Sense of urgency vs. procrastination ... Bridging the gap.

The hardest part of being anyone's coach or advisor is telling them what they need to hear vs what they want to hear. Especially when there is a gap between the action they need to take and their hesitancy to so. There is a tug of war at hand between sense of urgency and procrastination. Bridging this gap requires intentional listing, clear communication, and patience. When you truly care about the outcomes for your coachee or client, this ride can be exhausting ... if you let it.

How are you discerning the thoughts inside of your own mind? One thing that I have learned over the many years of coaching people is that no matter how well intentioned you are, how much you may want to solve an issue for another, or lead them to the outcomes you know they desire - you cannot take it personally when they choose not to follow your recommendations. Disconnecting emotionally from this can be hard. You start to question yourself - Did I give the right advice? Did I explain things clearly? Did they just not listen?

In my most recent experience as a financial advisor, this has been especially testing. There is a gap between the advisor and the client that can cause the mental roller coaster to take off at high speed. So here are some insights from someone who has been both a client, as well as an advisor. Whether you work in financial services, in another coaching or advisory role, or simply learning how to be other's focused, I hope these thoughts help to move you forward.

1.      Your client’s timeline is not your timeline. Many clients have put off the conversation of getting their finances in order for years. It can be overwhelming to face the reality of balancing a personal budget, carving out money to save for the future, not to mention processing the need for the different insurance coverage needed to protect their life, income, and legacy. When they finally take the time to have this conversation, the dialogue in their mind is “I waited a few years, what’s a few more weeks, or months?” As an advisor, you see the gaps and immediately you want to make the appropriate recommendations, and you want your clients to take action quickly, and for good reason. Many of us have seen our clients delay what they need to do, only to be faced with the unexpected while they waited, and then it’s too late. I’ve been there, and if you are a truly caring individual who has your clients' best interest at heart, this can be the hardest part of your profession. 

2.      Your client doesn’t understand “comprehensive planning.” For too long the financial service industry has had two camps; investments and insurance. There are some firms that manage investments really well, in fact, for some there is a cost of entry to be a client. Some will not even take an appointment if a client doesn’t have at least $250,000 of assets to bring to the table. There are also insurance companies that provide great products and services, and typically are a destination for those in the market "shopping" for insurance. The concept of an advisor, who is not partial to one or the other is foreign. To complicate matters, there are fee based advisors, and commission based advisors. Here is how a client interprets those definitions: A fee based advisor is someone I can’t afford and a commission based advisor is someone who wants to sell me something. Both of these thoughts are false, if a client is dealing with an advisor who is truly exercising their fiduciary responsibility. The process should never be product focused, but always client-centric.

3.      Your client doesn’t see you as their personal coach. Perhaps this is the largest gap that needs to be addressed today. People need a financial coach, not just someone who manages their money, or provides them an insurance policy. As John Schlifske, CEO of Northwestern Mutual stated, “Advisors would do well to think a little differently of their role in the client-advisor relationship. Rather than thinking of themselves as their clients’ investment professional, advisors should think of themselves as their clients’ coach – someone who is a leader and guide, someone who can manage emotions while being both honest and empathetic.” (WSJ Jan 2017).

So, back to the mirror. As an advisor, when you look at the relationships you have been entrusted with, and are questioning the actions by your clients not taken, what to you see? Some questions to ask yourself…

1.      Did I truly listen to what was important to my client?

2.      Did I get the full picture of their current financial status and future goals?

3.      Did I attempt take the time needed to discern the best course of action, rather than rushing to recommendations?

4.      Was I fully transparent about my compensation, and clearly outline the planning process?

5.      Did I clarify my role as a coach, and a trusted resource accessible to my client at all times?

6.      Did I check for my clients understanding of different concepts and did I teach in the moment?

7.      Did I provide a clear path to align my clients’ actions with their intentions, and do what is in their best interest?

Taking the time to build the long term relationship, and close the gap between your client’s perspective and yours will be the most time consuming thing that you do. But it will also be the most beneficial and impactful for both of you. There is one investment that will never return void, and that is your investment in others. You may not see the immediate fruits of your labor, but the impact is there, and in time you will find it was worth every second spent. Take the time. Listen. Be bold, be blunt, be honest, but most importantly – be patient.