Lost in the fog, a different type of reflection.

Each year I sit down and look at my business and reflect … What have I achieved? What have I learnt? How are the finances? Have I created enough new personal work? … all the usual elements that as creative business owners we need to be thinking about, so as to grow, develop and move forward.

… this year though I’m doing things differently …

As we head towards the end of the first working week back in the new year, I wanted to take a chance to reflect on where I was this time last year mentally.

I’d come off the back of having a really strong year within my business during the first year that Covid hit and was fortunate to be in a position of relative comfort knowing that things were still moving forwards and work was coming in. I could pay all my bills, my wife and dog were happy and those close to me were all healthy.

What I wasn’t prepared for though, was to be hit by the ‘January blues’ for the first time in my life.

Those who know me, know that I am an incredibly positive and optimistic person. I am definitely a ‘glass half full’ kind of person and no matter what life throws, I always try to find the goodness in it.

Last January was different, something I’d never experienced. What ensued was a month of mental isolation that crept up on me and took hold. Yes my personal and business life was great, but suddenly we were back in another Lockdown and those very short days of light got the better of me. Before I knew it, I was spending my working days seemingly staring in to the abyss without any direction.

I was working from home last January during the lockdown and I will be honest, I had a lot of days where I found myself literally laying on my lounge floor looking at the wall.

In short, I now realise that I was suffering from depression and I can openly tell people that.

What helped me no end was looking outside of my professional working life and reconnecting with the things that mattered. I found comfort in the simple things like working on my house renovation, walking the dog with my wife, reading a book, cooking a nice meal … all things that I think I might of taken for granted and not fully appreciated because mentally for the last 12 years since I graduated university I’ve been working flat out trying to ‘succeed’ within the creative industry.

Like the seasons change, so did my mood and come early February I was back in a much clearer mind space and back more like my positive self.

What I wanted to say with this post is that no matter how strong we think we are, we can all easily struggle with mental health issues and sometimes we don’t even realise it.

Talking to those around me has helped me no end and made me realise just how strong and loving those within my circle of life are. Their support and love is always there for me and people are always there to talk.

Starting this new year, I am in a much better place mentally and feel so refreshed and excited for what the year has to come. In short I feel like I've learned so much about myself and my mind over this last year and have been able to keep enjoying all these small moments in life that sometimes I'd taken for granted. I feel much better prepared for the curveballs that life often likes to throw at us.

If I can offer one thought of advice for the year 2022, it would be to reach out to those you hold close to your hearts. It might seem like you’re alone, but a friend is never far from hand to offer some light in to your life.

Old and new aquiantances, say hi ... there's always someone here to talk to if you're struggling.

Take care friends,

Phil