A few weeks ago I turned fifty. Not an easy event for anyone, and I had been dreading it for some time. In the months leading up to it, I read a lot of books, and talked to my friends about how to find more meaning and purpose in the coming years.?
Here are the top 10 concepts & metaphors that I came across that resonated with me, pushed me to switch careers, and probably made me a happier person. I would love to hear from you and find out what worked for you.?
- “You’re never not afraid!” Will Ferrell's commencement speech
is fascinating, because he comes across as one of the most confident humans. Hearing him admit to his fears is a stark reminder to all of us that it's ok to be afraid.?
- In “The Happiness Advantage” Shawn Achor
comes to the conclusion that “We become more successful when we are happier and more positive, not the other way around.” Wow! It almost seems that this is closely related to the proverb “what goes around comes around” or the more mystical version of “manifestation”, which both my daughters practice.?
- If you need a pep talk, “From Stretch to Strength” by Arthur Brooks or “Roar” by Michael Clinton can provide that. Both will tell you that it's never too late to change careers and focus on finding work that is meaningful to you.
- Daniel Gilbert’s “Stumbling on Happiness” might be one of the most entertaining books on the topic. His core premise is that what makes humans different from every other animal is that we think about the future. However, our brains fall victim to a wide range of biases that cause our predictions of the future (and our memories of the past) to be inaccurate. Because of these mental errors it is remarkably difficult to predict what will make us feel happy.
- Buddha suggested that life is suffering, because humans are subject to desires and cravings. Basically, because we always want more (stuff).? The key to enlightenment is to want less. That can be achieved by the Eightfold Path. If you haven’t done so yet, I can highly recommend spending some time with these concepts, and immersing yourself in Buddhism a bit.
- “This is not the dress rehearsal, but the actual show” is an amazing quote by philosopher Sam Harris.
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- “Carpe Diem,” published in 23 BCE, has come to mean two different things, and both resonate with me. “Seize the day” & “Live the day”. My parents taught me to live every day like it's your last. To me that means having fun, but it also means accomplishing something every day.
- Jonathan Haidt’s
metaphor on the “Elephant and the Rider” is enlightening.?The rider represents “reason” and our “rational, conscious mind.” But the elephant is everything else: will, emotion, and subconscious motives. The rider of the elephant looks like she is in charge, but when there's a disagreement between the elephant and the rider, the elephant usually wins.
- Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung is the father of analytical psychology, and he spent a lot of time on Happiness Research. He suggested that happiness is influenced by:?
- Good physical and mental health
- Good relationships
- The ability to perceive beauty in art and nature
- Believe in something: A religion or a philosophy
- A fulfilling job
All these concepts basically revolve around the central premise that we need to stop striving for the next big promotion/raise/car and stop listening to the little voice in our heads that says “if XYZ happens I will be happy.”?
You will only be happy if you realize that you need to enjoy the journey,? because? there might be nothing at the end.
May this inspire your happiness journey, and may the Force be with you!
Business Operator & Acquirer | PE
1 年Amazingly well said Marc! The Power of Now another great book.
Executive Coach for Leaders Committed to a Thriving Future for All
2 年There is just so much gold here, Marc. Thank you for doing so much "homework" and distilling it here! I was just in a conversation this morning about the Buddhist view of suffering, about how "pain is necessary; suffering is optional," and how suffering can come from resistance and attachment (ironically). Turning 50 definitely spun my head around, but I'm almost two years farther down the road now, and the view is good! (Also, I just sent you a connection request and am pretty sure I spelled your name with a "k" instead of a "c." If so, I apologize!
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2 年Happy half century and good times for the next half. Great words of wisdom. Enjoy this special birthday and year.
Managing Director, Global Business Development at Google
2 年Wonderful Marc, thank you for sharing !
Thank you, Marc. (Happy Birthday! And happy 50!)