The Lost Men (The Reality Big Media Won't Talk About)

Our societal norms are at an all-time low of bewilderment. One quick look at social media today and your 30-year-old self would be telling you that you are insane to think humanity would devolve to such a state. Yet here we are.

I'm going to talk about a subject that is sacrilege in many circles today. It appears that anything that is for the mental health, betterment, and empowerment of men must be some kind of misogynistic diatribe ripe with privilege and toxic masculinity.

But I am here to tell you, that men are hurting! And that they matter!

That's right! And it is at epidemic levels. But you won't hear that in the mainstream news. Why? Because that's not part of the narrative.?

It's a sad state when a post about men has to come with so many disclaimers and rationalizations to justify its purpose. Otherwise, it becomes a "mansplaining" article that has no validity or use in this progressive world.

Just because this is a pro-men, pro-equality, and pro-men's mental health post, does not mean it is anti-women or anti-LGBTQ+! This is about the current narrative and how it is creating more division and separation in our human experience.

The narrative must be at full volume about women "crushing it", being the boss babe, rocking her (yes I said "her") career, and making bank. Being independent, strong, fierce, and free from the oppressiveness of the patriarchy. For the most part, this is a very empowering message and every woman should strive to be in the fullest expression of who she is. But there is more at play here and I'll address it soon.

Next, every acronym in the rainbow is celebrated and championed to the point where any child and adult is heralded as brave, courageous, and a hero for questioning one's gender. At a time in a child's life when Santa Clause, The Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny are still very real to them.

There's one clear gender and orientation that's not allowed at the table.?To even point out the elephant in the room is now ripe for attack and vilified as wrong.

But at what cost??There's a truth here that's obvious if you seek it.

Girls are peppered with messages that they have "girl power", are unstoppable, and can achieve anything they can dream of. They even get the message that the patriarchy is in the way and boys are where it all begins. Again, for the most part, other than making boys the enemy, this is a worthy and encouraging message to give to young girls.

But what about the boys??

Boys are not getting the rah-rah speeches, the corporate engagement, sponsorship of wellness programs, and the media frenzy that says, "You matter!" No, they are perceived in our pop culture as "he's just a boy." A dim-witted mouth-breather, or a bully that is full of racist, homophobic rage for just questioning the narrative. They are conditioned to see their own gender as wrong or less-than. They are told the world is broken because of them. They can't express their full masculine nature out of fear of being shamed, and his very existence is toxic. How they dump that all on boys is beyond me.?

However, boys have been inundated with this message throughout the school system from kindergarten to university campuses, and pop culture for decades. And what happens to these boys? They grow up to be men. As a result, we now have a large swath of the male population dumbed down, conditioned to play small, overly cautious, uncertain, and confused as to what it means to be a man in today's world.

He's damned if he does and damned if he doesn't.?

So many men are lost in this woke world. The sad part is, there's no search party out looking for them either. There's zero concern for their wellbeing. There's no media coverage or alert to the masses that it's even happening.

So a lot of men are going through life in quiet desperation. They've lost their sense of utility, value, and purpose in the relationship and in a world gone mad with new "norms".

Suicide rates of men 18-54 have seen levels never imagined. Drug, alcohol, porn, and VR game addiction are through the roof! Men are checking out from a world they don't fit in.

By now you know the shift is real. Women are now more in their masculine energy (the energy they vilified for years) and men are in their feminine energy. This polarity shift is happening in relationships and dating everywhere and most still don't have a language for it. All they know is that they just can feel something is off and it's causing a lot of tension, resentment, and frustration in the relationship or connection.

But what about the mythical Alpha Male? You know, the one that gets all the bad press and hate speech that most men get lumped into?

Sure, there are alpha males out there. but let's be clear, a true alpha male is not the toxic loaf of misogyny that cheats any chance he gets that so many in the media and special interest groups would have you think.?

Toxic energy or being a jerk is not gender-specific. You can be an a**hole no matter whom you identify as. And there are a lot of them out there virtue signaling their toxicity loudly.

Yes, there are men that have cheated. But oddly enough there are a lot of women that have cheated too! But that doesn't get the media frenzy going! In fact, the tide has turned and the 2021 stats indicate that more women are stepping out of their relationships than men.

Yes, lives are turned upside down, but what about the true core reason for cheating? It is a symptom of a much bigger problem. There's an unmet need or desire. But instead of talking about it or dealing with it, they go to the energy they crave most. It's the masculine and feminine dance that's been happening for as long as we've been around. It has to do with the alpha and beta energy that's either missing or craved.

A true alpha male is a man that is typically cashed up, calm under pressure, a leader, focused, and on-point with his health and direction in life.?

But as the last two years have shown, he's a very rare breed indeed. He's increasingly under pressure to comply, obey and conform to societal standards that were once laughable and inconceivable just a few years ago.

Contrary to popular opinion the alpha male is what the world needs more of. He's assertive, decisive, a free-thinker, heart-centered and comfortable in his authentic masculine power. He's what many of today's empowered women crave and what most men aspire to be.

He has the ability to hold the space for the authentic masculine to come through so she feels the safety, security, and sexual tension she needs to truly let go of her masculine energy and be in the fullness of her feminine energy.

Ironically, the alpha male is a rare breed by design. The "nice guy" that society has put in his place is a caricature of his former self. Lost, insecure, and confused because that's what pop culture wants men to be. He realizes far too late that the "nice guy" persona doesn't play out well in the real world and especially in relationship dynamics. He's left more wanting and yearning for more but can never get there. Many "nice guys" are full of passive-aggressive tendencies and hidden agendas that lie under the surface.

Sadly, the division is getting wider between men and women as the last vestiges of the alpha male are banished to the wastelands. The chasm edges are so wide now that they fade out of sight in the haze. Almost like it was all planned as part of some absurd agenda.?

Gone are the days of the capable, strong, and resolute man that stood for his values and his family. A man that would stand in the face of tyranny, oppression, and lead from the front.?

Instead, he's been replaced by a much more malleable, controllable, weak, indecisive automaton that obeys, complies, and seeks validation from any source willing to give it. The system loves this brand of men. A man that they can chew up and spit out while only hearing a whimper.

What they didn't realize is that every imbalance seeks to balance itself. Like water seeking its own level, society is now realizing what happens when good men are excluded from the natural order of things. Leadership takes on less-than-leadership qualities, weakness becomes a virtue, hate and shaming others is celebrated, reliance on government grows, families fail, countries fail, and the individual is less than fulfilled.

In a world of lost men, it is vital we find them! More importantly, he finds himself.?It is time for good men to return to the conversation. It is time for the lion's heart to beat again, and it's time for men to roar for what matters most.

If you are lost, Brother, know that you are not alone. You are wanted and needed in this world.

You matter!

In every man, there's a champion to women and hero to children, and the noble warrior within. That's the man this world so desperately needs right now.?

Ignite the authentic masculine power within, it will illuminate your journey home.

You are not alone on the journey...I've got your back!

Dwayne Klassen

#TheCoachForMen

If this article resonated with you and you'd like to explore coaching with me to ignite your authentic masculine power and be the champion to the women in your life, a hero to your children, and a noble warrior to the world. DM me today or click this link to my calendar and let's set up your "Breakthrough Discovery Call". Let's have a powerful conversation about where you'd like a breakthrough. Then we can explore if we are a fit to work together. Spots are limited.