Lori’s Leadership Liturgy: Stop Living Your Best Life Now
In recent years, I’ve been utterly amazed at the emergence of the phrase, “Live your best life now!”
Social media and the publication of probably no less than 5,000 books on how to live your best/healthiest/wealthiest life have caused this concept to explode to a level where we all believe life is meant to revolve around only happy things.
Almost daily I see parents take to social media to provide no fewer than 55 photos of their 8 year old living his “best life now” by playing in the snow or playing drums. Similarly, single adults like myself frequently use a relationship break-up to post an insightful essay or photo montage explaining how they are now embracing a better, carefree life. And, most importantly, let’s not forget that reality TV reminds us that living our best life now means we accumulate great wealth and spend it wildly for true contentment.
As a western society, we’ve decided to live for optimal happiness and perfection, and we’re being told by the media to only surround ourselves with like people who move us closer to our best and least toxic life.
But you know, nothing about this concept is realistic, especially when it comes to the art of effective leadership. I mean, let’s be honest, shall we? This idea that we’re all to be happy and fulfilled 24-7 is not realistic, and if 2020 didn’t teach us that, then apparently we’ve been living in a cave for the last 9 months.
Philosophy, psychology, and the greatest principles of traditional faith regularly point to the importance of sorrow and pain as a critical influence for our lives. The Christian faith is in fact built on the ultimate sacrifice of a Savior who died the most painful death known to mankind– a crucifixion that followed a time of physical torture. Nothing about the New Testament crucifixion story, outside of the ultimate purpose of Christ's death (eternal life), equates to living one’s “best life.”
Furthermore, the Bible never states that mankind’s purpose is to be ridiculously happy, content, or self-aware, or that our goal as parents, leaders, and teachers is to show others how to be happy. Instead, the Bible and other books of faith, speak to self-denial, obedience, faithfulness and honor; things that will often bring persecution and pain by those who disagree with our beliefs.
2020 has not been a happy year. It’s been painful, and agonizing. I’m tired of 2020 and of the personal, economic, and physical pain that so many are suffering. Furthermore, I’m tired of the emotional pain I feel from too much alone time and not enough community. There have been moments in 2020 when I’ve looked to the heavens and simply asked, “Why? Why?” Maybe you’ve been there too.
But in 2020, I have personally and professionally grown and gained deep (and sometimes painful) insights as I’ve worked through challenges, and I can confidently say that I am forever changed in a positive way. I don’t like the stress and chaos of what this nation and our friends around the globe are enduring, but I very much like that my personal pain has radically changed my ability to make a greater impact.
Good leaders in all types of organizations do the same thing I’ve had to do in 2020. Good leaders regularly acknowledge to their people that it will be the crucible moments; the seasons of chaos, pain, and challenge, that take organizations to new places and heights. Truly effective leaders stop talking in terms of how to make everyone happy and instead focus on how to make everyone collaborative and challenged in a way that deep trust and respect drives a unit or organization to an entirely new outlook of possibilities.
Does this mean that you shouldn’t think about whether the people working and living for you, with you, or around you are happy and content? Goodness, no. If people are unhappy at work, they will leave and you’ll have regular turnover. Positive working and living conditions are critical to success, and you should aim to find out what your people think about being there with you, but happiness is never the ultimate goal of any position in life.
If you’re a leader in your home, church, school, business, community, or in any other environment, might I suggest you start modeling how to effectively embrace, and even welcome, pain and hardship as critical to long-term success? If you do, then you’ll develop a team that doesn’t freeze or fall apart when the happiness and joy wear off and darts and dangers start to fly.
If we want our organizations (schools, businesses, community groups, churches) and our homes to live their best possible life, then we must start with embracing the tried and true finding that happiness is always temporary, but hardship is life-changing.
Challenge: Stop leading with the intent of perfection and instead lead to develop resiliency, tenacity, hope, and patience. You and those around you will be stronger long-term if you do!
(Written by Dr. Lori Brown)