Love Is Not Enough: I Would Rather Be Desired

Love is overrated. I love my Lexus, but I so desire a Tesla. When it's hot and dry out, I would love some water, but I would kill for a cold can of Coke.

I can't wait to get my new iPhone. I'm on version 14, and my heart still pounds at the prospect of opening the perfectly designed silky white box with the little grey apple winking in the center. Love is overrated because Desire is much more exciting.

We all want to be loved, every person and every brand, but love is not enough nowadays. We all want to be desired, but only a few people and very few brands can provoke never-ending Desire over and over again.

Love is not enough.

Before globalization, there were a handful of brands in any category, and usually the first to market, or the worthiest was able to capture the consumers love – and together,? they lived happily ever after. Back in 1869, Heinz decided to make the world a flavorful place and, as the company itself notes, they have managed to keep it fresh. In a similar category, a sexy (and very hot) lady from Thailand called Sriracha decided to challenge Tabasco. And once a great challenger is in, this opens the field for other competitors.?

To keep up in today’s marketplace, we need to offer more and stand out from the rest: Become sexy enough to keep customers and draw in new ones.

Is loyalty dead?

Yes and no. It all depends on whether you understand that we engage in relationships with our brands the same way we engage in relationships with people. Loyalty must be earned, not imposed.

I've been married for 42 years, which means I am either very loyal or very smart about cheating. Let's just say it’s the first. One of the many reasons for my loyalty is that my husband and I both work on intentionally rekindling our desire every so often. Another is that I've had very few suitors, if any, that were worth my attention.

The same thing happens in the world of brands: You can drive excitement with innovation, or you can rekindle love and spark desire with smart, emotionally charged marketing.?

The great seduction

Some companies sustain desire with no innovation at all. Coca-Cola has been selling the same formula since 1903 – except for the infamous NEW COKE – because they are a marketing and branding machine. The company spent over a century implementing strategies that put brand over product and created a global empire of 200 countries drinking over 1.9 billion servings a day.

Some companies, however, need branding and innovation to seduce new customers. Customers loved Myspace for a time, while it was the only social media option around, but the company failed to innovate and Facebook swooped in like a dashing, new suitor. The platform was easier to use, adapted to user preferences, and offered new features, like games.?

After Facebook became Meta, the company was succeeding at innovation —? new devices and immersive VR environments — but they are failing to make their marketing as disruptive as the Metaverse is desirable. Add in mistrust over the umbrella brand’s privacy policies, a reputation of being for “my parents' social media,” and a CEO who may be many things, but desirable is not one of them (who wants to be seduced by Mark? Zuckerberg?).?

?In this wondrous world of desire, innovation is like flirting or having an affair, which makes it so very exciting, while emotionally charged marketing is the art of seduction. I’ve practiced both and, so far, so good, for my marriage and for the brands I managed.?

The secret sauce??

Keep arousing customers every now and then with exciting moments and brand experiences that sustain engagement. As is true of a long marriage, easier said than done.