If it looks like a duck … It might not be.

For those of you who know my story these past few years, this post might not be a surprise. For those who don't, maybe it will help you understand your coworkers a little better and possibly help someone.??

For those not familiar with Stanford Duck Syndrome — the term posits that while students appear to be as calm as a duck floating across a pond, under the surface they are paddling furiously to keep up with the competitive and rigorous college environment.

The same is true at work. At least it was for this sales guy.

At a recent venture, I I was performing well above goal and far above average as my mother was dying of cancer - this was towards the end of the pandemic.? She was hiding a lot from us about how bad it was.? She didn't want to be a burden so kept up a good facade. ? I didn't want the awkward sympathy from people at work so I built a facade of my own. Both of us were paddling furiously.? Both of us didn't want anyone–or each other–to know.

For those who know me, you know I’m not one to throw pity bait into social channels to bring saccharine well-wishing back into the boat. This post is about empathy though, so I’ll risk the judgment here.

I loved my Mom.? She was a great Lady.? I had a quota.? I had pressure. I got grumpy with coworkers.? I got dinged for my Zoom background being messy after being pulled into a last minute call on the way home from the hospital.? My boss knew what I was going through.? It didn't change his quota. Transferring knowledge of my deals to him would have taken longer than just closing them out … on my own.?

As I monitored the Docusign envelopes at my Mother’s Shiva call after staying up all night to write a eulogy that she would be proud of, the thought occurred that maybe I could have done this thing better—that generating revenue was a poor excuse for half-heartedly doing what really counts.?

While I’ve always loved chasing strangers for money and the delight it gives me to make people successful and help them think about their goals in a different way, I’d 100% give back my commissions for a better year with my mother. No questions asked.

So I’m at Mellie for a reason. We help people like me feel calm, confident, and cared for–while going through life’s hardest moments.??

We care for the caregivers. That is no small feat.?

Just ask Harvard and read this ?HBR Study on how being a caring company keeps your best workers happy, has strong economic benefits for employers, and turns ugly ducklings into swans if you’ll forgive the metaphor…?

I know I’m pushing the lines of credibility quoting high-brow academia with such average pedigrees, so I’m cutting this here. More posts to come.??

Last thoughts: Be kinder.? Be better.? Care More.? Help your coworkers help their loved ones …?

You don’t know the ducking problem.?

Mellie exists so you don’t have to.