Lost in Translation
The sentence below seems straight forward. However, I ask that you read it, changing the emphasis of each word as you read, until you’ve moved the emphasis to each word in the sentence. The first time through, emphasize the first word, the second time, the second word and so on until you’ve reached the last word of the sentence. The last time through, emphasize every word.
“I didn’t steal that purse.”
There’s nothing to be misinterpreted here, right? As you just saw, there’s at least six different ways to read that sentence and it changes the context each time.
As a Leader, you have to consider how you word your message. You must consider the potential of misinterpretation. We are human, which means we have good days and bad. If someone is having a bad day, there is the possibility of misinterpretation and not to your benefit. You don’t want to turn people off or shut them down with a curt response or give the impression of being condescending or arrogant. But I would also submit to you, you have to consider the delivery method of your message. You can have the most sincere of intentions, but if the reader happens to be in a bad mood or feels you’re targeting them for some reason, the message just fell on deaf ears.
A Leader has to consider what they wish to accomplish with their message and whether that message will be appropriately received through email or if a voice to voice or face to face (even better) would better serve the purpose intended.
If there is any potential for emotion to be involved, there should be a minimum of voice contact, if not face to face. I heard a wise man once say, “Perception IS reality.” If the perception given is a lack of emotional control or a personal attack attached to their message, that is the receivers reality, regardless of the sender's intent.
This also holds true in those that choose to use multiple punctuation marks to “emphasize” their point. This is not only poor communication skill, it’s unprofessional. If you’re struggling to imagine what this refers to, the following is an example. When a person with positional authority sends an email that looks similar to “Why did this happen????????” or “Please explain this!!!!!!!!!!” is the reference made here.
When a message like that is sent, it reveals a few things. First and foremost, their not a Leader, their a boss and a pathetic attempt at one at that. Most managers or bosses worth their salt realize the importance of their people and the irreparable damage that can be done with one email temper tantrum as illustrated above. Those that value their people understand how this will be perceived and the destruction it will cause not only to their reputation, but their ability to be effective in the future.
Second, they have effectively taken themselves from competent and confident to arrogant and insecure. Arrogant in that they actually expect their people to tolerate being spoken to that way. If they spoke to someone like that in person, I’m guessing it would end poorly for them the vast majority of the time. Especially when dealing with a Type A/Alpha personality. Those are the types of conversations that usually end with an invitation from the recipient to step behind the building and “come to an understanding.” We laugh, but we all have names running through our minds of those we know that either would or did extend that invitation.
Insecure because they lack the confidence to simply ask. A Leader knows and trusts that when they ask a question of someone in their charge, that would relay their desire and need to know, thus provoking a response. When insecurity overtakes their ability to communicate appropriately and effectively, they have lost credibility, possibly for good.
It also shows an incredible lack of emotional intelligence and control. When they send the equivalent of shouting, they have lost control and are leading with emotion instead rational thought. A Leader is able to sit with their people and have tough conversations in a calm, adult manner. They leave emotion out of it and simply focus on the facts at hand. If there is emotion attached to it, a Leader puts it into perspective for their people so they understand where they're coming from while still maintaining control of themselves.
In order to be an effective Leader, you have to be able to communicate well. You have to be able rally the troops, so to speak, and bring them into alignment with the path to success. In part, that means taking the time to have face to face conversations. It means getting out of your chair and walking down the hall. It means picking up the phone and calling them so they can hear your tone and demeanor. I get it, we all have several things we want or need to accomplish during our day to stay on task and on time. But when those tasks come at the expense of your people and their willingness to follow you, the tasks become a moot point. When you invest the few minutes it takes to have a voice conversation with your people, the dividends are priceless.
Stay SAFE! -JR