Losing a Loved One …... Coping with the Death of a Loved One.

Tears are the silent language of grief.

Have you ever wondered what to say ,who has just lost a loved one?

It's not easy to find words of comfort for their loss, is it?

But the fact remains that you should say something to offer your sympathy and show your support to the person.

What you say doesn't have to be long. It's often better if you keep the words short and focus more on the way you say them.

Even a brief statement letting them know you are thinking of them during their time of grief can be comforting when they are deeply mourning. Sometimes just a few words and a hug or hand squeeze can be the most effective thing you can do.

Finding the Right Words

One of the most difficult things for most people to do is to find the right words to say after someone passes away. It's sad enough that someone has died, but no one wants to slip up and say something to make the surviving family members feel worse.

Some people ramble when they're nervous, so concentrate on keeping your conversation brief and focused on what you are there for. The most important thing is to show sympathy and understanding in as few words as possible. 

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a stitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensue discussion or debate.    

Thank you …What Not To Say To Someone Who Has Experienced A Loss

Everyone experiences loss and grief differently, and you should encourage the bereaved to have his or her unique experience of the loss. A better way to express your empathy might be, “If you want to talk about how you are feeling, know that I am here for you.”

• “She is in a better place.” Unless you know for sure that the person who died and the bereaved person both believed in an afterlife, this statement has the potential to be offensive. Instead, try acknowledging that the bereaved may be in pain, and that is okay. 
• For most people who have experienced a death, the answer to this question is “Not well.” While we want to check in with people who are in grief, the casualness of this question often forces someone struggling with grief to put on a false face. 
• Especially after a prolonged or painful illness, death can seem like a relief. Still, a grieving person needs time and space to grieve. Support the bereaved person in taking the time and space that he or she may need.
• While this statement may be absolutely true for you, it does nothing to comfort the bereaved. In fact, it may make the bereaved person feel even more isolated in his or her grief. Instead, try acknowledging the profoundness of the loss and let the person know that you are there as a source of comfort and support.
• Death is incredibly difficult, no matter the form it takes. While you may want to help the person look on the “upside,” the he or she may need some time to just live in the grief.
• While you may want to help the bereaved look toward the future, it’s important to give a grieving person the time and space to experience his or her feelings. Don’t pressure him or her to “get over it.”

Want to add word or two?  

Offering Specific Help

In general, the most important thing you can do to help the bereaved is to be present, to stay in touch with the bereaved, and to let the bereaved know that you are available to be supportive in the ways you can.

When To Offer Help

There are many times in the days, weeks, and months following a death that you can offer your help. The helpful things you can do for the bereaved vary depending on the bereaved’s unique situation and needs, as well as the amount of time that has passed since the death.

Your comment ….?

Grief is a continuing process of mourning through which one learns to live with loss.

When a loved one dies, those left to mourn, or survivors, often find themselves entangled in a complex web of emotions and reactions.

The death of a loved one can be an overwhelming, frightening and painful experience. The psychological, social and physical effects of loss are articulated through the practice of grief.

How individuals grieve depends on many factors: their support system; the circumstances of the death; the response by family members, friends and the criminal justice system; the nature of the relationship with the deceased; religious or cultural beliefs and customs; and the individual's coping skills.

 No two people will grieve in the same way. However, survivors often find it helpful to speak with others experiencing loss, as there are common reactions and experiences that may prove useful to share.

Grief Reactions:

Often after learning of the death of a loved one, especially a sudden death, survivors experience a feeling of shock, numbness and disbelief that their loved one is gone. To be confronted by the death of a loved one is so horrible, devastating and absolute that many individuals are unable to comprehend the overwhelming news. .

Survivors may encounter intense feelings of guilt after someone they love has died.

The guilt may come out of unresolved conflicts with the deceased, or through thinking they could have somehow prevented the death of their loved one.

While guilt is a normal grief reaction, most often factors outside a survivor's control cause death.

Therefore, it may help to process feelings of guilt to speak with individuals who knew the loved one, as well as the circumstances of the death, so that they may help the survivor realistically evaluate feelings of guilt and responsibility.

Other Common Grief Reactions Include:

• Feelings of powerlessness;
• Numbness;
• Hypersensitivity;
• Hyper-vigilance (jumpiness);
• Overwhelming sense of loss and sorrow;
• Disruptive sleep patterns;
• Inability to concentrate;
• Lethargy;
• Fear and vulnerability;
• Confusion;
• Social withdrawal;
• Change in eating habits
• Restricted affect (reduced ability to express emotion);
• Questioning of faith;
• Physical and financial problems; and
• Constant thoughts about the circumstances of the death.

Suggestions for Coping with the Death of a Loved One

In adjusting to their lives after the loss of a loved one, many survivors find it helpful to share their feelings with others who are in similar circumstances.

Counseling with a professional therapist may be an option as well,

Acknowledge feelings of loss. Though emotions may be difficult, it is important for survivors to work through feelings of sorrow, anger, guilt, and other demonstrations of loss, and not be afraid to express them.

Expressive outlets, such as conversations with others, drawing or writing, may prove helpful in articulating and coping with feelings of loss. Survivors should be patient with themselves. The grieving process takes time, and feelings of loss may not diminish quickly or easily.

Be patient with others. Many people, though well-meaning, can say inappropriate things to those who grieve. Most often people simply do not know what to say, and want to help, not hurt. An inappropriate remark may be an imperfect but well-intentioned expression of caring.

To Assist Someone Who is Grieving

Ask what can be done to help. Someone who has experienced the loss of a loved one may need assistance with daily tasks, but may be unable to ask.

Listen. Listen without making any judgments. Survivors may need to periodically speak with someone about what they are experiencing and feeling

Provide information and support to him.