You know, I literally thought I was untouchable.  I had been with Intel for 28 years.  I'm not worried about losing my job, maybe a redeployment, and a new job is like a vacation right?  I got to work early Tuesday morning.  I had some notes and items to get cleaned up prior to an important meeting.  I noticed a 10:00am meeting on my calendar with my manager.  Didn't think much about it.  I was happy and smiling, when I approached the conference room door I noticed the HR representative sitting with my manager.  Now it doesn't take a lot of sense to know that this probably isn't about that big raise they are going to give me for being such a great employee.

The HR person got right to business and told me as of this moment I have been terminated.  I said this must be some kind of a mistake or a bad joke.  As the HR representative stared at me with cold dead shark eyes I realized she was not joking.  My actual response was " I have things to do cant we talk about this later" she said No, I want your badge (ID) immediately.  You must turn in your Laptop and any Intel property you have.  It was a surreal out of body experience.  I was literally on the ceiling looking down at this entire situation and I didn't like it. Now this is the pleasant most humiliating part.  After helping actually build this site, I was escorted back to my office and handed a shopping bag.  I dumped the contents of my backpack on the desk, picked up the pictures of my kids and grandkids and left everything else ( why would I want anything from a company that betrayed me after 28 years).  I was marched down to a conference room and handed a thumb drive and told to take all the personal items off my laptop and to wipe my phone.  But just prior to doing that, the technician assisting grabs the laptop out of my hand and states he has to disable the wireless so I don't send off some information or a an email warning others (Ha Ha)  I have been with the company 28 years, I didn't become a criminal  (like I was being treated) within the last 15 minutes.  I was walked to the door and I never looked back.  I kept hearing I'm sorry behind me, trust me it didn't help.

As I walked to my car my head was swimming with emotions.  I was mad, I was enraged, I was literally shaking and when I got in my car I realized like I looked like I had been punched in the face.  I was not in a good place and I really shouldn't have gotten behind the wheel in that condition.  So I sat for a moment, but the longer I stared at the building the more upset I had become.  Losing your job after 28 years is like losing your family.  No I cant call them up, no I cant go to lunch and just chat, I am alone now.

This first thing I did when I got home was pick up the laptop and start looking for jobs.  I whipped up a 20 minute resume thinking that I am so talented that I will have a job by tomorrow.  My head was spinning.  I was applying for every job I thought I would have a chance at.  McDonalds, Dog walker, bus boy, landscaping (mowing lans), you get the picture.  Keys pounding, resume's flying out of my mail.  

Then my daughter called me.  She is a very level headed woman that has held some pretty lofty positions in the entertainment industry in Hollywood.  She was right on the money when she said " How many resumes did you send out today" I responded gee, I don't know 10 or 12 I can even remember the names of the companies.  She said I want you to put down the laptop and listen to me.

Here is what she said.  A tragic thing happened to you today.  Your mind is reeling and you probably have a big case of anxiety and frustration.  You picture yourself living n a box under the overpass.  Your family thinks you are worthless, you think you are worthless, everyone in the world is against you.  Just drive off into the desert and die somewhere, the world will be better off.  All I could do was listen in amazement as she perfectly explained my state of mind.  She said I know because I have been then 3 times now.  Then came the words of wisdom.

She said: you are a talented individual.  It is unfortunate what happened but it did and anything you say or do isn't going to change it.  You cant cry over spilled milk, its gone!  You need to take a couple of days or even a couple of weeks and decompress.  You are not an Intel employee anymore.  You do not have deadlines and commitments to meet.  you don't have to sweat over all the work that was hanging over you head like an ax on a thread waiting to lop your head off. STOP, STOP and STOP.  Take a breath.  She asked " What do you want to do"  Do you want to go back to work so bad that you are willing to accept another job that you would be miserable in or do you want to take your time, think about your skills and how they could apply to the job that you really want.  This is your chance to reinvent yourself.  Everyone that loses their job goes through this exact feeling of "disconnected".  Take this time to reflect, don't think so hard about getting a job. Think hard about what I want to do.  I don't want some job at McDonalds or Walmart.  I want to work for the Forest service, or I want to have a job that allows me to be outside, I love highly technical things, I love golf, I love outdoor sports, I love target shooting, I love building motorcycles, I love wiring homes, I love technical problems that I can dig into and fix.  The point is I have many skills.  Those skills did not go away when I left my job of 28 years, but it sure felt that way.

No, No, No,  You are what you have always been.  A very talented person with skills that can be used in several areas that would accommodate exactly the job you want. Don't settle for a job that will just be a job.  Go for a job that will bring you some happiness.  I love sports, outdoors, meeting new people, fixing things, helping people, above all I love life regardless of what curve balls it throws at you.

Big Corporations don't care that you have a mortgage 3 kids and a car payment.  Stop being a victim and start being aggressive in getting what you want for a change.  Like a job you love.

Take a deep breath, relax, you are important, you are needed, you do have a place on earth and people rely on you to be strong.  Above all your family and friends Love you and honestly, any job or money cant buy that.

-kim