The Lorax of Features: When PMs Spend Like Politicians

When product managers start managing their roadmaps like the U.S. Congress handles budgets—piling on features like pork-barrel projects—you end up with a bloated mess no one wants ... and a cautionary tale worthy of Dr. Seuss.

In the town of Spendville, up high on a hill,

Lived product managers, possessing value-based skills.

But one fateful day, they decided to change,

To spend like politicians, oh what a strange rage!

"Oh, the features we'll add," they said with a cheer,

"We'll have products so large, no end will be near!"

They dreamed up new buttons, and screens by the score,

A hundred new features, and not one was a bore.

They built gadgets with gizmos, and apps so complex,

Each one with so many features, you'd be vexed.

"We'll spend all our runway," they boasted with glee,

"But where's the product?" asked the wise little bee.

The managers laughed, "Who needs a product that's lean?

We're having such fun, can't you see what we mean?"

But the users waited, with screens in their hand,

For something to use, in this magical land.

Oh, the features, the features, they piled up so high,

Till the townsfolk of Spendville began to sigh.

"We want our apps back, we want them now!"

But the managers just shrugged, without a care, somehow.

Then came the revolt—oh, what a grand sight!

The users said, "ENOUGH!" and put up the fight.

They churned out in droves, their patience all spent,

While the managers wondered where everyone went.

With no users, no money, their dream turned to dust,

Their apps, once so grand, now nothing but rust.

So remember, dear managers, when features you choose,

Don't spend like a politician, or you'll lose, lose, lose.

So let this tale be a warning, dear PMs: when you spend like Congress and say "yes" to everything, the only feature you'll deliver is failure.