For the Love of Money

Let's talk about money, wealth, capital, economic power...

I've had money baggage for as long as I can remember.

I was raised in a fundie evangelical home with some pretty heavy-duty teachings about money here are two that stuck with me the hardest.

??It's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to get into heaven

??The love of money is the root of all evil

Now, as an unidentified autistic kid with a tendancy to take things literally...that's a rough start to life.

I had a chance to earn an allowance of $0.25 or $0.50 doing chores around the house and while my parents tried their hardest to teach me accounting (for instance: 25 cents was split into 5 cents to God, 5 cents to savings, 5 cents to gifts, 5 cents to spending, 5 cents to needs) it never stuck for me.

I grew up so scared of accidentally loving money and going to hell, I developed an aversion to it.

I started a babysitting business at 13 in my neighborhood and instead of charging a set price, I let the families decide what it was worth to them. I thought this would protect me from the sin of wanting money.

For me, a kid who took everything they were taught about the bible and god as 100% literal, I lived in a constant state of being terrified of accidentally doing something that would send me to hell. (Oh hi complex PTSD!)

My parents were also committed to teaching me about personal responsibility with money, and so anything I wanted to do I needed to pay for it myself--movies with friends, gas in the car, new outfit for the school year, gifts for friends and loved ones--all up to me.

As I grew up, the teachings about money I received in childhood steered me toward work that was mission oriented and paid very little (hello non-profit industrial complex). I was taught that god provides abundantly for everyone who trusts in him, so I didn't give a single thought to what kind of salary would provide for me, what kind of career would set me up to live the life I wanted (heck, at that time, my life wasn't even about what I wanted but what I felt god was calling me to do), and most definitely did not put any coins into any kind of retirement funds or 401k...because god had my back, right? I don't need to worry about that!

Well...about 14 years ago, after a number of years of slow decay, I raized my faith and everything with it to the ground and broke up with religion.

Then began the process of healing from the trauma of my religious upbringing and deconstructing from the beliefs of it. This is not a fast or easy or pain-free process--those of you who have done it know.

And even as I got more and more liberated from the beliefs I was trained in from infancy, I still struggled with my relationship with money and how that fits with a life driven by working for justice.

There's a lot more story between there and where I am now and I'll share more on that another time.

Where am I now in my relationship with money?

• I see money as a partner in the things I want to accomplish
• Money is morally neutral
• Money does not have power over me, money can provide economic power to accomplish things
• Money is an accomplice in the world-changing things I want to do
• Money doesn't make people evil or corrupt--those parts are already in them and money amplifies what is in us
• Money is a necessary tool of change in our current society
• I am allowed to desire wealth and work toward building it
• I am allowed to want easeful, cushy things for myself AND ALSO to invest in and fund revolutions
• People deserve to be paid a thriving wage for the work they do. All people. Doing any job.

I am looking for 5 people who want to heal their relationship with money to join me on an intimate, small group coaching transformation journey. Send me a private message if you're ready to invest in your liberation!