Love Over Fear

I got a message from a daughter, she wrote to tell me she couldn’t get herself to sign the papers of parole for her father. She messaged to say she was feeling guilty of that decision. She loved her father, but she also feared legal repercussions for herself if her father were to not comply with the parole terms. Between that message and a very short time exists a window - within which if she has to change her mind, she must act with congruence. What would you do in that situation?

Would you ask her to trust her instincts to not sign the papers or would you guilt trip her to sign the papers because it is her father… or is there a third way, a method to evoke her unconscious fears, biases and help her sort them out in a way she comes to a conclusion with oneness of heart? I know it is possible, because that is exactly what she achieved within 3 short texts.?

Gunjan came to me two years earlier, because she was stuck at a particular stage in her business that she just couldn’t get past it for years. There was ONE big strategic jump she wanted to make in her business that would allow her business to not be dependent on middlemen. She knew it was going to set her up for scale. But the way she was approaching it, she knew it was going to take decades.?

Gunjan comes from a business family. She had a very polite personality, she was soft, but you can clearly see in her face that she was a very intuitive person. And something within her told her that she was going to fail if she tried to make that pivotal shift. She felt that she was ready except for the fear that was holding her back. I asked her - What if the fear was not actually a fear, but an intuition? We diagnosed some of the personal transformations that she requires to succeed in her business, helped her achieve those innate capabilities and finally worked on her strategies and within a few months, she made the pivotal big jump in her business and it almost tripled her profits. But looking back, she recognises that without all that transformation and the strategies she developed, it would have been a disaster to have made that jump. And that is why she was holding back and it wasn’t just fear.

What happened with her business, only adds to the fact that she is a very intuitive person. And that’s a good thing. Yet if she is still doubtful for her own father’s parole, I know I had to respect that feeling. And at the same time, I know she loved her father, everytime she spoke about her father, her eyes welled up with tears. But, I had a few things to my advantage, to make the right decisions in a short time of urgency. She literally had to act in that very hour or she could miss her chances and the window for accepting the parole would close. First and foremost, she has already felt my impact, from turning around her marriage to growing her business, so I don’t have to be in person or on the phone to get my message to her. The relationship we already have makes it sufficient to help her with just messages. And such leverage is very important when dealing with emergencies, because otherwise you will have to make choices to let go of something else to help someone in an emergency.?

99% of the suggestions that I have refrained from giving people, even when I know I can help them - is when I know that I don’t have enough time to ‘tell them why’ I am saying what I am saying. My consultation slots have been for 40 minutes. And most times, it takes 5 minutes to come to the problem and the solution. And all of the remaining time goes in packaging it in a way the person gets it. I didn’t have this challenge with Gunjan. So I got straight to work with her. And very quickly, she came to the conclusion that her father had made an error of judgement when it came to finances and that he was not a criminal.?

I don’t believe that she didn’t know that in heart, but at that moment she couldn’t feel it. And that’s the power of fear. It can fog even the simplest of truths and keep you from noticing the things that actually matter. Not only did she get congruence on the fact that her father was not a criminal, she managed to set up an arrangement with her lawyer that guarantees her safety if her father were to violate the terms of the parole. The solution was always there, I am pretty sure, a week later Gunjan would have come to all of the above conclusions by her own accord, but there are always moments in life, when what you do in that HOUR matters, and in her case she had to learn to win over her fear to exercise the LOVE she had for her father. The specific method I used in this case for her to overcome the fear is to help Gunjan communicate with the unconscious mind - to respect the intention of both the conflicting inner thoughts. And to come up with a solution that satisfies that intention of both. The analogy is of two horses in a chariot that want to go to the same destination, but each of the horses wants to take a different route and they are kind of tearing the chariot apart.?

The unconscious mind is extremely powerful, but only when there is congruence. And a same person can have two or more conflicting directions in the same situation. If you know how to clean up your communication channels with your unconscious mind, like Gunjan had learnt when she met me two years ago, you can resolve these conflicts. The difficulty in this approach is to accurately identify the two conflicting thoughts - that was the first part of my communication with her. And once you have identified them, i.e. the two conflicting decisions, the magic question to ask is - what are some of the ways in which both the intentions can be satisfied? And while being in a high performance zen-like state while asking this question can help you with conscious clarity, if you can set-it up so that your unconscious mind goes on an auto-pilot to find a variety of solutions to satisfy the intentions of both the decisions, then you will surprise yourself with the actions you take spontaneously, in achieving both the outcomes that you thought were conflicting to each other.?

So this is the story of Gunjun in overcoming her fear of ‘being arrested’ if her father did something unlawful after being released on parole and taking the decision that she will love for the rest of her life in the moment when it mattered. Because many things in life have moments, within which things have to happen or they never do. While everyone can make good decisions when the moment has passed, Gunjan learnt to get congruence ON TIME and saved herself from a lifetime of guilt. The other thing that I can relate from this story is the fact that there are always people who can help you, if you allow them to help you fast enough. On the day when Gunjan messaged me, I was driving to church, and in my car, I was doing the post-covid patterns, for coming back to optimal energy for my mom, and all I had was the time between signals. And by the time I reached church, the work I had to do with Gunjan was complete. And after the service, it was delightful to see that the work produced good fruits she had put to use. Now, this sets a loop between us, allowing me to put that extra. I didn’t owe Gunjan this consultation, I don’t see clients except on fixed schedules, that happens in batches twice a year. And around you will be people who don’t owe you something, but you make it so easy to help you, that they put in that extra for you. I recently had an investor from California fly down to my place, and he said - his agenda was to help our business. He helped me identify two key positions that I urgently required. This is just one example of how people will go out of their way to help you, but you have to make it easy for them. In another article, I will share some of the unconscious patterns and superior capabilities that make this natural and easy. Please share if you liked the article.?

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