Losing My Religion: Chapter 9 - Two goats will decide our fate!

In this week's article of #LosingMyReligion series, I am posting the entire Chapter 9, where two goats will decide the fate of Rishi & Alex who are facing dire consequences for their misadventure in Malana, the mysterious Himalayan hamlet! Will they be banished or thrown down the river with a huge stone tied to their legs? Yes, the punishment is that grave! Read it now and see how the story unfolds.

CHAPTER 9

‘Two goats will decide our fate?’ asked Rishi, when he overheard Ram Singh instructing Laxman to find a brawny goat to defeat the complainant’s goat.

‘Yes, sirji.’

‘Whoa! That’s insane. I wanna call the cops. Police,’ demanded Alex.

The priest heard the word police. ‘Police or outside rules do not apply in Malana. It has been like this for two thousand years. You will be on trial according to the judiciary of Malana. No police.’

Rishi understood the last two words and felt like bashing the man’s skull. ‘No police? What kind of a place is this?’ he shouted, losing his cool. This was becoming a serious affair.

‘There is police. That guy is police,’ said Ram Singh, and pointed to a frail man wearing a faded khaki uniform, with a lathi in his hand. He was chewing tobacco and smoking a beedi.

‘I’m police,’ said the man in Hindi. ‘This case is no case for police. Gurr is judge here.’

The crowd applauded. The policeman raised both his hands and acknowledged their appreciation. What a fricking circus!

‘Ram Singh, there has to be someone who can help us.’

‘No, sirji. Look at crowd. We no do anything now. We go to Chhabe Pona,’

‘What on earth is Chhabe Pona?’

‘Because they reach no decision on what to do, the people want to appeal in Darbar of God, which is Chhabe Pona. They will bring one goat and you will bring one goat. Goats tied on two sides of stage and covered with cloth. Gurr will sing songs and put rice in goat’s ears. The goat who move first, loses. It will be cut and thrown into stream. Winner goat is cut and give to all here. Winning goat’s party wins case. Decision is final,’ shared Ram Singh.

‘They can’t be serious. How can a pair of dumb goats decide our case? If I’m correct, Gurr is the person who is possessed by Jamlu Devta. How can he possibly be in his senses while puttin’ rice in the ears of the animals?’ questioned Alex.

‘This is Malana, Alexji. I tell you every time be careful . . .’

‘What’s a possible punishment?’ asked Rishi, hoping to prepare for the worst.

‘One, they throw you out of village. Then you never come here.’

‘That doesn’t sound so bad. We’ll simply never return,’ said Alex, looking hopeful.

‘The other?’ asked Rishi.

‘The other, they tie huge stone on you and push you into river.’

‘What?’ said Rishi and Alex together. They were dumbstruck.

‘You can’t be bloody serious!’ said Alex.

‘I very serious, Alexji. They do it in Malana. And they hold bad feelings for you.’

Drums and loud noises could now be heard from the corner. Everyone turned towards the street to find two hefty, decorated goats being followed by a group of Malanis playing drums. Children ran helter-skelter, cheering and whistling; it was a celebration for them. Laxman was holding Rishi’s goat. It was well-built, Rishi noted with relief. But the opponent’s goat was equally muscular. The entire population of Malana was present to witness a scene they had not seen in a long time.

The goats were produced before the Gurr. One was for the village council and the other for the accused. The Gurr offered prayers to Jamlu Devta for over ten minutes while drums played in the background and then covered the goats with a piece of cloth.

Rishi and Alex were made to sit on their knees beside their goat. ‘Never thought I would see such a day,’ said Rishi sitting next to the goat.

Because of the sound of drums, their goat got nervous and urinated. ‘Mother of God! It only gets better,’ added Alex as he tried to move away. The men who had complained sat alongside the other goat.

The Gurr recited hymns to the Gods and started putting rice grains into the ears of the goats. Everyone stood watching in complete silence.

‘Don’t flinch, don’t flinch,’ muttered Alex. Their goat was looking strong until suddenly it flinched and shook its body vigorously, as though struck by lightning.

They lost. The crowd cheered.

They looked at each other in disbelief. Alex swallowed hard, and said ‘We’re screwed!’

***

There were fierce discussions in the jury and various people spoke.

‘They want to give you strong punishment to make other tourist learn from you. They want to scare everyone who visit Malana. They say it’s no right. School teacher speak for you but he no convince them. Look, saab, on one hand tourist welcome, they bring money. On other hand, they no want tourist to dirty their civilization. They are now talking this only,’ Ram Singh explained.

‘Debatin’ over the punishment? Are they seriously considerin’ throwin’ us down the river?’ asked Alex, drops of sweat beading his face.

‘Every option they see. These people no care for Indian law. No one know if they push you down river. It just become pahadi kahaani and scare all tourist.’

‘We haven’t done anything criminal. Can’t we convince them somehow?’ asked Rishi.

‘Saab, they talk about that only. But many tourist come now, so they want to be strict. And they say you do many many crime. Steal and temple damage. Too much Rishiji, Too much. They say they sure Alexji steal charas. You no touch their charas, never.’

‘That’s ridiculous. What about some other policeman? Can we not inform Inspector Dogra somehow?’ asked Alex.

‘No, sirji. No other policeman in Malana. This place, self-govern, self-rule. Dogra no reach.’

Rishi and Alex cursed the day they had decided to visit Malana.

***

By now it had started getting dark but the elderly man had still not pronounced his verdict.

Rishi and Alex waited to hear from Ram Singh whom they had sent to find out what was taking so long.

‘They continue tomorrow. No result now. We three lock in guesthouse tonight,’ Ram Singh shared on coming back.

‘Can’t we just run?’ asked Alex.

‘No, sirji. No do that. No one escape valley.’

On his way back to the guesthouse, Rishi recalled what Viren had said that night at the pub. “The idea sounds fun, but it could turn into a disaster before you know it.” How your words are coming true, Viren!

They were locked up in the room. Everyone sat silently at different corners.

They had to think fast. They had to act.

*** [End of Chapter 9]

Read the previous parts of this series here:

• Prologue of 'Losing My Religion.'
• Losing My Religion: Chapter 1 - Broken Entrepreneur
• Losing My Religion: Chapter 2 - Show me a way forward
• Losing My Religion: Chapter 3 - Enter Alex
• Losing My Religion: Chapter 4 - Adventure Begins in the Himalayas
• Losing My Religion: Chapter 5 - Oh, the mysterious Malana Valley!
• Losing My Religion: Chapter 6 - Behind every man, there is a love story
• Losing My Religion: Chapter 7 & 8 - Trouble in the mountains

If you want to get a copy of the book, here are some quick links

• Amazon - Buy paperback in India
• Flipkart - Buy paperback in India
• Amazon eBook - Global

 You can also learn more about the book on my website - VishwasMudagal.com