving them freedom and space to "fly by their own wings", until one day the children leave the house to live their own lives alone; for this the parents resign themselves that this attachment has to be controlled, however, they will always continue to support their children for their welfare.

Theories about love can be described in a book as poetry, story or narrative, be a reason to understand how we relate and help explain pleasant or sublime feelings. One of the many known theories about love relationships is that of Robert Sternberg who in 1986, who mentions his "Triangular Theory of Love" about the dynamics of couple relationships, based on three components: intimacy (affection that arises feelings of closeness, affective bond and relationship), passion (intense desire for union with another) and commitment (the decision to love others and stay with them in good times and bad). Being the different stages or types of love explained by the combination of these 3 components:

1. Liking/friendship This type of love is intimacy without passion or commitment. This includes friendships and acquaintances.
2. Infatuated love: Infatuated love is passion without intimacy or commitment. This is considered "puppy love" or relationships that have not become serious yet. Romantic relationships often start out as infatuated love and become romantic love as intimacy develops over time. Without developing intimacy or commitment, infatuated love may disappear suddenly.
3. Empty love is characterized by commitment without intimacy or passion. A stronger love may deteriorate into empty love. In an arranged marriage, the spouses' relationship may begin as empty love and develop into another form, indicating "how empty love need not be the terminal state of a long-term relationship...[but] the beginning rather than the end".
4. Romantic love, This love is passionate and intimate but has no commitment. This could be considered a romantic affair or could be a one-night stand.
5. Companionate love is an intimate, non-passionate type of love that is stronger than friendship because of the element of long-term commitment. "This type of love is observed in long-term marriages where passion is no longer present" but where a deep affection and commitment remain. The love ideally shared between family members is a form of companionate love, as is the love between close friends who have a platonic but strong friendship.
6. Fatuous love can be exemplified by a whirlwind courtship and marriage—it has points of passion and commitment but no intimacy. An example of this is "love at first sight".
7. Consummate love is the complete form of love, representing an ideal relationship which people strive towards. Of the seven varieties of love, consummate love is theorized to be that love associated with the "perfect couple". 

According to Sternberg, these couples will continue to have great sex fifteen years or more into the relationship, they cannot imagine themselves happier over the long-term with anyone else, they overcome their few difficulties gracefully, and each delight in the relationship with one other. However, Sternberg cautions that maintaining a consummate love may be even harder than achieving it. He stresses the importance of translating the components of love into action. "Without expression," he warns, "even the greatest of loves can die." Thus, consummate love may not be permanent.[citation needed] If passion is lost over time, it may change into companionate love. Consummate love is the most satisfying kind of adult relation because it combines all pieces of the triangle into this one type of love. It is the ideal kind of relationship. These kinds of relationships can be found over long periods of time or idealistic relationships found in movies.

In Greek literature you can also find other types of Love such as: Eros refers to erotic love, it is passionate love. Agape is an ideal type of love, pure love, charitable, altruistic and unconditional. It can be the love of parents. And Filia refers to a virtuous, dispassionate love. It is the love we show to friends, family and our environment in general.

Within the universe of emotions, Love is opposed to the emotion of Anger, it contains almost the same amount of energy expressed to perform activities but in a positive and expansive way, it promotes the expression of attitudes, emotions and behaviors in favor of the welfare towards another person or society with enough intensity. In addition, Love is closely related to happiness and joy, with the latter it drives the person to perform great actions "Love and joy are two wings for great actions" (Goethe).

The second level emotions that gravitate in this galaxy are:

• Self-esteem, is the appreciation or consideration you have of yourself, related to love.
• Affection, inclination of affection towards someone or something.  
• Kindness, is an act that shows courtesy, complacency and affection towards others.
• Care, moderate expression of love towards a person or animal, that your company is desired.
• Tenderness, delicate feeling of sweetness towards people, things or situations.
• Amorousness, be a positive assessment towards a person by its characteristics.
• Respect, related to the consideration or compliance that is made to someone to not cause any offense or injury.
• Desire, impulse that you want to get or do something.
• Acceptance, action and effect of approving something as good or valid voluntarily and without opposition.
• Compassion, feeling of identification with the suffering of a person, related to sadness, tenderness and empathy.
• Interest, affinity and tendency towards another person, thing or situation.
• Gratitude, feeling caused by the estimation of a favor or benefit that someone has granted, associated with the quality of being pleasant and grateful.
• Solidarity, is the attitude of carrying out generous and well-intentioned actions.
• Cordiality, denotes the characteristic of simplicity, kindness and kindness to express affection and affection.
• Sympathy, intense feeling of affection towards a person, their attitudes or behaviors.
• Empathy, feeling of understanding the emotional universe of another person.
• Confidence - Trust, is the security and hope you have towards someone or something.

Other related third and fourth level emotions are: bond attachment, addiction, fall in love, fascination, workship, devotion, veneration, fervour, attraction, caprice, esgerness, yearning, whim, craving, affinity, affiliation, self- aceptance, forgivenes, curiosity, appreciation, agape, invulnerability, sensitivity, rapport, self- respect, self- confidence, esteem, gentle, heart-warming, warmth, passionate, charm, crush, enchant, loyalty, allowing, consideration, close, want, impulse, recognition, preference, predilection, mercy, piety, friendliness, engrossed, attentive, absorbed, involved, wish, filantrophy, thankful, sweetness, charity, gratefull, altruism and friendship. 

 The color associated with this emotion is the rose that symbolizes tenderness, charm, fragility, affection, enthusiasm and romanticism.

Love is an emotion with a high impact in promoting positive behaviors towards other people, situations or things, stimulating a series of well-intentioned emotions and activities towards others. The feeling of Love allows us to adapt easily to the environment and enjoy other types of experiences, being highly profitable for the market. An amount of energy is used to produce a result without the feeling of wear, doing several things without feeling tired.

Suppose a baker is making a cake to share with his friends in a meeting, this person performs the action with pleasure and love because he wants his friends to enjoy the cake as a way of gratitude, affection, kindness and solidarity. After everyone ate the cake, many of the friends commented with other acquaintances on how good the cake was, advertising the baker, selling about 30 similar cakes to other people. In these cases there is an expenditure of disinterested energy towards a person, enjoying the process of production or action, but which directly affects the pleasant benefits not yet perceived.

We see that each cake costs about 120 soles and the person had a production cost of 70 soles, discounting the cost of materials, utilities (electricity, water, mixer, oven, etc.) and labor of 50 soles and subtracted 20 soles destined to their abilities and the emotional cost, being the emotional cost 50%, which is equivalent to 10 soles at the total cost of their emotions. For this, the baker mentioned feeling about 15 emotions between positive and negative with degrees of intensity 3 and 2, feeling the emotion of Love is the most significant in degree of intensity 4 over 5 (ratio of Love = 5.85). Now isolating the cost of love equals 4.9 soles, almost 50% of the total emotional cost.

In the example it is observed that the person invested 4.9 soles (of the cost of Love) but had as profit 1647 soles of the sales of the 30 cakes. Although the cost of love is small, the profitability is very high, because not only can increase the sales of cakes, but also motivate other activities such as free advertising, the relationship with other people who promote their brand (a interview or publication on the cakes), among others.

My advice is not to underestimate the potential of the emotion of Love, because its impacts are high in the medium and long term "give and take", but the key is not to focus on long-term benefits term, is feeling the emotion in the moment.