Looking Back...Life after Layoff

My employer at the time was graceful. But it stung nonetheless. My role was eliminated. And I had a choice on how to react. Based on a combination of smarts, perseverance, relationships and faith, I found a new adventure that has fulfilled me in so many ways since - both professionally and personally.

After landing on my feet, a community friend reached out commenting on how quickly I'd found a new path and asked if I had any advice; he had a couple friends in a similar situation and wanted to help. I put together the notes below in an email on February 20, 2009, and have shared with quite a few connections over the years. Upon sending it to another just last week, I am choosing to post in the event others find it informative or useful:

"On managing a job loss/pursuing new opportunities… 

• Firstly, it is okay to mourn the loss of a job. Job loss is one of the top three life events that cause people extreme grief. Whether you've been in your role two years or twenty, there will be a period immediately following the news that brings forward many emotions. I felt anger, frustration, betrayal, fear, sadness, the questioning of my abilities/strengths and more. Recognize these feelings as "ok," process the thoughts and move forward. While some of the feelings I mentioned were useful in providing me motivation to "get back on my feet," or active in pursuing my next opportunity, the majority were negative emotions and thus needed to be felt, but moved past. After I made the decision to be positive, I found I experienced a day or few hours of the negative emotions here and there (typically surrounding an event like an interview or news I did not align with a role) but no more. In observing friends/peers, I have seen a correlation with the emotional and physical (number of years) attachment to a company and grieving period. I have also observed those assertively and quickly adopt a positive outlook realize more success (strong leads, interviews) than those who don't.
• Once you feel you're at a place where you're in charge of your emotions, it's all about COMMUNICATION. While it will feel uncomfortable at first, as soon as you can, begin your "campaign" to let all friends, peers (this includes former colleagues you had strong relationships with), family and community contacts know about your situation, and what your interests are for the future. This effort is where your strongest leads will come from.   I customized according to groups or individuals, but the content itself does not have to change significantly amongst each. Write this note with positive energy and the intention for it to be forwarded to others. Format suggestion:
• First Paragraph, Communicate impact: "As you may know X company recently restructured. As a result, my role…" 
• Second Paragraph, Share Interests: "Moving forward, I will be exploring X roles in X industries in X city(ies).
• Last Paragraph, Make the Ask: "If you know someone who works in a role or industry that fits the above, I would greatly appreciate you connecting me with that person…"
• Talk to as many people as possible. Again, it can be challenging talking to people about your situation and thoughts for the future. However, people at their core, want to help others and you'll be amazed with the support that those around you want to provide. Learn about different companies, roles and cities by asking pointed questions. Ask everyone you meet with to connect you with 2-3 others. After every meeting, jot down notes about your discussion, or send a thank you note that includes details about your conversation ("thank you for the information about X subject. I've visited their website and will make sure to attend the event we talked about…"). This way, the next time you speak with that person, you can go back to your email to remember what you chatted about. This process of connecting others will give you confidence, reiterate that you aren't alone (each person you meet will likely share that another close friend or family member is going through or has gone through the experience) and give you a feeling for what companies and roles you are and aren't interested in.
• I kept a journal, each day writing down the jobs I applied for, the people I meet with or spoke to and leads I identified. It wasn't lengthy; more bullet points like "spoke to X today. He connected me to his two former peers, Y and Z." I would then highlight/flag the items I needed to revisit. I tried to review the journal on a weekly basis, so that I knew who to follow up with and what we discussed last time we spoke. This exercise was not only helpful in keeping organized, it was also a visual demonstration of the actions being taken to change my situation.
• I heard a statistic that 80% of jobs were found through relationships/contact in a company. I believe this fully (based on my own past experience), and thus concentrated my search efforts relative to this number. I spent 80% of my time connecting with existing relationships and building new ones, and 20% applying for jobs through the online process. 
• Keep an open mind. I explored roles that I might not have initially thought I'd enjoy. But, as I learned more, I became more interested and wanted to actively go for it. This situation gives us the luxury of some time to really reflect upon "what we want to be when we grow up." Make the most of this experience, by researching any and all paths that you have at one time thought you might enjoy. 
• Healthy body, healthy mind. I took up a new sport and spent more time in the gym (especially in the days/weeks immediately following the impact). These activities were instrumental in giving me physical and emotional strength. 
• Stay on a regular schedule. I think some routine is important to human beings; it gives us a sense of "normalcy."  Over the past several months, I've gotten up at the same time, had breakfast and then set up shop at my dining room table with my computer and notes and worked as I would if in an office setting. You'll enjoy the newfound freedom during the day to run errands. My days were broken up by setting coffees, lunches and afternoon calls/meetings to connect with others." 

According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf." The above tactics - a combination of assertiveness and tenacity along with self-care and exploration - helped me identify and begin a new professional path years ago. That said, I fully recognize everyone's situation is different. If you have other questions for me or others here on LinkedIn, please ask. If you've been through something similar and want to offer your suggestions, please do. I'm sure they will be appreciated.