...with love, from your black colleague and friend.

“You have to be twice as good – and work twice as hard – to get half as far” is a mantra that Black parents have recited to their children for generations. A testament to the universality and the powerful connectedness that comes with the Black experience.

It wasn’t until I was a fully-grown Black women working in corporate America that I realized this age-old adage has shaped nearly everything about who I am. It’s an undercurrent in my everyday actions and decision making. The reality is, I am fearful if I make a misstep or if I am off my game, that I am letting my people down by reinforcing assumptions, biases, and stereotypes our White colleagues, leaders, and friends may think about us – Black and Brown people.

• “Is my hair too ethnic?” I wonder if I am wearing it in its natural curly state…
• “Is my attire distracting, eccentric, loud?” I ask myself when getting dressed for work, especially on casual Fridays…
• "If I don't say 'yes' to, or volunteer for this assignment, will they think I'm lazy?" I often worry...
• “Am I speaking articulately?” “Does my passion come across as aggressive?” I think when I am the only black person in a meeting or on the team (and often the only woman too).
• “Are they wondering if I got here on my own merits?”
• “Are they asking me to speak because they wanted to add 'diversity' to the panel or do they really value my input?”
• “Am I making Black people look good?”
• “Am I being too Black?”
• "Wait, am I overthinking all of this?..."

These are just some of my regular thoughts when engaging in the professional world. And I'm one of the lucky ones. I too am privileged – a daughter of well-educated, successful Black immigrant parents. I grew up in a diverse community, live in a progressive city, and I work at a great firm with colleagues who treat me with the utmost respect.

Over the past few days some White colleagues and friends have reached out to talk with me about the effects of racism, White supremacy, and inequality in this country, and in the workplace. And, yes, some have said the wrong thing like, "but you're different than those Black people", “I don’t see color”, "some of my best friends are Black", “I don’t see you any different from me or so-and-so”, “but wait, are you even fully Black?”. As much as I’d like to, I don’t shut down the dialogue because I have just as much a role to play in this change as Black America is asking White America to take-up.

Frankly, I would prefer you talk about it, ask us about our experiences, our fears, our ideas for progress. Ask me. But only engage if you’re ready to do it with an open mind and heart. It’s okay if you say the wrong things at first, if you learn and grow from it. I would rather you try to engage than stay silent and act like things are business as usual. Because for us, it isn’t.

I worry about my Black husband, father, cousins, uncles, and friends. They could very well be the next Ahmad Aubrey, George Floyd, or Breaonna Taylor, finding themselves on the wrong side of a cop's knee or bullet. One day, I hope to have beautiful Black children. And when that time comes, I’ll worry about them too.

It’s not just the Black men and women – the human beings – you see on the news stories being discriminated against, racially profiled, systematically oppressed, victims of excessive police force and brutality, and killed publicly in the streets that are impacted by the direct and indirect consequences of racism, and the economic and political systems designed to sustain the inequality of Black people in America. It’s your favorite colleagues noticing when an uncomfortable White person clearly moves away from them or clutches their belongings when they're passing by. It's your neighbors who have been followed and questioned about if they belong when taking a casual stroll around their block. It's your kids’ teammates and his or her parents who are stopped by the police for no other reason than DWB (driving while black). And it's the people they love and care about who are impacted by this.

To White (and non-Black) colleagues and friends. If you don’t know where to start, start by educating yourself about the history and experience of Black people in this country. Start by learning about Whiteness and White Supremacy. I’ve linked several resources for you to consider at the end of this article. Once you have taken that critical first step, engage in conversation with your Black coworkers, neighbors, and friends – respectfully and in appropriate spaces. Have conversations with your family, your children, White colleagues, and friends – challenge one another and hold each other accountable. Become an active ally. Listen to the people who are desperate for America to see, hear, and understand them. Demand they get the same type of treatment and understanding that you would demand for your own children.

To CEOs, company presidents, and leaders. I urge you to speak from the heart on this topic (sure, with some guidance and coaching, if you need it). We don’t want to hear from your diversity and inclusion manager, we want to hear from you, directly. Don't ask your Black leaders and colleagues to create or facilitate your solutions. Ask for their input – but YOU take the lead. Take ownership of your own, and your organization's response to historical and systemic racism issues that are boiling over in this country. Be aware of how these issues represents itself in the workplace. It is important that your Black and Brown colleagues and employees know you recognize these issues and are actively doing something about it. Make it explicitly clear where you and your organization stand on the matter. Do it even if it makes some of your White colleagues, customers, employees, stakeholders, and even you, uncomfortable. I’ve seen many brands and companies speak out in recent days. I’m grateful for their leadership. If yours hasn’t - why not? Yes, it’s late, but you still can. And we don’t just mean internal company emails, we mean a public proclamation of your stance on these issues and how you plan to address it in your organization and in the world.

Where are you donating? How are you building a pipeline of Black and Brown leaders for your organization? What does your most senior leadership look like today? There are more than enough talented, highly qualified black professionals to have black leaders and black executives at any company in any industry. Black talent is plentiful. In order for racism and its effects in society and the workplace to get better, allies are absolutely critical. Especially White allies. Especially allies in positions of power. Please speak-up and take action, because your involvement, leadership, and voices matter now more than ever.

And finally, to my Black colleagues and friends. I know you're tired. We are tired of the blatant disregard for Black life. We are tired of trying to be twice as good and work twice as hard. We're tired of trying to be perfect to "earn our keep" in our workplaces unconsciously trying to change conscious and unconscious biases. I know that this time, it feels like we are going to break into pieces. I know it's hard to go to work this week and show up like things are business as usual. Even so, please don’t let despair overcome you or let anger, hate, and sadness fester in your heart making you hard and numb. We have plenty of work to do. The road ahead is not going to be easy. We need to have hard and uncomfortable conversations with each other, and with our White colleagues and friends too. We need to engage with empathy and do our part to help our allies understand our experiences and support them in engaging in meaningful ways. Most importantly, we have to create a better way and world for future generations of Black and Brown Americans.

It’s time. It's possible. We can do it. Let's get to work.

Resources:

• bit.ly/ANTIRACISMRESOURCES
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrHIQIO_bdQ
• https://www.talentinnovation.org/_private/assets/BeingBlack-KeyFindings-CTI.pdf
• https://ready.web.unc.edu/section-1-foundations/module-2-history-of-race-and-racism/
• https://www.npr.org/2020/05/31/866426170/raising-white-kids-author-on-how-white-parents-can-talk-about-race
• https://www.pnas.org/content/pnas/116/34/16793.full.pdf
• https://hbr.org/2020/06/u-s-businesses-must-take-meaningful-action-against-racism
• https://hbr.org/2002/11/dear-white-boss