Love is not enabling,not letting some one off the hook!

Love is a sacred feeling. To love some one truly we must include truth, wisdom, and boundaries. Sometimes it also means distance. It means knowing when to rest and recharge and to embrace our limits. It always means to have grace for yourself, too, but not letting some one off the hook and let it fall down, no it is supporting, healing and building up relationships between two people. The term “enabler” generally describes someone whose behaviour allows a loved one to continue self-destructive patterns of behaviour. This term can be stigmatising since there's often negative judgement attached to it. Enabling doesn't mean you support your loved one's addiction or wrong behaviour.

There can be few reasons for you not falling in love with someone e.g. You might have had a failure in your previous relationship that you lost hope on relationships on the whole. You're so independent that you start enjoying solitude and doesn't need someone else to make you happy. But there is that innermost feeling of longing for some one who belongs to you or to whom you belong by heart, soul and mind.

An enabler in this sense is a person who by their actions make it easier for an addict to continue their self-destructive behaviour by criticising or rescuing. The term refers to a relationship where one or both parties enable the other to act in certain wrong ways. Like a "narcissistic enabler" who is a particular personality type that is thought to be shaped in childhood, by the interaction between a narcissist and a dependent child who doesn't have the personal skills or power to escape from the situation, and who copes by giving the narcissist what he wants it is like surrendering due to total dependency.

Some of us have a hard time accepting love, care, or even compliments. When we have low self-esteem or a negative self-image, a kind word from a friend may also contradict our own perception of ourselves and land us in an existential crisis and drive us into depression. Symptoms of emotional detachment are a lack of attention, or appearing preoccupied when around others. There is a difficulty being loving or affectionate with a family member. There is a difficulty empathising with another person's feelings not easily sharing emotions or feelings or like going into a cocoon or a shell within self.

An enabler is like lying to others to cover the addict's behaviour, an enabler will lie to keep the peace and to present a controlled, calm exterior. Blaming people or situations other than the addict himself, To protect the addict from the consequences of drug abuse, the enabler might accuse other people of causing drug abuse.

Anger actually originates from love. You can not get angry unless you love and care about someone. It is impossible to feel anger without love. Understanding this on a deep level and developing the ability to witness this within yourself will change your relationship to anger completely. Your anger is there to serve you to better your relationships because when you are angry on some one you care for the person and love the person, otherwise there is no sense in getting angry.

Although there are some people suffering in love and need others to help them, they have a hard time leaning on someone else. This may be because of some unconscious mental block. Or it could simply be because they have difficulty recognising that they need to change. When you can't stop thinking about a person, it could mean several things. You might imagine spending time with them, because you don't know what that could be like, and you envision a beautiful connection that could be. Perhaps you want to get to know them more, and you've invested in the potential of a relationship, this is part of a loving relationship developing between two persons and it is a beautiful feeling of togetherness, loving and caring for each other and supporting each other in all respects it is not covering other's shortcomings or mistakes but correcting and helping the person to overcome the shortfalls and becoming a better person. Keep loving truly and stay blessed. #kishoreshintre