LOUD QUITTING - IS IT TIME?

Wow - Jacinda just quit. Just like that she essentially said "I'm done. I've got nothing left". I loved her before and I love her even more now because what she did took a tremendous amount of courage. Women have traditionally been described as 'the weaker sex', and perhaps because of that we do everything to prove how strong we are. Women like Maggie Thatcher would have worn the label 'The Iron Lady' as a badge of honour. Listen to what Elizabeth 1 of England said "I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart of a King, and the heart of a King of England, too!" We spend much of our time showing that we are strong and this means pushing ourselves to the limit sometimes.

So what happens when your physical and emotional strength fails and when you are just TIRED? I think that many people reading this might be able to identify with that day when you are looking at work and realizing that you no longer have the passion or energy that you once had. Should you put on your big girl underwear and push through? Should you just say "I'm burnt out and ready to move on so I will?" The first option may look strong and the second weak, but is that really the case? Here are my thoughts:

1. Ask yourself why you are feeling that way. Analyse what has happened. Some possibilities include a change in the conditions of the job, a change in supervision (most people quit because of a supervisor), and change in colleagues. Knowing why helps you to make a better decision.
2. Ask yourself if this a temporary or a permanent situation? Work life has its peaks and valleys. Making a decision at a time of extreme pressure is probaby not a good idea because this too will pass. So take a little time to answer this question - certainly don't make a decision after a rocky meeting or gruelling workday. If it looks like it is permanent then...
3. Is there anything that I can do to change the situation? Can you have a talk with your boss for example? Can you shift some of the workload to someone else? Can you get some time extensions? Sometimes we assume that people must know that we are tired and burnt out. They do not. If you need a change ask for it. If you cannot get the change then ...
4. What are the compelling reasons for me to leave? Jacinda said that she no longer had 'enough in the tank', Naomi Osaka withdrew from the French Open because she had anxieties with the media, Simone Biles withdrew from the final rounds of the Olympics to focus on her mental health and Ashleigh Bartley quit tennis because she felt that she was absolutely spent and had nothing more to give. For these ladies the burnout was real and a reason to throw in the towel. They were roundly abused by many members of the public because we don't see mental health in the same light as physical health. But they persisted because they knew themselves.

Trust your instincts - if you feel that you can't go on and you feel that way tomorrow and the next day, then trust your feelings.

5. What are the compelling reasons for me to stay? In many cases finances will be the reason, but there might be others. And don't be swayed by other people saying that you still have something to contribute. It is YOUR life and YOUR mind and body. When she was very popular, Oprah retired herself from her television show and focused on other interests. She could have continued but she was done and she followed through.

6. What will life look like if I leave? Here is what Serena Williams said "I’m currently allowing myself to be tired. Allowing myself To relax. Allowing myself to just be. It’s harder than I ever imagined. I’ve never allowed myself to do any of that before". Of course Serena has a few million and is married to a few more, and that is not the reality of most of us. But be realistic - many people exaggerate and believe that they must either stick with the current situation or end up hungry and homeless. There generally is an in-between situation, and some options available if you take the time to explore. It may mean moving in with family, reducing expenditure etc. but would it be worth it?

Health is wealth - would you be healthier? Would your family life improve? Would you be able to pursue and make money from your true passion?

7. EXECUTE. Some of us can type up our resignation right now and leave, and some of us may have to spend a few months more as we organize our lives. But if you can't feel a compelling reason to stay, then start to work that plan. You will feel happier and healthier if you know that you have a roadmap.

"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." —?Buddha