Love and Freedom
A warm welcome to the weekend. Let's talk about love!
If you’ve ever fallen madly in love and felt that you couldn’t possibly live without that special someone, you’ll know how incredibly powerful these experiences can be. But it’s rarely a bed of roses because it’s inevitable that at some point we’re going to experience the pain of a broken heart. Sometimes on more than one occasion! But why do these episodes leave such a deep impression on our hearts? Why do we react to the pain of rejection by developing impenetrable layers of defence to protect ourselves from being hurt again?
Rejection and a break-up are two of life’s most uncomfortable experiences. It’s only natural that we’d take steps to minimise possible pain in any future relationships. Often, this means keeping people at a safe distance, even when we form seemingly close bonds. Sadly, it’s possible to live with someone for years without ever letting them into our hearts. I know. It seems like such a waste. There’s also the possibility of trying to reduce the chances of a break-up by seeking ways to possess the other person, to tie them so closely to our sides that it becomes almost impossible for them to leave. This of course is not love. Hiding behind layers of defensive emotional barriers and holding someone hostage to our fears can never be described as love. In fact, deep in our hearts, we all know that this kind of behaviour is destructive for all parties involved. Yet, the ancient philosophers taught that when our happiness depends on someone else, we surrender our freedom, peace and stability. We exchange our happiness for the whims of someone who may well one day leave us.
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An independent inner peace and a sense of happiness that flows from within us help us to withstand the fears of separation or rejection. We can learn to be more open in our relationships because we have less to fear. We can welcome someone into our hearts because we do not surrender the keys to our happiness.
Rejection may still happen and it will inevitably be painful but it doesn’t damage us or cause us to raise insurmountable barriers to future relationships. This is a much healthier, happier and more fulfilling way to experience the power of love in our lives. And your closest relationships will appreciate it too.