Love and Corona

Dating is hell, you know that. To add to today’s complications, we have apps and we have that FOMO mentality (fear of missing out, for those in the know). Throw a pandemic into this equation, all hell breaks loose. Dating is no longer, sitting starry eyed in a candle-lit restaurant, going to a crowded movie theater with buttery popcorn or coming over for a drink. 

One positive to come out of this Covid19 situation can be looking at relationships differently. We usually equate relationships with physical intimacy but now, with social distancing and being forced to be under quarantine, we are now forced to actually have conversations. As relationship expert Mathew Hussey questions, “Now in the space where the kiss would have sufficed, now we have space to ask another question”. 

In a pre-quarantine world, physical intimacy was the ultimate outlet to deal with issues. Have a fight, make up sex. No conversation, lets make out. But now, we actually have to make the effort to listen and respond to each other in different ways. The more hours we spend chatting on the phone, getting to know each other and also going through this experience together, the more we are creating a story together. Our story, so to speak and we are building the narrative of our possible future together. 

I am reminded of a conversation I had with a friend. She was talking talking about a weekend get away she was going to have with this guy she started seeing and thought of it as a casual fling, but then the curfew hit and they were forced to cancel their plans. She didn’t think much of it, more like a fun weekend away with a cute guy. But now, thanks to the curfew, the two of them started talking more and conversing and she realized there is a potential relationship here, than an one night stand. I am sure he did too.

Karen B.K. Chan, a sex and emotional literacy educator based in Toronto says “Any restrictions or limitations—and these days are full of them, not just in terms of physical distancing, but also the freedom and the pressure to be in the world, to be busy, to be socially connected—can inspire creativity.”  She continues. “And creativity is one of the best ways of being yourself, being open and getting to know someone, growing closer to them and building a relationship”.

Slowing down the beginning of the relationship and physical intimacy actually brings out the more delicious emotional intimacy, which is what sustains the relationship. You may actually discover your partner loves crossword puzzles or romantic movies and thanks to technology, you can both do these online together. You may even discover your new beau may be a bore, he is killing time chatting with you and he is actually selfish. Isn’t it better that you discovered this now than investing more dates with him? 

In this world of speed dating, dating apps and quick texts, it is nice to actually step back and have real conversations. Time is slowed down and you realize what you really want from your partner. The world post Covid is going to be a strange place but what better way to navigate through it, than with someone who has been through it with you.