LOST IN AMAZEMENT

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THE HORSE GUY?

Coaching with Horses?

Story #121

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LOST IN AMAZEMENT

When it's over, I want to say all my life

I was a bride married to amazement.

I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms…

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.

( From When Death Comes, by Mary Oliver)

This morning I walk out into the crisp Fall air. It is windy. Sparrows work hard to secure their footing on the bird feeders. I hear the sound of the Lake Michigan surf, just a hundred yards down from where I stand. When the wind is right — coming in from the north east — the waves slam into our shore. It’s an amazing sound, a surprising symphony that drowns out other sounds of wind, cars and planes overhead. It reminds me of the ocean surf from when we lived in Southern California.

I check the Bird Migration Dashboard each morning for another hit of amazement. Sponsored by Cornell University’s Ornithology Lab, you simply type in the county where you live and the radar-enhanced dashboard tells you how many birds flew over your county over night. My number: 645,000 birds between 8 pm - 6 am. The most I’ve seen reported is just under 4,000,000. Overnight. While I slept. My backyard birds go quiet when the sun goes down. I mistakingly assumed all birds went quiet. Not so much. Turns out there is a migration party at 2400 feet altitude.

I spent time with my adult daughter back east recently. One day she was showing her hand made candles at an art show. As I helped her set up she turned and asked me, “Do you remember telling me to find something I loved doing and get good at it? That’s what I’ve been doing. Art is one of those things.” A tear welled up in my eyes.?We never know what will stick, do we?

I notice it takes less and less to amaze me these days. This is a good trend, I think. A few days ago following a rain I was walking one of our horses back into the barn. The stone path has a hill in it. Mesa walked quickly. I said to her, “Slow down, the stones are slippery, I am slipping.” She immediately slowed down and needed no further reminders. Like I said, little things amaze me.

Years ago after finishing graduate school I participated in an activity that would shape my life. The assignment was to write a 50 page journal on those moments where I had done something that left me feeling exited, fully engaged and enthusiastic. Large accomplishments or small, it did not matter. I wrote 200 pages. We then analyzed each, looking for the underlying themes. I was genuinely surprised — amazed — to find a clear pattern of 5-7 elements present in virtually all of these high moments. Every time I stumbled into an experience where these elements were present I lit up.

I have built my life since then around these 5-7 elements.

James Hillman, in his book The Soul’s Code, suggests there is a unique soul that guides each of us into the life we must lead. It steers us into those moments designed for us. I have anecdotal evidence confirming this! I am no longer building snow forts in the dead of winter like I did as a boy in western New York State. Or building river rafts to ride on swollen rivers in the spring. I’m not jumping out of airplanes in Fort Benning, Georgia like I did as a teen ager and young adult. I have left behind my days of racing my Porsche on a road course on Lime Rock track in Connecticut. I sold my motorcycle earlier this summer. Something else calls for me.

I’m sitting in a paddock with four horses describing a client experience they will help with in the morning. They periodically lift their heads from the hay bin as if listening carefully to me. Mesa walks a over for a closer look, resting her nose on my arm. Durango meanders over next, not wanting to miss out on anything but careful not to get in Mesa’s way. Learning to be in relationship with these magnificent animals is an amazing process. It builds on everything I’ve done earlier in my life while challenging me to go deeper into myself for those areas where I am still blocked, not yet whole.

There is a sweet tenderness in these large and powerful beings that is hard to describe. The connection is more felt than understood. It brings things together rather than divides. In the world today this is a good thing, isn’t it? I hope you taste it one day for yourself. All you will need is one taste!

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