Lost and Found

I vividly remember walking the rows and rows of flowers in a panic.

Up, down, up, down. Where is she?

My outward appearance is now changing, and I start to cry.

I was 6 or 7 at the time.

“Where is she?” I think to myself again. ?

A few minutes go by, anxiety is in full force.

I start to scream with tears streaming down my face.

“MOM!” I yell.

After what feels like a century, I spot her in the doorway of the store.?

Instant relief.

Gratitude.

A familiar awareness.

If you have ever been physically or emotionally lost, you know this feeling.

Not knowing what to do can cause panic.

This next story is hard to share, but I want to show you impact.

How you can be lost and found.

Tom

Tom and I met at church.

He sat a couple of pews in front of me to the right.

I smiled at him during mass.

During church, however, I noticed that he was struggling to find his way.

Our church is large and not easy to navigate.

He made it back to a pew near me and sat patiently for the mass to end.

When it was over, I felt inclined to walk up to Tom and say hello.

He made a funny joke about not having anything with him to save his spot.

“I only have my rosary!” he smiled.

Sensing that something was still wrong, I simply asked, “Are you okay?”

I will never forget the look he gave me.

With a straight face and a look that I can only describe as increasing panic, he started looking around.

The anxiety is increasing.

“A little bit of dementia,” he mutters to me.

I now look around as well and notice that Tom is alone.

He proceeds to tell me that his son is going to be picking him up.

While I’m not sure if he remembers where that is, he mentions coffee and donuts.

Tom starts to walk out of church towards a group of people and a woman stops us.

“Are you with him?” she asks.

Not sure how to respond, I nod my head.

Her eyes light up and she smiles at Tom. She murmurs to him about her concern during mass.

We continued on our way to coffee and donuts.

I additionally saw a friend in church as well and let her know that Tom and I were going to spend some time together.

With coffee and donuts now in hand, I asked again about his son.

“Do you know where your son is going to be picking you up?”

He gestures towards a door, and we make our way there.

I asked him to join me on a bench and we sat for a while to wait.

I started to make a mental checklist of how I could find his son or who to call if I couldn’t.

I probe Tom to tell me about himself.

Tom shares with me about bits and pieces of his life. A beautiful story even if pieced together.

He shares his joys and his sorrows.

The woman from earlier appears and smiles again. I’ll never forget the look on her face either.

After a couple of attempts to call his son, we managed to find him.

I walk up to his son and we both simply nod.

A nod of mutual gratitude.

Earlier in our conversation, Tom muttered something to me about where he would like to be buried.

I didn’t think much of it at the time.

He looks at his son and I, “I want to show you something.”

We make our way to a memorial garden accompanied by a Columbarium near the church.

Wanting Tom and his son to have a private moment, I step to the side and watch. I took a picture. Of Tom and his son. Of the flowers.

His son looks at me and simply asks, “Do you like flowers?”

I replied that I do and asked him for his favorite.

“Lillies,” he takes a deep breath.

Overhearing the conversation, Tom starts to shuffle his way towards the car.

“Roses,” I hear him reply.

I started to walk to my car and his son shook my hand.

“You know the hardest part?” he takes a deep breath again.

“Letting God be God,” he replies to his own question.

I let that sink in for a moment realizing how applicable it was to my life.

His son and I exchange numbers and I sit in my car for a moment.

I texted my friend.

I repeated the mantra, ‘Let God be God.’

A little while later I saw a text from an unknown number.

Tom’s son.

He explained a bit further why he wasn’t in mass with Tom and some of his family struggles.

At the end, however; he noted:

“My role is simple. I’m here to do what needs to be done.”

I’ll let you digest that story for a moment.

I share this story to bring awareness, but also a self-reflection.

·?????? Do you feel lost?

·?????? Have you asked anyone to help you find your way?

·?????? Have you ever been found?

Regardless of how you answered those questions, I hope you know that others are here to help.

To walk with you in the struggles

To help even for just a moment

As I think back to times where I have been lost and Tom, I also feel gratitude.

Gratitude for the people who have helped me whether they have known it or not.

So, as you go into your Friday and this weekend:

Be present.

Be aware.

If you feel inclined, repeat “Let God be God.”

You may just help yourself or someone else be Found.

Just a Note