Looking Back, Moving Forward

Today is my last day as an employee at Gustavus Adolphus College . I’m leaving after 10 and a half years — I’ve spent my entire career here until now.

On Monday, I start a new job as a senior manager of media relations at Fast Horse . This came up unexpectedly through a mentoring conversation towards the end of my master's program at the Hubbard School of Journalism and Mass Communication - University of Minnesota , and the opportunity is one that’s too good to pass up for numerous reasons, not the least of which is the chance to learn, fail, grow, and win in a new environment and with a new set of challenges. I talked to a lot of people I trust in making this decision and the sentiment was resounding and consistent: this is the right place and right time to take the next step. Fast Horse is making moves and I'm excited to be a part of the agency's progress and growth moving forward.

I love Gustavus. I met my wife, Hayley, here. I have an off-brand Gustavus tattoo. Most of my best friends are my old roommates. I learned so much here, more than I can put into words. English, geography, and football are on my transcript, but I also studied, whether I realized it at the time or not: relationships, people, bureaucracy, organizational behavior and communication, motivation, higher education, storytelling, politics (from interpersonal to global), media, soccer, how to get things done, negotiation, nuance, editing, arguing, compromise, how to learn, multidimensional liquid chromatography, how the place has done well and needs to do better, black and white, shades of gray, and most of all, community.

I could go on about the challenges facing higher education right now. There are many. Gustavus, like all small liberal arts schools, has problems. But after worrying too much about them for the last year or two, that’s not what I’m thinking about today.

I’m thinking about visiting campus as a senior in high school and realizing almost immediately that this was the right place for me. I’m thinking about meeting Jake, Cody, Dan, John, Zach, Tyler, Jade, Luke, Nick, and a bunch of other guys as football players before freshman year even started and keeping in touch till this day. I’m thinking about dancing in the sprinklers by Johns Family Courtyard in the middle of the night with the girl I had a crush on at the time and a thousand stories my friends and I tell each other over and over but never get sick of and aren’t fit for sharing here but somehow still seem innocent and carefree and my wedding reception in Alumni Hall and when I walked in to the admission office on my first day as an employee with my ill-fitting shirt and tie and my rosy shaved-and-scrubbed cheeks and Rich Aune looked at me and said “What are you doing here?“ and I froze for a second then said “Just thought I might be able to help.”

I’m thinking about Sohre Hall and Rundstrom and Uhler and The Duplex on the corner of 7th and Grace and how Jake and I didn’t drink till we were 21 and then asked each other why we’d waited so long. I’m thinking about how Sarah Ruble took mercy on me when I didn’t exactly apply myself as a student and then worked with me to solve a bunch of problems a decade later. I’m thinking about how Tom McHugh taught me how to be a professional and Alisa Rosenthal taught me to push when appropriate and sometimes, when it really mattered, when it was not quite appropriate. I’m thinking about singing karaoke on Bourbon Street after going to the National Lutheran Youth Gathering. I’m thinking about the college fair in Aspen, Colorado and driving back to Denver the long way, taking Independence Pass in a rental car the week before it closed for the winter. I’m thinking about going to the Omaha Zoo because how else do you kill a day when you’re recruiting in Nebraska and the next college fair isn’t till 7 p.m.? I’m thinking about Slate and Datatel and Twitter and Greg Kaster’s podcast. I’m thinking about playing board games with Mark Hanson and Chuck Niederriter. I’m thinking about Barb Larson Taylor and Stephanie Wilbur Ash’s friendship. I’m thinking about Neely bringing farm-fresh eggs to Lundgren House and Donna Hewitt hemming my pants and Vicki Kennedy promising my mom she’d look out for me when I was a young guy living away from home for the first time. I’m thinking about running late for a morning show placement with a Nobel Conference speaker and splitting my pants when I jumped into the passenger seat and having to change in the back of the car on 494 in traffic. I’m thinking about getting a call from Fox 9 when I was at the State Capitol and racing back to campus to meet the reporter before they started asking questions to random students. I’m thinking about working long hours and then sitting at the Flame with CJ Siewert. I’m thinking about ice fishing with Steve Kjellgren and checking in daily with Charlie Potts because together we could usually figure out if something was about to go sideways. I’m thinking about all the other people I can’t name here but have shaped my journey. I’m thinking about all the projects I worked on as an employee, how every day I felt like I made a difference in a way that I never could if I worked at United HealthCare. I’m thinking about learning that things and people are complicated, that things and people are flawed, and that through hard and brave work that flawed things and people can get better. I’m thinking about caring too much and not feeling like you’re doing enough and how both of those things are unfair but feel as natural as breathing. I learned that the place can’t love you back. I love it anyway.

I’m thinking about how college is the best four years of your life and how lucky was I to get almost 15 of them between being a student and employee. I’m thinking about how I’m lucky to keep living in Saint Peter, at least for now, and looking up from the street in front of my house to see the sunset behind Old Main.

Today's my last day. On Monday I start again.