Losing sight of you goal
How to start over when something fails
There’s a pretty good chance you’re examining a series of steps to accomplish a task right now:
·????? Using a map app.
·????? Digesting information as you onboard a new position.
·????? Following directions to put together furniture that ‘requires assembly.’
While not every step may be critical, there are some instructions that work best when done in a particular order. If you’re in a rush, you may toss out the directions. Until you wind up lost or with something that doesn’t work! Sitting with kids assembling a complicated Lego set, I have observed something I can totally relate to: those who pull out the directions and keep them handy find the construction far less frustrating. Totally makes sense to me. It’s tough to build a car with wheels when you don’t have them in the right place.
A very long time ago my mother enrolled me in a 4-H class so that I could learn how to sew. She had amazing wisdom. Sewing, by hand or machine, taught me that even with a pattern things don’t always line up correctly. The answer? Rip it apart and begin again, finding the place where you made a mistake and correcting it so the sleeve actually opens!
This ability to start over became clear to me at the age of 9. When I stay open to rebooting, it serves me well. A reminder that things aren’t permanent, and that I have the power to shift.
THIS WEEK’S INSIGHT
Losing sight of your goal
Tom landed his new role and thought he’d positioned himself well for success. He made it through an arduous interview process, negotiated what he believed was a great offer and connected well with his new leadership partners.
In our coaching sessions he shared his enthusiasm as he helped establish his own onboarding, working closely with colleagues, and insisting on a hands-off approach with his team.
After 90 days, I noticed that what I was hired to do and what I agreed to do isn’t what I’m working on! I’m super frustrated.
We explored what he feels he is responsible for - and how that might impact his level of frustration.
As director of this team, I believed I would be in charge of collaborating with my direct reports to assign tasks that would be done autonomously. But in our team meetings, my reports aren’t on the same page. They are demanding more explanation and input, which compromises my style of leadership. I don’t want to hold their hands!
I wondered,
So, what do you want, Tom?
After taking a deep breath, Tom acknowledged that his view of his role and his team’s view of his role were not in sync.
I really do want to be a successful director, and I want my team to know I have their back. But being a creative/out of the box leader, I’m not good with giving such detailed instructions for a task they should know how to do.
Hmm, what would it take for you to get on the same page with your team?
Go back to my desire to have us all win, rather than be seen as a powerhouse leader.
And what would that look like?
Listening and finding out what kinds of resources and time and support they need to accomplish their tasks. I have some relationship-building to do.
THIS WEEK’S TOOL
How to start over when something fails
Whether using a map, building a table or working with colleagues - you will face moments when things simply don’t go as planned.
In my experience I’ve learned that instead of throwing in the towel, I have the choice to return to a ‘misstep,’ and then decide if I am ready for a course correction. Here are three questions that might help you start over.
My takeaway
It’s easy to lose sight of a goal you set for yourself or for your team.
Instead of beating yourself up, refusing to see what’s happened or pretend it didn’t happen, what would happen if you took a few steps backward?
When you remember why you created this goal in the first place and acknowledge where you missed a critical step - you are in a position to change the situation.
Creating the space to recognize what you really want, you have the opportunity to course correct in real time. Trust me, I walked through all these steps this morning!
Mistakes are the portal of discovery.
James Joyce