Love is Confrontational

Love is Confrontational

If you love someone you care enough to say the hard things.

When my kids were young, my efforts went into teaching them how to be good humans. I taught them how to share and how to play nice. But I also taught them to stand up for themselves, not to be bullied, and how to make friends.

It's no different in business. We need to learn how to care about the people around us.

Genuinely care.

I think your actions need to line up with your words.

I can name five managers in my entire career that I respect. Each of them cared about me and cared enough to tell me things I did not want to hear. They all asked before they gave me feedback. They all saw that telling me the truth was a challenge. And they all were willing to go through the ugly to find the beautiful.

When I find myself speaking of patients and patient care, I see the power of confrontation. Confrontation does not have to be adversarial.


There is no "them."


I struggle with this one but we hear our own words. Your subconscious mind hears the words you say. AND you apply that message to your life. I believe this is the number one reason why we are meant to live in community. Because, we need to hear the voice of others beyond our own diatribes of negative self speak.

Have you ever heard about the concept of a velvet hammer?

A hammer can shape metal, but the velvet covering can help you shape precious metals into works of art. In communication, we have all heard about the book ends theory. Start with a compliment, insert your concerns, and end with another compliment.

Love cuts through the tarnished mesh that covers our emotions.

Love allows you to give and receive correction.

Love is when my wife tells me her love language.

Love is when I listen.

Love is when I clock in at 5:53 instead of 6:02.

Love is when I get to ambulate my patients on Sundays.

Love is when my paycheck is enough to cover all my needs.

Love is when I give to my friends who are struggling.

Love is when I expect nothing in return.

Love is when I support my peers.

Love is when I listen to my leaders.

Love is when I give.

Love is when I receive.

And Love is when you care enough to tell someone else that they could do better.


Thank you for reading my post.






Ahmed Ataallh

Creating Standout Content for Nurses to Attract Career Changing Opportunities |Healthcare Content Specialist|Ghostwriting

1 个月

Thank you for this thought-provoking article, I believe love is not just a reaction but an intentional action that we can choose to initiate. By leading with love, we can resolve many challenges and strengthen our relationships. Love, when practiced as a proactive effort, fosters understanding, breaks down barriers, and creates opportunities for growth. Your perspective on confrontation as a form of deep care beautifully aligns with the idea that love is a powerful, transformative force when we take the initiative. Thank you for sharing such valuable insights.

Ali Fakher, BSN, RN,

UN Nurse & Global Health Advocate | NurseHack4Health Winner | Transforming Nursing Leadership & Innovation | Championing Empowerment & Systemic Change | Redefining the Future of Modern Nursing

1 个月

Matt Harless, your post resonates deeply. The concept of the 'velvet hammer' is such a powerful metaphor-how care and constructive feedback can coexist beautifully when rooted in genuine love and respect. As a nurse, I've witnessed how 'love'-through listening, support, and sometimes hard truths-becomes the bridge to healing and growth. Whether in patient care or leadership, it’s about balancing kindness with honesty, ensuring that every interaction shapes a stronger, better version of the person in front of us. Thank you for reminding us that love isn’t just in the grand gestures-it’s in the everyday actions and the courage to care enough to confront. Truly inspiring!

Ann Griffith

Recruiting Consultant

1 个月

What a great post. I really appreciate your perspective. I always think love and care, as you mention genuine care, is an act of resistance. It is an active choice. There's a phrase I like that goes around the internet, "to be loved is to be changed." As you said, receiving difficult but necessary feedback for our betterment is an act of love, because when we care about one another, we will obviously want people to improve so they can reach the goals and life they deserve. That doesn't usually happen staying in the same passive place.

Maureen Metzger

Certified Healthcare Leadership Coach and Inclusive Team-Building Expert| Empowering Health Care Leaders to Have a Career They Thrive in| Click on the Link Below to Schedule a 1:1 Call With Me.

1 个月

You bring up a great point Matt Harless. When we have invested in creating a caring foundation for our relationships, being honest will strengthen, not harm.

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