The Lost Art of Asking for Directions

I have written about this before - social interactions and our false belief that people desire to stay in their own bubble and not interact with each other. It was met with some praise and some skepticism. Decided that this story validated my earlier experience and wanted to share

My wife and I were walking the dog the other day when an older gentleman that was driving by stopped me to ask for directions. It was a simple question, how to get to a local eatery. The discussion turned into him asking me my opinion of said eatery and if there were other perhaps better options available. Obviously seeing me walking a dog likely meant that I was a local and perhaps had an opinion (I did). But what struck me was the fact that they even asked at all. After all, we live in an age where there’s a GPS in every pocket, AI at the ready to answer any question, and a search engine standing by to fill in the gaps. Why ask me when they could just ask their phone? Google provides restaurant reviews as do a dozen other sites, Apple/Google maps will get you there with turn by turn directions......

But here’s the thing: They didn’t just want directions. They wanted connection and even an opinion from a biased source.

We’re living through a moment where human interaction is becoming VERY optional. You can order your groceries, hail a ride, and even consult a doctor, all without actually speaking to a single person. The friction is disappearing, which is great for convenience and if you suffer from social anxiety but not so great for our human social wiring. We are, at the core, social beings. We’re built to communicate, to exchange glances, to make small talk. Yet the more streamlined and technology assisted our lives become, the fewer chances we have for those seemingly insignificant but actually essential moments of human connection.

Why Human Interaction Still Matters

Asking for directions from a stranger is not just about finding the fastest route. It’s about acknowledging another person’s existence. It’s about the micro-moment of eye contact, the shared vulnerability of needing help, the trust involved in expecting a genuine answer. These small social exchanges build the muscle of human connection. And like any muscle, if you don’t use it, it weakens.

When we stop talking to each other, we lose more than just the sound of someone’s voice. We lose the ability to handle discomfort, to navigate ambiguity, to read the subtext in someone’s tone or body language. We lose the capacity to tolerate people who think or act differently from us. And ultimately, we lose the chance to form the kind of social bonds that hold communities and even civilizations together.

How to Rebuild the Habit of Talking to Strangers

So how do we push back against this drift toward isolation? Start small.

• Give a compliment to a stranger. Not forced or awkward, just something simple, like “Nice jacket” or “That’s a great dog.”
• I challenge my kids and mentees to have a single random interaction with a stranger once a day (they are in their 20's so don't start with the Stranger Danger)
• Hold the door for someone and actually make eye contact. It’s not about politeness; it’s about acknowledging that another human being occupies the same space you do. YES in the new world of hyper sensitivity this could backfire and it has for me a few times but a casual smile and wishing the person a nice day usually defuses any fabricated nonsense.
• Ask for help even when you don’t strictly need it. Sure, you can Google the answer, but the point isn’t efficiency, it’s interaction. Sometimes a local has a better option, a random person has a point of view.
• Join the small talk. Comment on the weather while waiting in line. Make a joke while standing in the COSTCO checkout line. It’s not about the content, it’s about the connection.

Technology Isn't the Enemy, Apathy Is

It’s easy to blame phones and AI for the breakdown in human interaction, but technology isn’t the problem. A phone in your hand doesn’t stop you from saying hello to the person next to you. What’s stopping us is the growing belief that connection isn’t necessary. That efficiency is more valuable than humanity (it';s not)

But that stranger asking for directions reminded me that we still need connection. The technology is here to stay. But so is our wiring as social creatures. I felt pretty good about my recommendation to this gentleman and I wish him well and hope he has a good meal at an even better (IMO) restaurant than he had originally planned. We just have to remember that the shortest distance between two people isn’t a search engine or a GPS. It’s a conversation.