Lori Gottlieb on managing uncertainty: "We try to fill in the blanks so that we feel like we have more control."

Here I am, more than two months into working from home, and it has its ups and downs. I’ve figured out how to do my job. I’ve got a working approach--mostly--to watching my son, thanks to lots of help from family. But there’s one part of this situation that feels intolerable to me. It’s the uncertainty. 

When do things change? What exactly changes? Will I return to the office? My wife works at a childcare center, a small business with an uncertain future. Will it open again?

I know I’m not the only one struggling with this discomfort. I can see it in the comments, and letters Hello Monday listeners are sending me. As we figure out what the pandemic really means to our careers and our businesses, there’s a lot of uncomfortable gray area. 

And that’s why I thought it would be a good week to talk with Lori Gottlieb. Lori is a therapist and author--and a professional advice-giver. She has written a column for The Atlantic called "Dear Therapist." Last year, Lori published a book about going to therapy herself, and it quickly became a bestseller. It was called: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.

So I put this question to Lori: How do we manage uncertainty gracefully? You can download the episode to hear about it. Then, please, share your own thoughts and tag them #HelloMonday so I can jump into the conversation.

Here are some highlights….

On uncertainty: "We try to fill in the blanks so that we feel like we have more control. But generally, we don't fill in the blanks with something positive. We tend to fill in the blanks with something terrifying or negative."

On laughter during hard times: "It's really important that we can hold the pain and the joy at the same time so we can laugh with people. It's okay."

On caring for yourself: "Self-compassion doesn't mean you're not accountable. It actually helps you to be more accountable in the longterm."

On managing competing feelings: "The other thing that's really helpful for a psychological immune system is this concept of both and: you can experience two very opposing, seemingly opposing kinds of states at the same time."

On what this era shows about relationships: "If you wanna reach out to someone, you shouldn't hold back or hesitate."

On taking care of our mental health as well as we care for our physical health: "We want to protect our psychological immune systems from something that's toxic to our emotional health."

?? Office Hours

Join us for a mid-afternoon coffee break, every Wednesday at 3pm EST. Producer Sarah Storm and I will choose our favorite mugs, sit back in comfy chairs, and chat with listeners about everything from the week's episode to the things that are keeping us motivated this spring. This week, we'll be discussing our takes on Lori's advice. How are we all dealing with uncertainty?

And mostly, we just want to meet you, and for you to meet each other. Our first four gatherings have been wonderful. You can rsvp here, or just follow me on LinkedIn.