Love And Acceptance In A Fire Department

A Fire Battalion Chief nurtures belonging through deep, personal conversations.

Unique Communality of Fire Department Life

Jenna Graham , of the Mountain View (CA) Fire Department, began our interview by noting the unusual schedule and communal life of fire fighters. They work 48 hour shifts, spending that time at their fire station or out responding to an emergency, followed by 72 hours off-duty at home with family. During the on-duty hours, they’re with their team all the time. In between emergencies, there is a lot of opportunity to “just talk — while cooking, eating, doing dishes, exercising, playing games … late at night.”

Creating a Sense of Team

As a serious athlete in school and college, Jenna understood the importance of teamwork. However, upon joining the fire department, she was surprised by the lack of a strong team dynamic. Over two decades of service, Jenna made? it her mission to change that. Now a Battalion Chief, she takes pride in creating a strong sense of belonging.

Taking advantage of all those opportunities to “just talk”, she delves deeply into people’s lives. She learns how and where they grew up, what their life is like today, what challenges they have had or are experiencing, what they love to do, and so on. Refraining from judgment, she focuses on understanding who they are, where they come from, and what deeply held beliefs they have. The other person feels known and accepted; Jenna learns how best to mentor and manage that person.

Be You!

Jenna stresses to everyone around her the importance of being who you are, even if you’re different from others. Belonging means that people know you, love you, respect you as you are. A genuine connection — to the real you — is necessary for belonging.

She acknowledges that this isn’t always easy. Life in a fire station can be particularly tough if one feels out of place. You could feel trapped, stuck with unwelcoming people for long stretches of time.

Being one of the first women in this fire department, she remembers how hard it was to fit in. Brené Brown “opened my eyes to the difference between fitting in and belonging. The harder you work to fit in the less you belong, because you start to lose yourself in the process.” Things improved when she realized she was never going to fit in, and got comfortable with being who she was. Jenna discovered that she was “loved and accepted and valued for who I am.”

Of course, this sadly doesn’t happen for everyone, women or men, and so they leave the fire service.

Lessons For the Rest of Us

Most people don’t work in a communal environment like a fire station. Opportunities for conversation over meals and housework and late nights are not a normal part of the workday. Organization leaders may wonder, how can I find or create similar opportunities? My sense from talking with Jenna is that more important than the circumstances is the commitment to probing deeply into people’s lives. Not to be nosy, but to know and respect them, to learn to love them, and to be comfortable with the vulnerability that that requires.

Photo: The Leadership Mountain View class of 2023 gets a tour of MVFD Station 1. In the front row Jenna Graham is 2nd from the right, and the author Rajiv Mehta is 4th from the left.