The Loss of a Child Does Not Make You Less Than a Mother

In the tragic situations where a child does not come to full term or soon dies after birth, does not make a mother less than any other mothers. Recalling a death of a child years ago, I attended the open casket funeral of this precious little boy who came into the world premature, and died minutes after birth. Perfect he looked, and the mother was so distraught. As the days passed, she became saddened more and more. Once a pregnant mother, and now feeling she was an empty transport vesicle that bore life for only a moment in time, she felt lost and despondent. However, that first year, and maybe the year after I sent her a Mother’s day card to honor her motherhood. Today, although we are not close anymore, I think of her and her first born son every year.

The loss of her child did not make her less than a mother. True, she did not get to hold her baby and watch him crawl. True, she did not get to see him take his first steps, but that did not make her less than a mother. A mother is a mother at the moment she decides that she wants the baby in her womb. From that point on, she is a mother no matter if the baby survives or not. Therefore, if you know someone who lost a child, whether today or ten years ago, wish them a Happy Mother’s Day.

This leads me to tell you about how some mama’s shift the focus of the love they had for theirchild to create good in other areas. For example, Siobhan Neilland, CEO of a Fortune 500 consulting business and Founder of OneMama.org, lost a baby many years ago. This tiny angel spoke to her and led her to Uganda to a village where a midwife, Mama Jamira, assisted these mamas who traveled miles to receive assistance in their birthing process. Moved by these women who struggled with poverty living on less than a dollar a day, Siobhan founded the OneMama organization to support mamas and their babies.

She became a mother to thousands of children in her philanthropy by assisting them and their mamas in creating sustainable environments filled with JOY! To learn more about how she funded such an organization and how she overcome post-traumatic stress disorder from a challenging childhood being raised in a cult, read her new book. There are stories that you will likely not believe. Instead, you will think it a story made up for a movie on Lifetime channel. Yet, Siobhan’s story is real and just like so many other mothers out there, their love for the children born, unborn, and passed, that mother’s love still lingers and longs to be rechanneled.

In Siobhan’s case, that love was rechanneled into other mama’s babies to create happiness. The mamas in Uganda learn agricultural trades to grow foods to enrich their diets for themselves and their children. The mamas learn economic trade skills to make products to sell locally and internationally to bring in their own income which makes them self-sufficient for their families. Additionally, Siobhan assists them in building and maintaining birthing clinics and health clinics to keep the families safe from malaria, HiV, ebola, and more.

If you have ever loved a child, then maybe you can show other mothers how they, too, can have a life where they can worry less about the health of their babies, worry less about how they are going to put food in their mouths. The way to reach out to these mothers is by supporting the OneMama organization by donations, purchasing clothing or jewelry, offer your time and talents, and investing in your copy of the book “I Gave Birth to a Child I Didn’t Know I Had” perfect for mother’s day as an e-book or as a printed paperback with full-color photos.

The links to consider channeling your love for children this mother’s day include:

https://www.OneMama.org The OneMama site where clothing and jewelry may be secured for your own personal use. As an avid supporter, I am frequently seen wearing my OneMama beads on stages!

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1941499023?pldnSite=1 A paperback book may be acquired. However, if you sign up for Amazon Smiles which adds another charitable donation to the organization or foundation of your choice for any purchases made on Amazon. All you have to do is sign up and it is free to participate.

Or, for mother’s day, if you are a prime member on Amazon receive a free copy of the ebook, and if you are not a prime member secure your copy at https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00NI360LY  Again, using Amazon Smiles will allow you to choice which organization receives an additional donation.

Remember, every mother is a mother from the day she wants the child she had within her. Whether she brings the child to full term or is only pregnant a short time, she is that child's mother. When a child dies, a mother does not stop being a mother. Honor all the mothers on Mother’s Day.

Andrea Adams-Miller, CEO of The RED Carpet Connection Publishing, Publicity, & Talent Agency, wrote this piece in honor of all the women she had known who have lost a child for whatever reason. If you are struggling with the loss of a child, get help from a professional or at least reach out to a friend. Mothers do not have to mourn alone. You matter, let someone love you while you grieve and know that grief never goes away. It might subside once in a while, but your child’s memory will never go away and with people like me, I am glad to hear your story as when you share the loss of your child with me know that they live within my heart, too. May you find solace in remembering your children.