Looks like we made it!

Looks like we made it so far! ?????????

I’ve been watching him, going in and out of the living room for the last 2 weeks, lurking, jumping, wanting attention.

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It isn’t a puppy, it’s my 18-year-old son working on his presentation for his class. Expecting me to drop what I’m doing just like that, to listen to him read out what he has written.

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It hasn’t always been this way. For the last 2 years leading up to his 18th birthday, he felt pressured to decide on what to do about university.

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It was an ongoing discussion and argument whether he should go. He presented his case with a well thought argument at every opportunity.

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??♂? why his generation will not benefit on spending the next 3-4 years on education.

??♂? jobs might not be available, he doesn’t want a 9-5pm

??♂? having a student loan to start adult life is just not the way to live.

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As I watched him, my face said it all, he can feel my sadness and says it, you want me to live yours and my dad’s dream, but it might not be mine. So, in the end, I’m only trying to please you both. ????????

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I just sat and listened and tried to be as open as possible for him to see that his thoughts are respected, ?????? and that, I understand where he was coming from and asked him questions as to where he visualised his life in the future.

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I gave him a few scenarios on what he might have to go through, the experiences he will miss. ??????????

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Although, British universities are quite different from North America, the experience will still be there.

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?After allowing him to state his case, which he has done many times.

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I look at him straight in the eye and calmly said, At some point, you will grow up and become older and there is nothing I can do or say that will change your mind if this is what you want.

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But consider this, my voice slightly rising due to the passion inside me. ??????

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This is your option, you don’t go to university, that’s fine.

??You go and find yourself a job

?? start covering your own expenses.

?? Gone are the extras like allowance, laundry, cook, cleaner etc. but don’t worry, you will have 3 months to figure it out and by the way,

?? I won’t be paying for your phone either.

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As for my plans, well I do have some because my life does not revolve around your needs

??????Dumbfounded might have been the look he gave me as he contemplated the pros and cons of starting an adult life at the age of 18 with no immediate prospects. He walked away mulling over the whole conversation.

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About a week later, he showed me his detailed plan for his future and that is, finding the right university that suits him.

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By this time, it was September, and everyone kept telling us, waiting list is now close. However, luck was on our side, one university which he accepted, was willing to enroll him since classes didn’t start until October. It was a good choice, he decided to study Fashion Business with an option to go abroad on his 3rd year to either France or Italy.

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So far, he is enjoying his classes and talking about a possibility of a master’s degree. I’m proud of whatever he accomplishes and will always be here for him. The power of communication and allowing to be heard is so important especially above all the noise from social media. As 2023 comes to an end, this has been my biggest win.

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