A lot to be grateful for...

Fittingly I start this, my second article by saying Thank You. Thank you to the many hundreds of people who reacted to my first article I posted a fortnight ago. You have given me the courage to pick up the figurative pen and embark on a more regular writing series. Your reactions have reinforced the power of a collaborative community and the undeniable comfort that comes from peer encouragement. I owe a great debt of gratitude to friends, family, colleagues, and the kindness of strangers.

Many of you suggested I need to write more….which left me pondering, what might I write about in a regular post? What small platter of insights can I offer that will whet your appetite and bring into focus what we know to be true but relegate to the back seat of priorities?

So, I’ve decided each fortnight I will write about one important theme and share my perspectives using my favourite quotes to amplify the theme. To help me on this journey I’d love to get your feedback on what that theme means to you. Let’s challenge ourselves to then put it into regular practice.

As the title this week suggests, I am diving into Gratitude, potentially the master of all the virtues. And like any virtue, it takes time to master it. I am a good test subject. Years of rushing about, busy being busy and never pausing long enough to appreciate the simple things. There are many pro’s and con’s of a career transition; one clear pro has been the time it has given me to just think, take stock and re-prioritise. Gratitude is a practice and I’m using this time to sharpen the saw on mine. 

Gratitude is deeply engrained in who we are as people. As kids we are taught to say thank you as quickly as hello and I learnt (through a documentary I watched years ago) that it’s also deeply embedded in our evolutionary history. Darwin first suggested gratitude is a universally experienced emotion with researchers observing the behaviour in our closest relative, the chimpanzee. Specifically, chimps display reciprocity, they do favours and in return other chimps do favours for them. Over time this reciprocity bonds the group and establishes a deep-seated appreciation for the role each chimp plays in the troop. I like to think that gratitude is innate in all of us. It starts with the simple act of saying thank you and evolves into that deeper social emotion of appreciation. And with practice the more you do it the easier and more automatic the habit becomes. 

A few years ago, a colleague of mine suggested a very practical way to cultivate gratitude in every day. Up until this point I kept a gratitude journal, and each day would write down the 3 things I was grateful for…. interestingly though I wouldn’t read these out loud or talk about them at home or with friends. My gratitude practice was largely a solo reflective one. My colleague suggested I take on an experiment for 2 weeks: 10 working days. At the end of each day, the task was to write/text or call 3 people and tell them 1 thing I was grateful for/appreciated from them that day. It went something like: 

“Dear John, I was impressed with the restraint you showed in our meeting today, I know the discussion got heated and I wanted to say I appreciate the leadership you took. Thank you for being a great role model, cheers Chris”.

Each note would take a total of 20 seconds to write, and I was never challenged to find 3 people each day to write to or call. I followed the experiment for 10 days! You’re not surprised to hear how impactful the whole exercise was. I know it gave me a significant uplift in my general positivity and it showed me with this remarkably simple example just how actionable gratitude can be.

Gratitude not only lifts our longer-term positive outlook, it also improves our overall well-being. We now have reams of scientific evidence which shows the incredible impact gratitude offers. From increased optimism, to strengthening relationships; expressing gratitude can improve your self-control and lift physical and mental health.

Here are my favourite gratitude quotes I love to think about whenever I feel challenged. You may have heard me rambling one of these over the years. I like to remember them whenever I need a shift in mindset. 

1. When we focus on what we lack we lose what we have, when we focus on what we have, we gain what we lack. (Greg McKeown)

If you haven’t read any of Greg’s work, you should. For those who have, I am knocking on the door of raving fans. Greg’s books Essentialism, the disciplined pursuit of less and Effortless, make it easier to do what matters most should be written into the Leadership Halls of Fame. When I first read this quote and heard Greg speak about it, something in me clicked. Could it really be as simple as focusing on what you have and in turn it will help you gain what you lack! Intuitive, compelling, and bloody hard to put into practice every day. 

2. Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realise they were the big things. (Robert Braul)

A dear colleague of mine told me this years ago. Maybe you know it as “smell the roses”. However it lands for you, there is so much truth in stopping each day and catching those little moments that remind you just how special life is. My husband is a role model for me in this, I often think I am way too practical, and he has helped me to nurture the pause button and realise how a little thing really does become a special memory years later.

3. I cried because I had no shoes until I met the man who had no feet. (Helen Keller)

How often do we live in our own reality and lament all the things we don’t have forgetting about those less fortunate than us? I’ve attempted to teach this one to my kids and they often whip back some sharp retort like: “Mum, you’ve never met a man who didn’t have feet….be honest Mum….” Is it just me or has this new generation thrown out “figuratively” as a concept and globally replaced it with “literally”?

I wish you all the best as you continue to nurture gratitude; it is core to our humanity and central to your long-term happiness.