Losing a Pet during Social Distancing

It is very difficult to think through all the consequences we could be experiencing during this health crisis. We all kind of knew or heard that when patients die of the virus, they die alone. But it’s challenging and unrealistic to think through all the scenarios that this situation could affect.

We just lost our dog Rhondo. We adopted him from the Humane Society 11 years ago and he was the best companion anybody could have wished for. He was also our first dog, so we had no roadmap of losing a pet other than anticipating pain and sorrow, knowing that the day would come.

Rhondo was healthy up until about 2 weeks ago and then he developed wounds on his elbows which we were told were common in older dogs. We used medication and ointments, laser therapy and acupuncture and probably spent all the money that we will get from the stimulus package on vet bills. We didn’t care, we loved this dog because he was truly part of our family.

The first time we realized that things had really changed in our pet world was when we were not allowed into the vet’s office. We parked the car in the parking lot, opened the trunk and the technician would get Rhondo and bring him back. All the consultations happened over the phone.

Then things took a turn for the worse for Rhondo over the weekend and it became apparent that there must be underlying conditions causing all the swelling and wounds. After consulting with the vet over the phone on Sunday morning and finding out that his white blood cell count almost quadrupled, we made the hard decision to put him out of his misery the next day (Monday).

We told our son and daughter in-law to came in through a side door of our house to say good-by to him but we couldn’t gather and hug to console each other, especially due to the fact that our daughter in-law is an ICU nurse and exposed to the virus on a daily basis. She hasn’t been tested so we need to be super careful.

I sat with Rhondo all day Sunday, crying. You can ask my friends, my family and people who know me well. I don’t live “close to the water”, I hardly ever cry, but I was literally sobbing. My husband was more collected on Sunday only to have a complete meltdown on Monday when he dropped Rhondo off at the vet. Yes, we had to drop him off because you can’t go into the vet’s office any more!

Rhondo knew the vet, everybody in the practice loved him and he really didn’t mind going there because they gave him tons of treats, so I’m sure he thought this was just another vet visit and not his final passage.

Since the time our dog passed, my husband and I have cried probably every hour, sometimes for a bit, sometimes silently, other times loudly bawling.

The condolence messages pored in as soon as we made the announcement and one of our friends said

“Oh gosh, this must be so much harder during times like these”

which really made me think.

After some reflection I came to the conclusion that I’m not sure it was harder. There was this underlying sadness that lingered in our house for the last 3 weeks. Hearing all the concerning news, getting daily alerts and knowing that some people are better off than others is just upsetting and it raises your overall anxiety level. Maybe Rhondo’s death gave us permission to let it all out. I’m not sure if I would have allowed myself to cry for hours during normal times. Maybe I would have, maybe I wouldn’t. We will never find out. All I know is that a lot of pent-up and stored sadness came out during this last weekend and I not only cried for my beloved pet but also for the world, knowing that things will never be the same. And that’s not to say that there won’t be positive developments and more awareness coming out of this. I strongly believe that we will overcome and hopefully be more aware. But in the meantime, let’s all cry a bit for the people who lose loved ones without having the ability to be by their side. Let’s send thoughts to the healthcare workers who risk their lives every day and let’s be more in touch with ourselves to become more loving and compassionate.