Love may be a remedy for fear and stress in the workplace

By Julie Maltby

Toxic workplaces are the fifth-leading cause of death in the U.S., according to Stanford University professor Jeffrey Pfeffer, author of Dying for a Paycheck. Some Canadian workplaces have similar stressors.

Lorie Corcuera, co-founder and CEO of SPARK Creations, shared this finding and other compelling research in a presentation at the recent Human Resources Professionals Association conference in Toronto. “We take workplace unhappiness home with us. Even if we’re putting on a good face and saying, ‘everything’s fine,’ we’re still passing on the energy to our kids and they don’t know what to do with it.”

Of course, if you are unhappy at work, it does not mean you work in a toxic environment – and Corcuera is not advocating for office romance as the solution to discontent. She is committed to replacing stress with love to improve mental health in the workplace. Based on scientific studies, she and her team have brought love to many workplaces, including McDonald’s and Expedia.

Corcuera is not advocating for office romance as the solution to discontent.

Corcuera began her presentation titled, “Humanizing cultures: the power of love and compassion in the workplace,” by saying research shows most workplace cultures are fear-based – and the opposite of fear is love.

So, what does love at work look like?

“Love comes with connection, intimacy, caring, having a full heart, getting undivided attention, contentment and feeling joyful,” said Corcuera. Why would such positive feelings and behaviours be discouraged in the workplace? In a word, fear.

Corcuera identified the following reasons leaders might be afraid of a more loving workplace:

• Love is equated with intimacy that leads to office romances
• Love and objectivity are seen as mutually exclusive
• Love gone wrong can lead to conflict
• To love a colleague isn’t professional

The science behind love and stress

When we experience human connection, we emit Oxytocin, known as the love hormone. “You can’t replicate it in a digital form. Nothing replaces oxytocin. The love hormone is associated with empathy, trust, bonding, connection and relationship-building,” said Corcuera.

Cortisol is the stress hormone released by humans during the fight or flight response. It protects us when we feel threatened, but Corcuera reported that too much stress can:

• Interfere with learning and memory
• Lower immune function and bone density
• Increase the risk for depression, mental illness and lower life expectancy
• Decrease resilience

“We have higher reported incidents of mental illness than ever before because people feel unsafe in the workplace – not because of physical threats, but cortisol is released when we’re afraid of anything. This also impacts relationships at work because when cortisol is released, there’s no empathy – we can’t release oxytocin at the same time as cortisol,” Corcuera said.

Tips to share more love at work

1. Listen – without distractions or assumptions and without planning what you are going to say next.
2. Show empathy. “Assume the best about the person’s intentions if they’re not behaving well. Maybe they’re just having a bad day; their behavior or words aren’t probably intended to be nasty,” Corcuera said.
3. Ask someone who appears to be distressed if you can help. Show compassion.
4. Forgive.
5. Create a safe space. Do this by being vulnerable yourself.
6. Get to know your colleagues and care about what matters to them.

Corcuera ended the session by telling the captivated audience that loving others begins with loving ourselves. “Loving myself means accepting that this is who I am and this is what I love about myself. Self-love makes you confident and attractive. Then others want to have what you have.”

Special thanks to Julie for writing this article!

Originally posted in Great West Life's Centre for Mental Health in the Workplace on February 14, 2019.

We will be sharing this workshop at the 2019 WorkHuman Conference in Nashville on March 20, 2019!

Share in the comments below and connect with me today!

For additional reading, here are some other posts from Lorie:

• Why Asking for Help Makes You a Stronger Leader
• Eliminate the Word "Weakness" to Build a Stronger Team
• Are You an "Earn My Trust" Leader?
• What Saying NO Really Means
• Stop Recruiting and Start Connecting
• Shed Your Armor and Reap the Rewards
• If You’re a Leader, You’re Under a Microscope!
• 5 Strategies to Integrate Your Values at Work
• Are you a WOW Leader?
• Are you ready to #dreambig?
• It's Time to Bring the "Human" Back Into "Human Resources"
• It’s Time to Mix Personal with Business
• Are you qualified to be in HR?
• The Most Important Skills Today’s Leaders Need to Know
• The Power of Leadership Presence in the Workplace
• 6 Elements of an Ideal Culture
• How to Trust Again After You’ve Lost It
• Can Frequent Conversations Really Replace Annual Reviews?
• The “Real” Job of HR
• Why GoPro is Living a BIG LIFE
• The Five Benefits of Being Imperfect
• I have an announcement. I’m engaged!
• The One Thing To Do Before the End of 2015
• I have a confession to make.
• Start the New Year with this!
• It’s Okay to Love in the Workplace
• Is mindfulness just nonsense?
• 3 Daily Practices for Mindful Teams
• The Disadvantage of Being Too Caring
• Why We Hate Love (in the workplace)
• The Real ROI of Informal and Social Learning
• Bringing Values-Based Learning to Life (at Work)
• The New Kind of CEO HR Leaders Want
• DIY Management: 5 ways to build an effective startup culture
• Digital Detoxing in a 24/7 World: Disconnect to Connect
• Stand Out and Be Bold
• The Culture Code: Six Keys (and Four Steps) to Hidden Treasure
• A Love Letter for our SPARK Community
• The Importance (and Profitability) of Staying Human
• The ROI of Leading by Example is Priceless

About Lorie:

Lorie Corcuera is the Co-Founder and CEO at SPARK Creations & Company Inc., a training and development organization that inspires people and companies to create meaningful cultures and workplaces. Lorie is partnering with conscious, purpose-driven businesses who are ready to ignite their cultures and create purpose through creating and inspiring loving human connections at work and at home.