Losing a Co-worker: There's No Guide

Just 2 short weeks ago we received the devastating news that a co-worker had passed away over the weekend unexpectedly. It hit us hard! We're a close-knit marketing department full of vibrant personalities, inside jokes and a wide array of talent. Gabe was the coolest kid on the block. Hot rods, a big smile and the most amazing stories to keep us all on the edge of our seats!

What I've learned over the past couple of weeks is that no one prepares you for the loss of a co-worker. It's true, we often times spend more hours a week with those we work with than our own families, so the impact can be extremely difficult.

1) You have the right to grieve.

Everyone grieves differently. Some prefer isolation while others need to be surrounded by others and feel loved. Do what feels right to you. However, don't be prideful - if you need to speak to a counselor check with your company to see if they offer Employee Assistance Programs to aide with your coping. Shane Company did a great job by bringing a counselor on site the following day and having us all attend a group-session to learn about the stages of grief and to have a platform to talk if we needed to.

2) You might need to take a day (or two) off.

The day we learned about Gabe passing away there were so many emotions from everyone. Mostly tears, a lot of silence, melancholy, survivor's guilt, confusion, disbelief, shock...you name it. Our company ended up providing us the opportunity to take off the rest of the day so half of us spent the rest of the day together: talk it out, reminiscence about Gabe and be there for one another. The following day was my birthday; however, I wasn't in a big celebratory mood. Although I was extremely grateful for another year of life, I was also feeling very saddened by the news that I had just learned less than 24 hours prior to my birthday. Most of my co-workers returned to work that day however, it was not normal anymore. Gabe was no longer there to remind us that all hip-hop songs must've been by Tupac (inside joke), or to say "Bree" why are you adding me to this project? I ended up getting sick at work that day.

3) A new normal...gone but not forgotten.

I decided to stick out the rest of my birthday at work even though I had gotten sick; because for me, I needed to understand what this "new normal" without Gabe truly meant. Each day that has gone by since he passed, our team has truly found ways to incorporate him so even though he's gone, he won't be forgotten:

• The company donated funds and we're going to walk in September to honor his memory.
• We wore the T-shirts he designed to the Rockies game last week and a few of us wrote some of his sayings on the back of our t-shirts as well. We even had bracelets that we all wore in solidarity.
• Lastly, we wrote cards with memories/kind words so his family could read them. And many of us attended his funeral.

4) What's their legacy?

In conclusion, what losing a co-worker has taught me is:

A) Time is precious.

B) Meetings are important but so is taking the time to get to know those who you work with.

C) You never know what a person is going through - always be genuinely kind and concerned about others.

D) Honor their legacy https://www.pachecokustom.com/.