Love was an Action Word for Dad

When pop was a youngster, it was common for boys to play marbles. Dad related to me once “your Mother used to run up and kick everyone’s marbles to hell and gone.” Actually, mom added-to his statement by saying she “already knew she was to marry Starlin and “just wanted a little of his attention.” Her love for pop was an action word, even then.

It is amazing how a song can take you back to a special place in time long gone by.

The other evening, a special feature on the PBS Channel aired some of the old country music tunes from 1940s/50s country artist Bob Wills. Many of those songs like “Take Me Back to Tulsa I’m Too Young to Marry,” “San Antonio Rose,” “Deep in the Heart of Texas,” and “Miles and Miles of Texas” snapped me back to an incredibly-joyful time in my childhood. 

Whenever I hear one of these old songs, I think of my father, Starlin. Although dad’s unique name undoubtedly caused him similar issues endured by “A Boy Name Sue,” he was one sibling of nine and thus learned to deal with taunts—of that, I am sure. Like certain old songs, dad’s first name and our last name delineated family names steeped in heritage--some of that heritage may be considered infamous on a national scale.

You know Pop sang and played guitar, occasionally on the radio, I was told. He played with another musician Claude in his later years and it was easy to see he truly-enjoyed his music. He would get that little smile on his face—kind of like he had a pleasant secret he was thinking about or a fond memory of a time from long ago. 

At home, when certain songs hit the radio waves, he would get this look on his face, then break out in song or dance. This little dance he did with mom, putting their hands together and his arm around her, is what I warmly recall as one of the fondest memories I have of my father and his love for his bride. Now, I notice, I hear the words of these songs, and my own happy face comes out.

“I rode up in to Austin, the cradle of the west. Just ask any cowboy, he'll tell you it's the best. I met a Texas beauty, I got friendly with her pa. I looked in to her big blue eyes, this is what I saw. I saw miles and miles of Texas, all the stars up in the sky. I saw miles and miles of Texas, gonna live here till I die.”

As a youngster, I would await 5:21pm each evening when dad would arrive home from work. Always 5:21pm, one could set his watch by it. In the back door he would come, wash up, then turn on the old style Bulova radio in the kitchen. They would chat warmly among themselves until a dance-able tune came on, then that little smile appeared on mom’s face too—perhaps an indication of some secret memory or thought. No texts, no tv, no emails, just a warm dance amongst themselves that occasionally included me. I was there each evening at 5:21pm, watching and learning of this strange ritual I now know to be fondness, respect and love for each other.

“You see that girl with the red dress on, Some folks call her Dinah. Stole my heart away from me, Way down in Louisiana. Take me back to Tulsa, I'm too young to marry. Take me back to Tulsa, I'm too young to wed thee.”

There, in our small kitchen, together, the two of them would sing a little, dance a little and overall revel in how good they had it and exude a pleasant gratefulness for what they had. The Evening News was not allowed to intrude into these special moments, nor even the telephone. Music was the catalyst that brought out love in force in our home and that love was more important that what may be happening somewhere else in Timbuctoo.

I figure it is a intellectual mindset, placing one’s mind into the love mode, the gratitude mode, appreciating what one has for life is short, very short. No one ever knows. Love is really an action word, too, a verb best practiced personally with others around you. Love is not only a noun, love is a call to display love actions to others around you. It is a definite action word I believe can be used a whole lot more in current day times.

Perhaps, much of our world today distributes too much of their love in the third person. Direct interaction and loving communication is incredibly more effective than what can ever be conveyed in email or in texts. Life really is short in time, I am for making it count.

I was working for the airline and had just awakened in Atlanta when I got the news dad had passed. My thoughts went to those sweet happy times in the kitchen with Dad and Mom dancing to Bob Wills hits with that grin on both their faces. Those truly wonderful moments, their love for each other and taking those small moments every-once-in-a-while to enjoy what love has for us all. They were leading by example on how love is really an action word, smiling, dancing and singing, as they did.

We travel all over this country wide, Playing music by the hour. Always wear this great big smile, We never do look sour. Take me back to Tulsa, I'm too young to marry. Take me back to Tulsa, I'm too young to wed thee."

 Both Pop and Mom are gone now, my fond memories of these special moments live on, perhaps stoked by old country songs. As much as I love old country music, I recall the special simple smiles on their faces, the love in their eyes, the hint of the secrets they must have shared, while showing me a way to show love for others.

Love is definitely an action word.

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?Michael Hatfield RE/MAX Accord Team

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