My affair with Kolkata is now a full-blown relationship!

What! Kolkata! Why?!

Three years ago, this is how almost everyone reacted to my decision to move to Kolkata. What followed after breaking this news is nothing sort of a jatra (Bengali folk theatre). The common refrain was: “You don’t leave a city like Pune…it has the charm of a small city with all the trappings of a metropolis and an excellent weather to boot. One can still understand if you are moving to Delhi or Mumbai.” Friends threw their hands in desperation; the reactions ranged from opened mouth to teary eyes to a big smile (obviously from the adversaries who were secretly happy at my foolhardiness to plunge into the Bay of Bengal). My family thought it was all because of the excessive influence of my wife and my Kolkata-based in-laws. Their prognosis spanned Bangali jadoo tona (black magic) to mid-life crisis; my uncle thought it was all for the fish, little realizing that I am allergic to fish and sea food. To add to my dilemma, the wife, a Kolkata girl herself, showed least enthusiasm or optimism. In fact, she kept on harping about the killing humidity, lack of career opportunities, poor infrastructure and so and on so forth. 

Of all people, my father had the most stoical stance. On being quizzed, he reminisced what was foretold by some astrologers long, long ago that I would marry a girl from the East and live a great part of my life in the East. Back then, they did not give any importance to the prediction - why on the earth would a Punjabi Sikh munda (boy) - raised in the north look eastwards? Never! However, so it turns out, life had different plans. Seven years ago, when I told them about my decision to marry a Hindu girl from Kolkata with North Indian roots, what was foretold decades ago came to them as a filmy flash back. After much resistance to my decision to marry outside the Sikh community, they gave in, consoling themselves that one can’t fight destiny. 

And then my decision to move eastwards and stay with my in-laws…My father reconciled to this almost immediately though the rest of the family took a while. He saw my move as the universe conspiring to give one what truly wants! I always wanted to be a ghar jamai (resident son-in-law) ever since I can remember and would say so in my childlike innocence every time someone asked me what I wanted to do in life. My response would let loose guffaws and cause much embarrassment to my parents. I either laughed or went quiet depending on my audience’s reaction. 

Now, let me share with you my reasons for wanting to come to Kolkata. I grew up in a household, where one was expected to either get into medical sciences, law or business. Literature and films were actually seen as a waste of enterprise and a lazy man’s recourse. Being an oddball and an innate dreamer (I like to think of myself as a thinker of sorts though), I spent more time reading literature than solving math problems. My abiding interest in literature and films were not just frowned upon but also invited 'no-dinner-tonight' or 'we-are-not-taking -you-to-the-circus' punishments. However, I never gave up. I would smuggle books and read them, aided by a torch light, late in the night when the whole house would be sleeping. Some of the best times were when my parents were out of town. It meant I could indulge in movies marathon. In fact, my obsession with the forbidden fruit only grew with passing time and also my desire to live in a place which celebrates the arts & culture. Thus, Paris became my dream city to live in and Kolkata – home to the many greats including Rabindranath Tagore, Satyajit Ray, and Amartya Sen - came a close second. 

My wife finds the comparison or even the mention of the cities in the same breath bizarre. She feels the city of joy is no longer the same. It is in the cusp of a terrible change – a change that does not preserve its past well or make the present/future forward-looking. 

Thankfully, I do not have any past reference to feel cynical. Sometimes it’s good not to have a memory or a past. So, here I am soaking in the awesomeness of the city, culture, cuisine, the countryside and the recently concluded mother of all festivals - Durga Puja. 

Even as I write, my family back in Saharanpur is perplexed over why I would chose to spend my Sunday evening at Rabindra Tirtha -when I do not follow Bengali well - over watching a movie at a multiplex. They would have known had they lived here even if for a short duration.

Shubho Bijoya!

#Kolkata #cities #relocation #culture #DurgaPuja #people #arts #Punjabi #Sikh #Bengali