Losing My Religion: Chapter 1 - Broken Entrepreneur

In the first article of this #LosingMyReligion series, I posted the Prologue of my best-selling novel (which you can read here). In this article, I am putting together few snippets of Chapter 1. (Note that this is not a complete chapter, but only bits and pieces) I hope you enjoy reading it.

CHAPTER 1

January 9, 6:30 p.m. Bangalore

Rishi Rai held the gun in his hand.

Standing in the centre of the swanky meeting room, his fingers pressing hard on the Beretta, he cut a dangerous figure. The room, which was bathed in an eerie blue glow from the projector screen, had just two occupants—two men who stood across the conference table facing each other.

One, a fallen entrepreneur, who was desperate for money. And the other, an investor who was loath to part with money.

Together they formed an intriguing tableau.

The investor looked at the gun, startled. He didn’t know how to react; his heartbeat had climbed up alarmingly. He had turned down thousands of entrepreneurs with business plans in his life before, but no one had reacted like the crazy man standing in front of him.

‘Y-you can’t be serious, Rishi . . .’ he finally uttered, his voice coming out like a squeal. As if it was a plea for mercy.

Rishi looked at his gun and kept it on the table, keeping it pointed towards him. I didn’t have a gun in my pocket. Where did this come from?

‘It’s . . . it’s nothing personal, Rishi. Please try to understand . . .’

Anger surged through him again, and he picked up his gun. ‘Business is always personal. Always,’ he growled, and inched closer to shoot.

‘Don’t shoot, Rishi, don—’ shouted the investor, trembling. But Rishi didn’t listen.

He fired the shot . . . and woke up.

Holy shit! Was I daydreaming? He got up breathing heavily and sweating profusely. Pushing himself up on the accent pillows, he strained his eyes to make sense of where he was, but could barely determine anything. His head felt as if it had been bludgeoned to a pulp, and his eyes—bloodshot red—burned like embers on fire. 

Running a hand through his dishevelled hair, he forced himself to look around . . . and slowly came to the realization that he was at Natasha’s place.

It was after sunset. The noise of the unending rush-hour traffic could be heard through the window. The cool January breeze ruffled the curtains, bringing along with it soft dusk light into the semi-dark room.

He had reached here sometime in the afternoon, and let himself in using the spare key she always left under the mat. Since then he had done nothing but lie down on her bed and let his mind play up his fears. He had drifted in and out of sleep, which was weaved with nightmares.

***

Lately, he had started losing patience with the world around him at a much more alarming rate than before. Granted he had never really been the indulgent type, but he had also never been this bitter, impatient, intolerant man. Nowadays, a sneer seemed to be the only look he wore. And it suited him just fine.

Lost in sepia-tinted thoughts about his life, his eyes caught the blinking red light on his smartphone, indicating that he had received new emails. He groaned inwardly, trying his best to ignore the impulse that was gnawing at him, but gave up within a minute. He quickly scanned through the six new emails and replied to the important ones at a frantic pace without once glancing at the keypad. Over the years, he had mastered the art of typing this way—focussing his eyes solely on the screen and nowhere else. He often thought of his smartphone as an appendage; he could lose his right arm but not his phone. 

***

Of a lean, athletic built, with deep-set eyes and a strong chin, Rishi always cut an impressive figure; his tall frame adding to his charisma. But right this moment he belied that very impression.

An era had come to an end for him this morning when he had finally signed on all the paperwork. He thought back on the endless meetings he had had with his lawyers to stop this ordeal . . . or to salvage some bit of it, at least. Just some bit of it. But nothing had worked out. Like dominoes, the blocks of his life had fallen, one after the other and in perfect synchronisation, leaving him with a defeated sense of being.

His mind was now a mixed bag of emotions. On one hand, he felt relieved: he had fought the battle too hard and for too long and knew there was nothing more he could have done. But on the other hand, he felt a sense of emptiness: after all he had fought the battle too hard and for too long to not care.

Exhaling slowly, making a conscious attempt to not stoke his already ravaged feelings, he forced himself to think about something else, but questions about his future flooded his mind. What next? He banged his fist against the wall next to the window in frustration. 

***

As Natasha took a deep drag and exhaled, she asked, ‘What’s going on? You wanna talk?’ Something akin to concern flitted across her face. 

‘No, nothing. The usual stuff,’ responded Rishi, producing an evasive reply as his eyes traced the deep stain of red marking the ends of her cigarette butt. He had never really bothered to disclose the gory details of his life to her, but he knew she had read everything in the newspapers today. He had known it the minute she had entered; it was written all over her face. It was a different story that she didn’t broach the topic with him. He knew she wished they shared a relationship where he would share all his thoughts with her, but in the past few months they had never been able to reach that level. Or maybe just he hadn’t. His cell phone rang right then and he moved forward to pick it up.

‘Good evening, Rishi. It’s Poonam again.’

‘Hi, Poonam,’ he responded disinterestedly.

‘Sorry about what happened,’ the caller said, without wasting any time on pleasantries. They were well past that.

‘Sympathy is the last thing I need, Poonam. Let’s get to the point, shall we?’ He spoke in measured sentences. Too measured. A nerve ticked in his jaw.

Poonam was a headhunter from an executive search firm, and had been chasing him relentlessly for the last few months for a deal. XingLabs was a renowned US-based Internet company that was setting up a software centre in Bangalore, and it wanted Rishi as its global CTO. It was a great offer, and Rishi knew it.

‘I didn’t mean to . . . but have you taken any decision on XingLabs’ offer?’ asked Poonam. 

‘I need some time. I haven’t really taken any decision,’ he shared. You are a fool to be even asking for more time! Why are you saying this? You should have taken a call on it weeks ago. What’s stopping you?

‘Don’t think so much about such a top job, Rishi. XingLabs is the brand! They are ready to offer you a twenty percent annual bonus, plus a handsome joining bonus and stock. And you know what the salary is like. To top it, you’ll be getting a key global position being in India. And that is next to impossible, that too at your age. You have to say yes, Rishi. If you want I will arrange another call with the CEO.’

It was true—it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to lead the technology efforts of a global brand; that too at twenty-seven. But something held Rishi back. It wasn’t that he hadn’t been tempted. He had been. Sorely, in fact. In his mind, he knew that most of his present problems would be sorted if he took up that job. But he hadn’t been able to make himself do that. Yet.

‘Got it. Let me get back to you in a couple of days. I know it’s a great offer, especially at this juncture in my life. But I need to figure out a few things. I am sure you understand. Talk to you soon,’ saying which he hung up, not giving her any chance to reply.

‘You got an offer? Are you getting a job?’ asked Natasha.

‘Maybe,’ he replied, shrugging with indifference.

‘Wow! That was quick. So, what are you going to do?’

There was silence.

‘Say something for once, Rishi. It’s not like I don’t know anything now—’ His cell phone buzzed again, irking an already annoyed Natasha.

The screen flashed the name: Karan. Rishi’s good friend. It cheered him up a bit.

‘Is the party on?’ Karan asked. Rishi had called his close friends to catch up tonight.

‘It’s on. I’ll see you at 8:30,’ he said, and hung up. 

They all wondered what he was about to tell them.

***

Well, that's all folks! I am sure you got a hang of the story line as the broke entrepreneur Rishi is trying to deal with his life after shutting down his company. Next, week in Chapter 2 we will see what his next plans will be. To bounce back or to run from the world...

If you want to get a copy of the book, here are some quick links

• Amazon - Buy paperback in India
• Flipkart - Buy paperback in India
• Amazon eBook - Global

 You can also learn more about the book on my website - VishwasMudagal.com