Lost or Liminal?

She closed the door behind her, locked it slowly, took a deep sigh and just stood there in the silence. It was dark. Late. She was the last to leave the shop, again.

Most would say that’s typical. After all, she owns the shop. It’s her baby. She started the business 10 years ago. A success by anyone's standards.

But the baby has lost favor with her.

“What’s going on with me?” she asked herself. It’s been a question that’s been traveling with her for weeks now. She’s successful. She’s in an industry she loves. Her work is respected by her staff, her customers, and her family.

She's wrestling with what Arthur C. Brooks, in his book Strength to Strength, identifies as the "Striver's Curse" - a hidden source of anguish among those who have done well in their careers. She strove to be excellent at what she did and is now finding her inevitable decline terrifying. Her successes are increasingly unsatisfying and her relationships lacking.

But she stands there in the dark silence. Still hasn’t pulled out the key from the lock. It starts to drizzle...

The Liminal Space

She’s wrestling with a phenomenon most of us deal with in our 40’s and 50’s. It’s the pause after the hustle. It’s those hints of hesitation we feel after building and succeeding at something.

Some have labeled it the midlife crisis. But labels are dangerous, aren't they? I don’t like this label in particular. It makes too big an assumption that we all go through the same thing in the same way.

"Oh, you're just going through a midlife crisis, that's all."

It may be in the mid of life. It may be a crisis. But everyone is unique. You there, reading this article, are unique. No one will wrestle with this hard-to-define stage like you do.

You’re in a liminal space. It’s that place where all the hustle of your 20’s and 30’s has slowed down and your next big thing hasn’t yet come into view.

Take heart. There is light at the end of the liminal space.

The Context

Step back. Like with every problem or dilemma, there is context.

There is always context.

Here is part so the context for you, if you’re wrestling with this crisis:

• You’re not alone. Although every crisis is experienced differently, you’re not the only one on earth who has ever had hints of hesitation.
• You’re not going crazy. The fact that you are wrestling is a good sign that you’re in fact normal.
• You have a future. You possess all the ingredients, as a GenXer, to leverage for your next stage of life and make it fantastic. Stop listening to the “over the hill” gang. Don’t give in to the “lordy lordy, look who’s forty” crowd. You are on the precipice of a wild adventure known as “Your Fourth Quarter” (your 60's and 70's).

Did you read that clearly?

You are on the precipice of a wild adventure known as “Your Fourth Quarter”.

There is a way to escape the "Striver's Curse." To design a 4th quarter that is not only not disappointing, but happier and more meaningful than the preceding quarters.

If you want to travel with others who are having their own hints of hesitation and do life with them while discovering the recipe for all the ingredients you possess, let me know. I and some of my best friends, old and new, are formulating a community of people just like you who are making real, lasting progress. We are learning from the sages and wisdom leaders such as Chip Conley, Arthur Brooks, Jesus Christ, and James Clear. Adventure with us.

Email me if you're interested in learning more about THE COMMUNITY:

[email protected]

Thanks for reading this issue. I truly appreciate it and wish you all the best as you navigate your GenX life!

Podcast NEW

My story

Want to have a conversation?