Losing Presence

In this edition of the Leading With Presence Newsletter, I share a personal story about how presence can sometimes be elusive. I reflect on my recent experiences, hoping they inspire you to deepen your own presence.

Excitement and Frustration

As I write, life has been unusually chaotic. Normally tied to my computer for online coaching, training, and supervision, I'm soon travelling to the UK for a unique workshop with a group of learners. This event isn't just a training session but a bespoke workshop, reunion, and retreat all rolled into one. I should be buzzing with excitement—and I am!

However, in the run-up to the trip, I've felt overwhelmed. My growing to-do list, fatigue, and self-annoyance for not being more organised have clouded my excitement. Here I am, supposed to be preparing for a fantastic four-day experience, yet I'm caught up in frustration and stress. And I should know better!

Impact

What's the impact, you ask? My mind has been scattered, thinking, "I'll never get through all of this." This overwhelm has made every task feel more burdensome, my body tense and stiff, and I've found myself a bit more irritable with those around me. The thought of doing something enjoyable, like playing the saxophone or going for a run, becomes another source of frustration because "I don't have the time to spare!"?

So, how much presence do you think I've managed to maintain?

I'm Human

Just because I'm a coach and understand the value of presence doesn't mean I've mastered it. I'm human, after all.

However, years of self-work have helped me recognise my patterns. For instance, my need to complete everything on my to-do list stems from an old belief that I need to prove I'm dependable and that I’m enough. This is my ego, suggesting I need to be seen as a martyr and that life needs to be hard. I'll convince myself that "I should do" more than I actually need to do.

Recognising this, I took a moment to ground myself, reconnect with empowering beliefs like "I am enough," "I am lovable," and "I am present." This helped my body relax, cleared my mind, and I could prioritize my tasks more effectively.

Patterns, Script, and Ego

One recurring pattern is deferring rest or play because "there's too much to do." We've all been there, right? Skipping lunch or postponing exercise. This time, because I was able to ground myself, I chose differently.

Prioritising downtime, I went for a run, which refreshed and focused me. Being present during the run—feeling the wind, hearing the sounds around me—helped my mind sort through what was next on my list and how to tackle it efficiently.

What’s the Learning?

Reflecting on this experience, here are my key takeaways:

• Life is a work in progress. Embracing presence isn't a one-time task.
• Understanding your patterns and triggers is crucial for awareness that enables meaningful change.
• Prioritising self-care isn't indulgent; it's essential. It recharges your energy and increases your effectiveness.

As you read my story, what insights have you gained about yourself?

Meditation

Below is a short audio meditation focused on affirmations "I am enough," "I am lovable," and "I am present."

Final Thoughts

Developing the ability to recognise when you lose presence and how to regain it is like strengthening a muscle. The more you practice, the more resilient and prepared you'll be for life's challenges.

Keep in Touch

I hope you've found value in this edition of The Leading with Presence newsletter. What patterns have you noticed in your life? How do you bring yourself back to presence? Please share in the comments below.

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