Looking Back at My Acquaintance with Phylis Hyman
Ron Alexander
Ron Alexander is a Multi-Media Journalist, Marketing Sales Professional, Social Media Influencer, and Author. He has previously worked as a sales consultant for McDonald's and Coca-Cola.
By Ron Alexander, 2 minute read
On the evening of June 30, 1995, I was lying in bed on the way to sleep while listening to an R&B radio station when the music was interrupted by the news of Phylis Hyman's passing. I awoke the following day wondering if Phylis’s death had been a dream, a nightmare, a mistake by the radio station, or an inaccurate account of the end of her brief life.
But this wasn’t a hoax. I hadn’t been bamboozled. I was stunned when I heard the news reporting once again that Phylis had factually committed suicide. I was surprised but not shocked. I knew of Phylis's problems with mental illness and substance abuse, but I never thought she would take her own life, no matter how much pain, suffering, and disappointment she had endured in her life. ?
At the time of her death, I worked as a residential counselor for a mental health facility in Charlottesville, Virginia, with men and women struggling with substance abuse and mental illness. I witnessed daily how depression, schizophrenia, and drug abuse ravish people's lives, often causing psychosis and leading to a loss of the ability to control their thoughts and actions, suicide, or attempt at suicide.
We first met in 1992 in the Philadelphia office of her attorney, Glenda Garcia. I aspired to become her agent and book her for professional speaking engagements, not just because she was a dynamic singer but because she advocated for child safety and equal housing and was a voice against job discrimination. She was tapped by the United States Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) Secretary, Jack Kemp, to be their spokesperson.
Phylis was a tall, big woman with mesmerizing eyes, soft facial features, a booming voice, and an overpowering personality. Even so, I found her pleasant, absorbing, energetic, unpretentious and entertaining.
And she was funny! She would open her show by telling jokes, poking fun at herself and the world around her. Audiences loved her for being authentic. I would get so caught up in her comedic parodies that I would forget she was a singer. She could have been a stand-up comic had she not become a sultry, dark singer. Phylis often told the audience, “The more you drink, the better I sound.”
I remember one time when I was in the company of Phylis at a local restaurant when I observed the obsessive drinking that transformed her from being pleasant into becoming verbally abusive, angry, and aggressive. But there were other times when she would express her love for children and disdained towards those who abused kids. She never had children of her own.
I understood and empathized with her substance abuse because of my lived experiences with drug addiction and mental illness. I was in early recovery from cocaine and, licking my wounds from years of drug addiction and ignoring my mental health symptoms. During the years I was smoking crack/cocaine, I was frequently homeless, jobless, helpless, and hopeless.
Given her enormous success as an R&B Soul artist, I have always wondered why she never became a platinum-selling singer? She found a niche in women by singing about her loneliness and relationships. Yet, she could not expand her cult following into performing in large venues, the likes of Natalie Cole, Patti LaBelle, or Aretha Franklin.
Perhaps her record companies were at fault. Or it could have been the writers and producers. Maybe her substance abuse and mental illness stood in her way, or she went into rehab but left without completing the program.
Nevertheless, Phylis performed on Broadway in the 1981 musical revue?Sophisticated Ladies, which ran from 1981 until 1983. Based on Duke Ellington's music, the revue earned her a?Theatre World Award?and a?Tony Award?nomination for?Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Musical.
Hyman suffered from?bipolar disorder?and depression for years, having been diagnosed in the 1980s. She often self-medicated with alcohol and drugs and frequently spoke about suicide. On the afternoon of June 30, 1995, six days before her 46th birthday, She died by suicide by overdosing on a mixture of?tuinal?and?vodka?in the bedroom of her New York City.
I'm tired.
I'm tired.
Those of you that I love know who you are.
May God bless you.
Had she lived, Phylis would be 75 today. Despite her short life, she has a loyal following. I will never forget her generosity in protecting children, the way her deep baritone voice wrapped around a lyric, and most of all, her beauty, class, sophistication, and comedic performances.
Discover Phylis Hyman’s solo albums:
?Subscribe to my Blog: https://www.buyronsbook.com/subscribe
?Buy my books at https://www.buyronsbook.com/
?
?
?
?
?
Relationship & Recovery Coach
4 个月Death by way of suicide or by way of “the industry” … who really knows ????? P. S. You were so honored to have been in her presence—she has always been my favorite female singer—-such a gift, such a personality. ??????????