Love is the answer, whatever the question...

Hello friends...

In today’s time, people often ask me about the most optimal way to manage our marital relationships. Most marriages are troubled because of lack of trust and communication issues plaguing our lives. Advancement in technology has created various applications like WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook. The mere existence of a smart phone hampers relationships. We all want privacy… ‘Me time’, but when it comes to our partners / spouses we want to know everything. This wanting of ‘Privacy’ is the prime reason for discord in our relationships today. If we want privacy for ourselves, should we not expect the same for our partners?

Everyone wants appreciation and time with their partners…and if the partner is unable to provide even a little bit of it, relationships start falling apart. Feelings of lack of appreciation and importance leads to marital discords and break down of families.

Gone are those days when friendships were taken seriously. Back then, when we made friends, they were friends for life. In today’s world we make friends only with those who can benefit us, and when our needs are fulfilled, friends are lost. This is a world of instant gratification…where relationships, food, and clothes - everything (almost!) is available at the touch of a button. Then, who would have the patience to wait? The moment a relationship ends, we are back on our dating applications searching for the next one. We cannot wait even for a day to fill the void…we need someone to gratify us immediately. Really? Where are we going as a society? Are we looking for LOVE or just a physical stimulation and gratification? My friends, let me tell you something today…everything in the world can be instantly bought today at the touch of a button, except for LOVE and satisfaction. LOVE needs patience, LOVE needs time, LOVE needs understanding and today, we are losing it in a big way!

A man and a woman cannot be JUST FRIENDS anymore. Let me ask you a question. Did having a male friend or a female friend bother you when you were in your twenties, when you were in college or when you were not married? Then why does the status quo change after marriage? Why can’t a man have a woman as JUST A FRIEND? Why do we expect our spouses to supplement for every relationship? How can one spouse be a wife or a husband, be our coffee friend, be our reading friend, be our movie friend, be a mentor or just be our weekend chat over beer friend? How can we, as human beings expect so much from one person, one relationship? Does it not sound unfair?

And when this does not happen, doubt, jealousy, frustration creates home in our minds…which leads to loneliness and even sometimes depression. It is such an irony that with increasing population all around the world, man is getting lonelier by the day.

I received a text message which said ‘Don't feel bad for making decisions that upset other people. You're not responsible for their happiness, you're responsible for yours.’ Let me simplify this for you. How can YOU serve a guest who comes to your house when your own vessel is empty? How can YOU take care of people, spread happiness and love, when you are unhappy, depressed and broken from within?

YOU should always be your first priority. A happy person builds a happy family and a happy home. Take care of yourself first.

Every day, I get queries from my clients about broken marriages, family issues, relationship breakdowns and let me tell you the common words I hear every time..

1.     He / she never has time for me… he is always on the phone chatting on WhatsApp. Is he having an affair? - Insecurity | Lack of Trust | Fear

2.     I am already frustrated with professional tensions; please do not bother me with your words anymore! - Irritated | Lack of Empathy | Disgust

3.     Why are you chatting with her / him? If this the way you chat with a friend? Why did you delete this message? - Jealousy | Lack of Respect| Lonely          

Issues in our marital lives never starts big…it is the small things that add on to create the bigger issues. The first time it happens, every couple should mutually agree to discuss this, clear the air and kiss goodnight before they retire every night. A popular thought says that ‘The last thought you sleep with every night, is the first thought you wake up with’. So, my dear friends, love before you sleep and smile when you wake up!

Else life becomes a vicious circle of doubt, jealousy, anger, fights, arguments, cold wars, eerie silences, half hearted non-sustainable efforts to patch up, divorce, kids going through the brunt and then restarting of life all over again from scratch. Why do we have to go through this cycle? A little bit of adjustment, oceans of faith and trust and a universe of love is all it takes to keep a relationship alive. And that is not asking for too much! Remember, everyone can buy a house, but it takes years to make it a home. Similarly, it takes years to build a home and a second to destroy it.

Those friends and relatives to whom you turn to for advice are the same people who will not even be there once you are divorced and lonely. No one stays forever…they get busy with their lives, except for your partner. That is why the Indian culture believes that Marriages are till death do us apart.

Now…how can we solve these issues? Can astrology do it? Can a change in mindset do it? Can we prevent a divorce or save a marriage from breaking down …even if it is written in our stars? My answer is YES, WE CAN.

A good astrologer is also a good counselor; he is also your friend, your guide, your mentor. But the willingness to work towards the differences should be from both the partners, without any external influence. If two people in a relationship are responsive, agree that the relationship is rocky right now and are willing to work towards betterment, the lost love and trust usually returns, and you are then, almost in a win-win situation. After all, Love is always the answer, whatever be the question!

Out of 100 married couples today, 40 are divorced, 20 separated,30 of them are living under the same roof for the children and balance 10 are happily married. Isn’t this an alarming figure? Why is this happening? And why is this increasing by the day? Is it instant money, easy sex, big egos, frustrations or the lack of patience?

Here is where Rahu, one of the most malicious planets of the universe comes into play. He is the creator of doubt. When Rahu is misplaced in your chart, he brings in issues, problems, doubts, and illusions. Saturn or Shani’s entry begins with quarrels, right or wrong and truth or lies are the traits of Mars.

Rahu is like the motherboard of the computer (the Big Boss actually!) who constantly informs Saturn or Shani and this prompts Mars to react. Imagine these three malicious planets getting together in a person’s astrological chart, with no counselor to show them direction! They can play havoc with a person’s mind!

This team of three join together on a mission to destroy Jupiter, who is regarded as an highly renowned and esteemed doctor in astrology, Venue – the medicine giver and Mercury, our brains. All the good, wise and positive planets are affected. In such a situation where doubt, fear, anger and illusion rules your head, either you become a spy or hire one to ruin your relationship! You start walking on the path of self destruction.

So today, my request to all my dear friends is…please take the strongest, hardest, toughest step to control Rahu at the 1st level itself. Leave no room for doubt in your mind. Do not force, go to the root cause of the problem, and uproot it from the roots. Remember, Faith always moves mountains and doubt creates them. There is only one route to the well of doubt, which you can choose to jump in…but there is no way out of that well.

LOVE is the weakest when there is more DOUBT than TRUST, but… LOVE is the strongest when TRUST overtakes DOUBT.

- Rajesh Khanna | Astrologer & Numerologist

(For special counseling sessions, please join me on my WhatApp # +91 9650630087, Saturdays and Sundays for a two hour session with prior appointment, at a nominal fee of Rs. 500 only.)