Love & Fear.

I’ve always preferred a hot-rod to a production model, a chopper to a motorcycle.

I like to trim the fat, cut to the chase. I like it lean. So here is a stripped-down precis of some of the wisdom received at the driving wheel of DEATH?.

Five illusions to puncture every day and the antidote to 'Fear'.

1.    The illusion that ‘There is not Enough’.

There is not enough money. There is not enough time. There is not enough distribution. There are not enough clients. There is not enough (add anything you want in these brackets).

Truth is, there is always enough and there always has been.

The proof is self-evident; I am writing this article today. If there ever really wasn’t enough, I just wouldn’t be here now. I’d be bust. I’d be dead. When we choose to share, pull in a common direction, work together, then there is all ways enough. I’ve noticed during my moments lost in ‘scarcity’, other people have always shown up to pull me through.

2.    The illusion that ‘More is Better’.

This illusion is a consequence of the first. If ‘there us not enough’ then it stands to reason that ‘more is better’.

It’s not. The push for more drives me to over-work, over-consume, over-spend, over-eat, always thinking I still need more. It’s just not true.

Less is more. Simple is beautiful. Enough is enough.

3.    The illusion that ‘That’s just the way it is’.

Things are never as they seem. It never is just the way it is. Everything can change and everything changes. And we are architects of that change, the authors of our own creation.

I am the Writer, Producer, Director and Lead Actor in my own Movie. If I see shit, it’s my shit. I made it. And if I see beauty, it’s my beauty. I made it all.

And so I have learnt to be careful what I wish for. Goethe said, “At the moment of commitment the entire universe conspires to assist you.” It’s true. The universe does provide, even down to financial assistance, but only when we are willing to fully engage with the ride. She don’t give it up easy. She will grind our noses along the bottom of the J-curve. She will slam us down on the beach of our own choosing and that beach will be worth exploring.

So own the all of it. The triumph and the disaster. Especially the disaster. The problems, the disasters, they are the finest gifts. I don't remember my successes. I treasure my failures. When I find myself with a shitload of problems in my life, or in my business, I try to remember that I am truly blessed by those problems. That I chose them. They are 'my' problems. The universe is kissing me with those problems, showering me with numerous opportunities to change. Problems and disasters are daemons; angels disguised as demons offering me the salvation of positive change.

4.    The illusion of ‘Money’.

Currency derives from the Latin ‘currens’, present participle of currere "to run". Currency is a medium of exchange, it expresses the idea of flow from person to person. Currency is money. So money is not a ‘thing’, it’s not a number.

Money is flow.

It doesn’t matter how much money we have, what matters is why and where we choose to flow it. There is no value in a dead pond. No energy in a still lake. No life. Better be the raging river.

Find something to flow to. Find something to live for. It sure ain’t money.

5.    The illusion of ‘Separation’.

Somehow along the way, customers become seen as separate from a business. Numbers in a spreadsheet. Data hidden in cells. We talk KPI, ROI, CPA. Customers become reduced to acronyms lost in the end game.

This is not true. The customer is never separate. Without the customer, there is no business.

Truth is, you are your customer, so treat your customer as you yourself would want to be treated. No Them. Only Us. A part, not apart. And there is only one way any of us want to be treated. In love.

Love your customer. All is One.

The companies and brands that love their customer’s the most are the companies and brands that win.

Love is the answer.

So inevitably we come to Love. Love is always the answer.

Let’s clarify. What is Love?

Love is the absence of Fear, just as Fear is the absence of Love.

Love says ‘I can’.

Fear says ‘I can’t’.

I have come to realise that Hate is not the opposite of Love. You’ve got to be pretty involved to hate someone or something. Hate just looks at something from the wrong end of the telescope.

Fear is the opposite of Love.

Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the dark. The biggest threat to every business, the biggest threat to every relationship, the biggest threat to our planet is Fear. And I’m not talking about the useful ‘Tiger coming, better run’ kind of fear. I’m talking about the not so useful ice-cold ‘Rabbit frozen in headlights’ kind of fear.

 So here is my learning and take on Fear, wrapped up in a good Catholic analogy:

The Devil is often depicted holding a trident, his weapon of choice.

That trident is symbolic of Fear.

The shaft of the trident is the Grand Daddy, the root of its power. Fear of Death. Marcus Aurelius had a useful pointer for us on this, "It is not death that a man should fear, rather he should fear never beginning to live." 

In this analogy then, Death is the skeleton, the scaffolding. But there is flesh on those bones.

The trident has three barbed spikes and they can also be named:

Original Sin.

The first, central spike is called ‘Fear that I am unworthy of being loved for who I really am’. Simply put, 'I am unlovable’. 

A softer way of saying the same thing is ‘I’m not good enough’.

Such a heavy bummer, a gut punch, a crushing blow. But the good news is I am not alone! It’s a common curse. Ubiquitous. We are all pierced in the heart, born to it.

Let’s call this first spike the ‘origin of sin’, or ‘original sin’.

Pretend.

The second spike on the trident is a direct consequence of the first, impaling fractionally later. The logic is simple and undeniable: Because I am unworthy of being loved for who I really am, to be loved I must pretend to be someone else who is more lovable. So I look around, I take on the traits and behaviours and beliefs that I think will make me more loveable. In short, I pretend.

Good news! The strategy works really well. We all adopt it.

Liar!

Leading to inevitable disaster. We then get skewered by the third spike of Satan’s trident. This one is called “Fear you will be discovered for the pretender that you are”.

Checkmate. Game over. No way out. The perfect trap. A constantly reinforcing feedback loop of fear. Properly F**ked!

This unholy trinity of Fear, rooted in Death, is exactly mirrored in business and branding. Brands feel unworthy, pretend and then worry about being discovered. It’s the illusion of ‘Not Enough’, ‘More is Better’ and “That’s just the way it is”. It’s a hall of mirrors.

No amount of new logos can get around it. 

Love.

The only solution (coupled with years of therapy, that obviously I recommend strongly) is 'Love'. Love says that there is Life after Death, that there is always another go, that we can’t actually fail, that we are worthy. It starts from within and we are the driver:

Love what you do; our life and our jobs. 

Love where you do it; our workplaces. 

Love whom you do it with; our colleagues and suppliers.

And most importantly, love whom you do it for; our customers and ourselves.

And if we don’t, it’s our responsibility to try harder. 

And if we still don’t, it’s our responsibility to try to change things so we do.

And if we still don’t, it’s time to leave!

All of this requires strong leadership, clear messages and unwavering communication. It means building from the inside out with authenticity, responsibility and transparency. 

It demands the absense of Fear: 'Being Who We Really Are', not pretending to be something else that we think other people want us to be. 

It means having the courage of our own conviction.

It means being in Love.

Know Fear!

Stand in your Truth!

Find something to Die For!

Live immediately!

Footnote: For proof positive of ‘Life after Death’, join us to enjoy DEATH? Cigarettes reincarnate as a streetwear label: register now at www.deathcigarettes.com

? BJ Cunningham C/O DEATH? Cigarettes