Is love enough?

"Love is enough" is not just a "catchy" phrase we copied from anyone, or chose capriciously to sell you on to something. There’s much to learn here. So, take your time, look around, and learn all there is to know.

The past year I’ve witnessed more breakups than any other year. Breakups I didn’t see coming, breakups the couple involved didn’t see coming.

The common factor in most of these breakups was that the love was still very much there, strongly present, yet it wasn’t enough to keep the relationship going.

I fought for the idea that love conquers all, that love makes anything work, even the hardest of relationships. But then I realized that love alone is not enough.

It is the pillar you build the relationship on, but it is not the fuel that keeps it going.

You can truly love someone but they still won’t be right for you. You can be either too similar or too different to the point that you can’t really meet half-way.

You both can be too stubborn to admit it, and even more stubborn to?end the relationship. Eventually though, loving someone who is not right for you can feel like tug of war, you keep pulling and pulling until someone slips away.

You can love someone but the timing won’t be right.

You can do whatever it takes to make it work, but one of you?may still not be ready to take the next step.

One of you may be tired of waiting for the next step.

One of you may get a big shot at a dream job and abandon everything else. One of you may just be starting grad school and want to solely focus on their education. Whatever the reason may be, it’s hard to schedule a meeting when your life timetables are not aligning.

You can love someone but the parents can get in the way.

Even though it’s 2022 and our generation is more independent than ever, parents still have a say one way or another.

?You can be in love with each other, but if her dad is not a big fan or his mom is not a big fan, the relationship is doomed. A relationship that doesn’t?have the parents’ blessing is usually not blessed.

Curse the stars, curse the universe, it’s hard to fight the parental force once it gets a hold of you.

You can love someone who needs help.

You can be in love with someone who needs help, and I mean clinical help. We are all crazy in our own way, but some people truly need therapy, and until they fix themselves, you can’t really fix them.

You can try to help, you can be supportive, you can be the most loving and nurturing person out there, but you still won’t be their remedy.

And they can love with all they’ve got, but because they’re their own worst enemy, or because they are damaged, they will most likely destroy the relationship along the way. It’s what they know, it’s what they understand, and until they get help, there is no way the relationship will survive.

Disclaimer:?The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.

Thank you?….You can love someone that you can’t keep up with.

You can love someone but you fight 50 times a day. You can love someone who is always working. You can love someone who is always on their phone. You can love someone who can’t open up about their feelings. You can love someone who changes their mind like they change their outfits.

While you may think that love can outdo all of the above, sometimes it can’t. Sometimes it gets exhausting to keep up. It drains you when you can’t foretell what kind of person you will have to deal with.

It sucks the happiness out of you to know that you are coming up against a brick wall. Love can start to feel like hard work —?work you just can’t put up with anymore even though you need it, even though you love it.

You can love someone who makes you love yourself a little less.

It’s paradoxical and ironic and sadistic that someone can love you to an extent that makes you not love yourself. Love is a drug, and sometimes the high of the drug fizzles out and you are left with anger and anxiety and the need for a fix that is not always obtainable.

You can’t go without it, but you know it is slowly killing you. Some people love each other so much but there is no understanding, there is no patience, there is no peace, there is no tolerance.

The truth of the matter is that love only?works when it is combined with a bunch of other factors to make it grow; like respect, humility, compatibility and commitment.

Relationships based on the feelings of love alone crumble, because love can’t stand on its own, and love does not always equal happily ever after.??

Do you want to add a word or two?....

Love alone is not enough. Without imagination, love stales into sentiment, duty, and boredom. Relationships fail not because Love alone is not enough. Without imagination, love stales into sentiment, duty, and boredom.

Relationships fail not because we have stopped loving but because we first stopped imagining.

The effects of a lack of love and distrust can destroy a relationship similar to a wildfire. Starting as a small ember of doubt, distrust can become a full-on blaze. To prevent this from happening, early steps have to be taken to address it.

What lack of love can do?

There are some statements that the lack of love stems directly from having sin in our lives. The passage of scripture described as ‘the greatest commandment’ speaks to loving God with all our heart, soul and mind. This type of love goes beyond mere appreciation and emotion.

Your Comments……

There is a variety of ways in which an individual who feels unloved could react. He or she could desperately try to win affection. This may be done by being exceptionally kind to others. However, this could be unsuccessful as the motive for kindness would not be pure. Beneficiaries are usually able to discern insincere acts of kindness. It is also human nature to more readily give affection to less demanding individuals.

This could cause the individual to become disillusioned by the ingratitude. It may not occur to him that the material benefits he offers are far less value than the affection he or she is trying to gain.

Instead of seeking to buy affection, other unloved individuals may become revengeful. They could stir up revolutions and wars, making life miserable for many. The feeling of being one man or one woman against the world can be quite destructive. It could be destructive to self and others.

Lack of Love: Consequences

Lack of love can also be manifested as distrust and in other negative ways. These include:

Anxiety is one of the stages of distrust. It breeds feelings of uneasiness or apprehension. This is usually manifested physically. Having to deal with someone you do not quite trust, could conjure up feelings of nervousness. The individual could also experience anger, rapid heartbeats, disgust and knots in the stomach.

Doubt causes slight uncertainty regarding the trustworthiness of others. It can linger in the back of your mind, and you cannot dismiss it. In certain situations, something often does not feel right, even though you can’t exactly identify what is amiss.

Over time, unresolved doubt will grow into suspicion. Suspicion is essentially a belief with no proof. You’ve begun to notice a pattern of behavior that could be a lack of trust. However, you cannot make a firm conclusion because you do not have enough proof.

At this stage of distrust, you will be afraid to show any vulnerability. Trust would have been breached repeatedly. At this point, the distrust would be so great, you will fear for your emotional well-being.

Fear typically moves you into a self-protection mode. Walls are erected in your relationship to prevent a certain level of closeness. Self-preservation serves to reduce vulnerability. However, it cements distrust.

Trust binds individuals together in a relationship. Whenever trust is severed, major disconnection takes place. If you can no longer show your vulnerabilities, you will start to experience different things, such as:

As compensation for the distrust in the relationship, you could end up over-investing in tasks related to hobbies, school, work or other activities. You will likely place focus on other aspects of your life since it is easier to do than try to connect. This effectively shuts down the personal aspect of your relationship.

Instead of a carefree vibe that exists in a trusting relationship, sharing personal information becomes difficult. You stop taking risks because of the removal of the safety net in the relationship. It then becomes common to feel lonely or frozen or dead on the inside.

Distrust can lead to problematic behavior. It is easy to try to suppress our emotions by engaging in destructive behaviors. These include drinking too much, over-eating and abusing drugs…forever chewing maava.

Studies have shown that it is common for an individual to be the giver in their relationships to avoid being a receiver. As the giver, you are allowed to escape being vulnerable. You will listen, guide and help others.

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