Love and Lust. For clarity, compare these two ....

“Nobody feels a need to have sex with someone whom they do not find physically attractive” versus “Nobody can form a lasting emotional bond of respect, caring, and adoration, towards someone with whom they did not automatically want to have sez from the first moment they met”.

You do not love the beautiful women you are interested in having sex with. You likely have never experienced love.

While desire is also a powerful force that can greatly impact mental thought processes and affect emotional reactions, they are not the same thing, and an approach to win a mate can be successful based on either - albeit love is an infinitely much more lengthy and involved process, and thus relatively ‘risky’, far as strategy to find and keep a mate with whom to procreate goes.

An approach initiated out of physical attraction can also morph into something deeper more easily than the other way around..

Yes. Particularly at the beginning of a relationship. Sex is a huge reason for almost everything, and it will always win in the end. Ignoring the importance of sex in our lives is naive and, in extreme cases, can destroy lives (think of how many anti-gay politicians get caught in scandals because they couldn’t ignore their natural urges any longer).

Part of romantic love is physical attraction. Now, as looks start to fade, what often maintains the relationship is respect, affection, fondness… all the more dignified but less touchy touchy feelings.

A relationship where you aren’t attracted to your partner is just a friendship.

 Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate. 

Thank you …An example of something based on lust is this:

I am physically attracted to this person. Knowledge of their personality and interests will help me present myself as a suitable mate to them, therefore I want to get to know them.

The development of an emotional bond is relevant because it is the road to repeatedly coupling with them, and easy access to sex with someone whom I find attractive is something that I want in my life..

If I lost this person, I would be able to repeat this process with another; I find many people physically attractive, and a person’s personality is merely something that takes time and effort to learn.. 

An example of something based on love is this.

 .

I get along really well with this person. I like their personality, and have shared interests .....with them. Their opinions feel more relevant than the opinions of anybody else, to me. I have become emotionally bonded to who they are; their thoughts and feelings are important to me.

 I want to be close to them.

I want to spend my life with them.

 I want to help them succeed at the challenges they face in their life.

 I want to see them happy.

 I want them to feel good.

 I want to see them strong and proud and free.

 The world is brighter and better with them in it, and I want them to be able to see that, too. This person fundamentally should exist. If I saw parts of them in my children, I would adore them for that alone already.

Want to add word or two?

Physical chemistry is probably the most common way people find each other. It’s normal and healthy to have a physical attraction to someone else. It’s the initial magnet that draws you closer to see if they are someone you want to spend more time with. Physical attraction just happens without even thinking about it, and then other factors – such as personality, shared goals, etc. – get added to the selection process.

However, it doesn’t always have to happen in that order. I can’t count how many romantic movie scripts have flipped around the “love at first sight” narrative to show how two unlikely people form a friendship and eventually become romantically attracted to each other. There are lots of ways to form a romantic bond with someone. Please don’t get hung up on the order of how things develop.

Your comment ….? 

If I lost this person, I do not know if I could develop a bond like this with someone else ever again; the new person would not be them. I may find many people physically attractive, but none of them are you. Losing you would cripple me. There would be a you-shaped hole that nobody else could fill.

People who had the good fortune to find love quite rightfully point out that falling in love is not simply about sexual attraction, and does not require someone to be above-averagely physically attractive.

 They are not lying. As a matter of fact, being in love with someone actually tends to make you find them more pleasing to the eye by default. Someone’s crooked nose and overlarge ears are simply uninteresting when you’re fixated on the way they light up in a smile when they see you.

On another sidenote, the above is also an unfortunate example of why mirroring the other person’s interests in an attempt to get them into bed tends to hook so effectively into people who are sincerely looking for ‘true love’… and why the combination can leave a person so deeply hurt, and so lastingly jaded.

Be careful to whom you offer your heart - or what you with one being offered to you.